Back In The Saddle Again, My Ass!

Okay okay. So I know I said I'd write more often, but you'd be surprised at how easy it is to get distracted by everything else that has been going on. So much has happened. Here's a quick update for y'all.

1. Hallowe'en. This year wasn't a typical trick-or-treating Hallowe'en for us, because we attended the wedding of our dear friends Heather and Ian. It was amazing, it was beautiful, it was exhausting. I was Heather's Maid of Honour, so Cliff got the boychild dumped on him for almost the entire wedding and did fabulously. Cliff was Danny Zuko, Jake was Kinickey, and I was a Pink Lady after I removed myself from the gorgeous but exceedingly movement limiting scarlet dress I was wearing as Maid Of Honour. I'd managed to lose approximately 25 pounds since September, (My "diet" was No pop, No processed flour products, only whole grain foods, lots of walking and lots of water, and criminally, Skinny Vanilla Lattes from starbucks instead of Mocha frapps) and even after ALL of that work, I still felt like a sausage in it's casing.

Here's a pic of Jake and Cliff, they look adorable, no? FYI. Yes I handpainted his "cigarette" package of Marlboros and they are era appropriate for the 50's. God bless Google for it's image search capabilities.

2. Christmas. I'd reentered the work force from mid-November to approximately the 10th of December, when I was informed by my employers that I wouldn't be covered for breaks, and told them to go fuck themselves. I'm sure it wasn't the smartest thing to do considering our financial situation despite Cliff not working for 4 months prior. (and honestly, who really isn't suffering during these economic times?) Cliff supported me 100% during my decision, and though I felt horribly guilty not sticking to my job and something I'd promised I'd do for someone, I felt like being treated like a human being more.

But in all actuality Christmas was wicked cool, I baked and baked and baked, I found a fabulous recipe for Sugar cookies by Alton Brown on the food network site. Quite honestly, if I wasn't worried about my ass exploding out of my pants I'd be making them every week because they were freaking awesome with a cuppa Earl Grey... Sadly, I have no impulse control with them. Reality (that bitch!) interferes, and it doesn't help my "diet" one bit. But they are SO. GOOD.

Jake got spoiled to hell and back, with almost all of our friends and family sending him at least 2 or three things each. It was crazy.We decided to put our tree up on Christmas Eve, after he'd gone to bed, and the look on his little face was priceless when there was another "Kissmas! ho ho ho!" thing up in the house. He, of course, promptly decided to denude our poor Charlie Brown tree of 4 ornaments within the first 5 minutes of him seeing it, so maybe "training" him to not touch the tree during the week prior might have been a better decision, overall. Whoops, there's always next year.

Jake's visit with Santa went well, If by well you mean "At least he's not screaming his little brains out!" as quite a large number of toddlers do when they meet Santa. Out of the 6 pictures we got of him on the old man's lap, this is the only one that I really liked, because I think he was in a Christmas coma at that point, completely overwhelmed by the number of decorations and activities going on in the mall and then we put him in the lap of some hairy dude wearing a red velvet suit. I mean, come on, if you were one and a half, you'd be pretty overwhelmed too! Every other photo of him on Santa had him looking like he'd been beaned on the head by a frying pan and he was completely expressionless. The poor kid. Cliff had picked up a book earlier that horror of all parental horrors, plays the song "frosty the snowman"at supersonic tinny volume repeatedly, and Jake being our child, has a strong affinity for being read to and reading books himself. I think it's a cute and very apt picture of him.


Christmas dinner was hosted at my house with my parents and cousin and his girlfriend Amy attending, and for the very first time I can say that I achieved true adult-hood by violating and roasting my first turkey. So can my friend Amy, who helped roast the SECOND turkey that we made. Yes. I said it. Two 15 lb birds. It was chaos! Amy and I were putting on this big show of 'no big deal, we're women we can do this no problem!' bravado, and then... And then... *shudders* And then we had to slather herbed butter underneath the skin of the turkey breasts and we turned into total freaking wimps. We had to reach into turkey body cavities and remove giblets!!! We had to PIN THE WINGS to the birds' body!! We had to rinse and pat dry the INSIDES of a turkey ribcage and then shove bread and sausage into the holes we had just cleaned out. Eeeeeeewwwww!!!

