Revelation.

I absolutely hated being pregnant. Seriously, it was 9 months of hell, I'm absolutely never doing it again.

I hated my personality. Hormones wreaked havoc on my body and my mind. I hated my body feeling like it wasn't just my body, (sometimes) and I hated feeling nauseated just from walking near a public bathroom, or into a supermarket. By the time I was in the late 3rd trimester, everytime Jake moved it was excruciating. And I had a relatively easy pregnancy! I had no gestational diabetes, and I carried only 1 day past my due date (though I was in labour for 2 days prior to it).

I spend pretty much every hour of every day in the company of my son.

And I love it. I LOVE being a parent. Nothing in my life has made me happier than hearing his teeny baby giggle or seeing his gummy smile. There is nothing in this world that compares to the feeling of knowing that you are responsible for someone, that you created something more important than a piece of art, or song, or writing, or cuddling your beloved pet, and it is nothing in comparison. There is someone in this world that lives and breathes and smiles at you, someone who trusts you unconditionally, because you provide love and support and consolation, and also, just for being you. they hold you in regard as the center of their universe, which is only fair, because they are the center of yours.

If you have never had a child, you will never understand this. You may think you do, but seriously, you don't. You won't until you have had one. You suddenly become willing to sacrifice everything you are and everything you have for the safety and happiness of your kid.

And I know this is deep. but these are the thoughts that continually circle around in my sleep deprived brain. The thoughts that go, "Shit, Linds, you didn't know WHAT the fuck you were in for, did you?"

Sure didn't!

But just think of it this way, They're really cute, even when they fart in their sleep.

The newest addition to GSD territory!

His name is Jacob John Nicholas,
born June 30th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
9 lbs, 8 ounces, 53.5 cm length