90 Things...

1.) I am not ready to fall in love again, yet.
2.) I am scared to hurt the person I've been dating.
3.) Even though I know he's "A Big Boy". I'm still scared.
4.) I work on average 52 to 60 hours a week. I'm really, really tired, every day.
5.) My days all blend together, I never know what day it is, and I don't ever get two days off in a row.
6.) I bailed on a friends birthday party tonight, and I feel really bad for not going, because I know it would be a lot of fun.
7.) My friend is okay with that, since he knows I work my ass off.
8.) I am going to ask for a raise tomorrow. Again. I'm probably going to get blown off. Again.
9.) I don't get paid enough for the amount of work I do, and it's starting to bug me. A lot.
10.) I feel bad because I have not been socializing with my friends enough in the past few months.
11.) My life still feels like it has fallen apart and has not begun to knit back together again. I hope it happens soon.
12.) I like oral sex. A lot.
13.) I have not gone on vacation since May 2nd of 2005.
14.) I have to do laundry tomorrow. I was supposed to do it tonight, but I forgot my work pants at work. Dammit.
15.) Did I mention I like oral sex a lot?
16.) I really just want to do nothing tomorrow. Including not going to work.
17.) Oh, that's both giving and recieving, by the way.
18.) I commonly reference myself as feeling like being "A little bird trapped in a glass dome, flapping my wings ineffectively at the insides".
19.) I think going to school was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
20.) My father disagrees with me, saying going to school wasn't a mistake, but the way I handled myself while in school, was.
21.) He's right, Of course.
22.) I haven't been home in 7 days.
23.) I have to move in 23 days, and have not found a place to live yet. I haven't started packing yet, either.
24.) The uncertainty of it all makes me very nauseous.
25.) I've trained two employees in the past two weeks.
26.) My toenails are the colour of light bronze. I think it's pretty.
27.) For a moment, I almost forgot I was at home, and not at Cliff's.
28.) I have a carnation he gave me on the 20th of September, and it's still alive on my dining room table.
29.) I bought him lilies for his living room, to brighten up his plant corner. They are bright orange.
30.) I have 4975 songs, which is 14.3 days of playing time, and 31.26 gigs of space on my hard drive.
31.) I have half again as much on my external Hard Drive.
32.) I know that's nothing to people that download all of their music, but to me, it's a big deal because I paid for most of it.
33.) My number one Christmas list item is a 30 gig iPod Video.
34.) I know. Fat chance. *sighs*
35.) To replace my lovely 400 dollar, 8 ounce, 20 gig paperweight, which seems to enjoy reformatting itself and giving me the sad iPod face every time I try to use it, so I've given up thinking it's a lost cause.
36.) This makes me very sad.
37.) But a girl can always dream, right?
38.) My newest online nickname from Murray is "Lindymahindi".
39.) I call Murray "Pookie", "Murvyn", "Murrman", "Mervynator", "Murrby", "Murrbles" and anything else I can think up to make him giggle.
40.) Murray's girlfriend bought a long haired Chihuahua, named which he originally thought was stupid, and now pampers like it's HIS baby.
41.) I think that's really cute.
42.) My new hire calls me "Muffin". I fucking hate it.
43.) Don't you dare...
44.) Do you know how much OIL is in a muffin? Eeew.
45.) I missed my bed this week. Lots.
46.) I'm tired. Big surprise.
47.) I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
48.) I've worked over 120 more hours than my boss between March 1st to October 1st.
49.) Remind me again why I'm not a Manager?
50.) I'm delightful. You're welcome.
51.) I don't see what people see in me that makes me attractive.
52.) I have found three grey hairs in the last 4 months.
53.) I'm the most critical of myself.I tend to self-deprecate.
54.) I love Mariah Carey's album "The Emancipation of Mimi". I listen to it all the time.
55.) God, I missed my bed.
56.) I can be quite gullible sometimes.
57.) I'm forcing myself to stay awake so that I don't feel like I sleep whenever I am home.
58.) I spend too much time worrying about work and complaining about the things that I can't change.
59.) I got my brows waxed on Friday afternoon, and my esthetician was a brutally violent Chinese lady with a sadistic penchant for causing pain strong enough to make me leak tears.
60.) Cliff watched me get it done and swore upside and down that his nuts retracted inside his body watching me "induce self-torture for beauty".
61.) I walked around the mall for the rest of the afternoon with a red rectangular streak around my brows, feeling like an idiot.
62.) to whit, I promptly got teased about.
63.) I pinched him for his efforts.
64.) Men just don't appreciate the lengths women go to look pretty for them. *hrmph*
65.) I can't think of 35 more things.
66.) All I can think of is sleeping, in my bed.
67.) Holy mother, I so missed my bed.
68.) This is one of my favourite candid photos that I've taken and posted on flickr.com
69.) I started crying right after I took this photo of one of my best friend's getting married. I got called "a big softie" and a big hug because of it.
70.) This is me when I was 23.
71.) What the hell happened? I used to be cute.
72.) This is the most recent photo of me.
73.) I haven't rebooted my computer in 17 days. Holy crap.
74.) One of my favourite painters is Vincent Van Gogh.
75.) I've seriously contemplated having "Starry Night" tattooed on my left shoulder, and "Starry Night Over the Rhone" on my right as "cap sleeves".
76.) My Tattoo Artist, Andrea, is salivating at the thought of doing such a complicated piece.
77.) I think I will finish my back before I fill out any other areas of my body first, though.
78.) I don't give a fuck what people will think when I'm 80 and have saggy tattoos. At least I can say "I did it" instead of "I always wanted to do that".
79.) The next tattoo I get is the word "Hope" on the top of the line of kanji going down my spine, So that it says "Hope, Love, Dreams, Music, Friendship". There's something about having Six symbols saying five words that really appeal to me. I also like the notion of having five words up there.
80.) It's been almost 2 years since I've gotten a real tattoo. (touch-up's don't count.)
81.) If I ever get married, I am not going to be afraid that my tattoos will show when I wear a wedding dress. They are an integral part of me.
82.) I google almost EVERYTHING that I don't know the answer to.
83.) Erik is coming back to vancouver in less than two weeks, and I'm totally excited.
84.) My Cell phone has "We Belong Together" as the ringer, and "Jungle Boogie" as my Text messaging notice. I have kept them the same since I got my phone because I like them so much.
85.) I have 5 instant messaging programs.
86.) God, wasn't that a bloody boring point?
87.) When I smoke a joint, I get super introspective, very paranoid, and eat a lot of chocolate with a bottle of coca cola.
88.) I like waking up to the local New Country Music Radio station.
89.) I often find myself waking up humming whatever is on the radio.
90.) I also like waking up to the local hip hop station. It's all about variety, baby.