But the taste was phenomenal. I mean, coming in your pants and your mouth at the same time tasty-ness. I had enough turkey left over to feed an army sandwiches for a week. I made mashed potatoes with herbs and what my family calls "hossenpheppher" which is lightly mashed carrots and rutabega/turnips, stuffing made from Authentic San Francisco sourdough bread that my Aunt had picked up for us when she went in November with bratwurst sausage with whole and half fresh cranberries, Celery and red onions, gravy and buns and two types of cranberry sauce. My table spread was freaking amazing. I was so proud of us for all the work we did. My best memory of Christmas 2009? My three very sweet goodnight kisses from my completely exhausted and very happy son.

And then we all got the flu for the next week. Yuck. Sleeping a lot, fevers, snot. Sinus headaches and crankiness. (But at least we had turkey sandwiches!)

3. New Years. consisted of Cliff and I reading our books in bed and then when I looked at the clock when the hullabaloo started in the neighborhood and went "Holy shit! Happy New Year, Babe!" a smooch and back to our books. Yes, darlings, we lead a life of excitement and vigor. *sighs*

4. Our Leaky bedroom. Oh yes, I said it. We had/have a massive leak in our Master suite. I can't tell you how happy I was to discover that it had been oozing water slowly throughout the week and during our most recent monsoon ALL down the side of the window which is of course right behind my head. Happy happy! Of course the Land/slum lords that we love dearly but don't do anything for our house didn't bother to actually do anything to fix it until approximately a week after our first phone call. This meant a week of dumping 4 litre pails of water into a 10 litre pail, at a rate of about 8 to 10 litres a day during the heavy rain we've been suffering here. Yeah. Linds is NOT pleased.

They've since come and slathered roof repair tar over every nook and cranny of the bedroom addition, our porch roof and the conjoined corrugated plastic cover that is half of our porch area. This was today, I've no idea if it will actually fucking DO anything yet, as it hasn't really rained enough for it to drip drip drip. I hope it does something.

I'm sure that I've entertained you enough for the evening, but let me say, Happy New Year! Welcome to a new decade, and let's hope that the next 10 years are far more successful than the last 10!

Love ya!

Santa Baby...

Dear Santa,

Hello, my name is Jacob. I asked my mommy to help me by writing this letter to you as I’m too little to write myself yet. How are you? I hope Mrs. Claus and the Reindeer and elves are doing fine and that you had a good year so far. I am very excited to see you again this year and have been practicing my “Ho Ho Ho” laugh to show you. Mommy says it’s a pretty good Santa laugh.

I have been a very good boy since I saw you last year, I learned a lot of new things like how to talk and walk and draw pictures and a lot more things. I like to dance and sing along with music, my favourites are Bob Marley and the Wailers and Michael Buble. I love doggies and playing with Daddy. I have tried very hard to be a good boy and listen to Mommy and Daddy when they ask me to do things.

This year for Christmas I would like a big bag of money. (Daaaad!!!) I would like a toy farm with animals, and some cars because I love to play with them. Also mommy says I should ask for some clothes, but they are kind of boring, so you can forget to bring me clothes if you don't want to bring them.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, I hope you have a good Christmas.

Love,
Jacob.

Stupid Chuffing Fish!!!

I've recieved 3 betta fish now, from my mom, one has survived, and is enormous, the other (red one) was apparently sick from the get go, and after copious TLC, finally bit the big one after coming back from my trip to Puntzi lake with Cliff. Damnit.

So, my mom gets me one more betta, to replace the now deceased Siddartha, (who I renamed "ugly" because of all of his hideous fish diseases. Seriously. That was one ugly fish...) I decide to get 2 mini catfish, and see if they will be the little tank cleaners that my mom's is with her betta. No dice. Both Blue (Gautama) and Turq, my new turquoise betta attempt to beat the snot out of these two, terrified little catfish. *grumble*

Well, fine! I'll put them in a new, smaller tank, unoccupied by my big, territorial guppies in drag. Lets put this one up on the shelf, and the two larger tanks (I purchased another, with gravel and awesome decorations, to house turq, that was another 50 bucks out of my pocket.)

Wait... I can't see them. They are BOTTOM dwelling fish. Super. Fine. I'll put them in the middle of the two larger tanks on the desk. Awesome, except they are algae and fish waste eating fish, and they are the only things in the tank, thusly no poop to munch on.

Okay. Lets go get some tetras. Harmless. 10 for 15 bucks at the pet store. Awesome cheap and easy, just like my women.

Linds: "Can I put these in a tank with no filter?"

Fucking stupid twat at pet store: "Oh yeah, no problem. These guys can handle it."

Linds: "Sweet! Gosh they are pretty."

I arrange tetras and catfish together in tank. Pretty little zippy fishes. Nice! Pooping and wasting all over the place, lots of nibblies for the catfish. What a great little ecosystem I've got!!

Later that night...

Cliff: "Hey, honey? Are they supposed to be swimming all at the top of the tank like that?"

Linds: "Uhm... They weren't doing that at the pet store. My guess is 'No'."

Cliff: "I think they need a bubbler or a filter or something... Don't tropical fish need stuff like that?"

Linds: "Dammit! That stupid bitch!!! I ASKED HER THAT! Now I feel bad! How irresponsible and money grubbing!"

Cliff purchases me a filter/bubbler at walmart, 20 bucks. I place it in the tank, which is now 1/3 filter, 2/3rds water and plants etc. I'm one catfish and one tetra short now. They've gone to the happy goldfish bowl in the sky. I've also picked up some catfish/bottom feeding tablets for the lone, sorry little catfish in the tank. another 8 bucks out of my pocket.

Linds: "Dammit!"

I pick up a tank with a built in gravel filter and bubbler that occupies the side of the tank. Awesome. 20 more dollars out of my wallet. My last resort, because the tank is too small, and I don't make shitloads of money at my job. I've probably spent close to 120 bucks in fish, fish supplies, tanks, gravel, filters, nets, aquarium salt, water treatment/dechlorinator, medication, and aquarium toys/decorations, including plants. I've followed instructions religiously, gradually aquainted these new fish into their living environment, and spent hours in the past 2 months, pampering these tempermental little shits.

I come home, to find little bodies floating in the bubbling water.

Linds: "Dammit!!!!!! DAMMIT! Waste of my TIME, WASTE of my MONEY, I feel so BAD! I killed these stupid effing FISH! Cliff I'm a bad fish parent!!! BAD!"

I scoop up turq, and toss him into the new, now happily (properly) bubbling tank. Hopefully he does well in there, it's got an adjustment for how much air comes through the filter, and will stay cleaner sans-catfish.

I swear to jeebus above and all that is holy, If these ones croak, I'm getting a pet rock. Zero responsibility, Zero cost, and zero disheartening experiences. This has to be one of the most expensive, effort wasting, time consuming hobbies I've ever decided to pick up. This is why I spend time reading. It costs me less and is far more enjoyable. Plus, I don't end up committing fish genocide.

Does anyone want to buy a couple fish tanks? I've got a 1.17 gallon and 2 - 0.5 gallon tanks, with toys. I need to recoup my funds after this whole fucking scenario.

I tried, I really REALLY tried to make this whole thing go smoothly, what the hell is wrong with me? I feel so crappy.

Yes...

She still lives.

Busy, busy me! Lots has been going on lately, and sadly to say there's not been a lot that I've been willing to write down, because it's not ready to be written yet...

I know it sucks for blog fodder, for you guys, and I'm sorry.

April 20th brings about the return of the Wiggler!?!, visiting his REAL hometown for a couple of days. I think Miss Ultrahonig, (the lovely Allison) and I plan on going out with Mr! Erik for dinner... I think. I'll need refreshment on the discussion. I think it's time to send out an email...

I've inducted Cliff into the addictiveness/triviality/internet cesspool that is Myspace, and hes got a whole 8 friends! Yay Cliff! I think a majority of my friends discovered Facebook at exactly the same time, from the looks of it, since we all started adding one or two friends over the past week.

I am learning more hockey knowledge than I know what to do with, now that I live with a hockey fan whose hometeam is in the playoffs. I learn it so that I don't look absolutely dumbfounded when he lists off a bunch of players names, or curses at the referee from the living room. I think I've outgrown the age where I can be sufficiently addicted to the sport known as hockey, which makes me a piss poor Canadian, doesn't it?

I've bounced back to my old job, finding that benefits, (given certain circumstances) play a more important role in my life at this moment in time, and the overall comfortability (is that a word? I don't think it is... Whatever.) of my position to be more suited to my desires.

Today's dinner special consists of Chili on a bed of rice, with a non-sardine inclusive Caesar salad and a glass of whole milk. Mmm. I'm hungry.

Digging Through My Bookmarks....

Uncovers three different web comics that have snagged valuable hours from my life, when I discover them, giggle, and then decide to read the entire thing from the first strip.

Danielle Corsetto's fantabulous "Girls with Slingshots" I got a message from "Jaime" on myspace a couple of weeks ago asking if I was her twin. (I grinned my fool head off and replied that my boobs weren't nearly that big, but that I was flattered she'd see the similarities.)

Paul Taylor's multicultural and crazy plot twisting "Wapsi Square" took two nights after work to browse through his entire 2001 to 2007 strips, but it was well worth the read and lack of sleep with the references to ancient mayan/aztec cultures, mixed in with modern life and the depths and heights of human emotions.

Bernie Hau's clever and creatively done "Alien Loves Predator". How can you not like a comic that takes two of the most vicious creatures in movie-kind, and gives them names like Preston Predator and Abraham Alien (Abe, for short) with a penchant for speed dating, naked chicks, and Chinese Food in New York City, that had Jesus for a room mate? ALP has permanantly ingrained the Engrish term "Frip-frops" in my head forever.

Good stuff.

The One Word Meme

Currently listening to: "The Final Shakedown" by Groove Armada From the album "Love Box"

1. Yourself: Mellow.
2. Your Lover: Phenomenal.
3. Your Hair: multicoloured
4. Your Mother: Hrmph.
5. Your Father: Brusque.
6. Your Favorite Item: Bed. (Still, this is three times running, LOL!)
7. Your Dream Last Night: Unremarkable.
8. Your Favorite Drink: Juice
9. Your Dream Home: Larger.
10. The Room You Are In: Comfortable.
11. Your Pet: None.
12. Who You Are Now: Readjusting.
13. Who You Want to be in Ten Years: Linds.
14. What You Want to be in Ten Years: Mommy.
15. What You're Not: Motivated.
16. Your Best Friend: Working.
17. One of Your Wishlist Items: SLR.
18. Your Gender: Sugar...
19. The Last Thing You Did: Eat.
20. What You Are Wearing: Skin.
21. Your Favorite Weather: Autumnal.
22. Your Favorite Book: Multitudes.
23. The Last Thing You Ate: Granola.
24. Your Life: Haitus.
25. Your Mood: Chill.

I Just Watched...

"Hannibal" with Cliff... While we ate dinner. Needless to say it was not my idea to watch a movie about cannibalism, whilst chowing down on my vittles.

However, I did enjoy commenting after every scene that showed Lector leering at various humans going "And I bet you'd taste GRRRREAT!" (In retrospect, it's funny, how I didn't immediately categorize Lector's character as "human"; instead delegating him as "other".) I think this was merely to allieviate the discomfort of knowing that Hopkins was playing a character who's very actions and intent were so unbelievably immoral. I suppose you could call that "The Chandler Method".

We apparently OWN this DVD. I certainly didn't buy it. My proclivities lean towards comedies.

I am. Very. Disturbed. 15 minutes before the movie ends, peeking through fingers, I look over at Cliff and say, (rather pitifully, might I add) "I don't think I can watch this movie all the way through, Cliff!" I think he enjoyed watching me squirm.

I am NEVER going to eat sweetbreads. Ever. (Not that I'd ever do that in the first place...) That ranks right up there with tripe, liver and kidneys in the "Ew! Fucking EW!" category.

Oh. I will also never be able to hear the words "Okie-dokie" again without thinking about Dr. Lector and his penchant for long pig.

Don't get me wrong, great movie. Kudo's to Sir Anthony Hopkins for portraying a brilliant, but seriously mentally unhinged antagonist.

But I almost puked. A few times.

Overheard...

Damn. I hate being sick. It leads to things happening like this:

Linds: you've seen "The Passion (of the Christ)" right?

Liz: yes...

Linds: did you think it was good?

Liz: I think so...

Liz: its been a while.

Linds: It's that movie about Jesus, just to refresh you. lol ;)

Liz: lol

Liz: THAAAAANKS :P

Linds: hehehe

Linds: Oh god. I just made the weirdest noise instead of laughter.

Liz: I wish I could have heard it.

Linds: just think "Urkel".

Liz: lol

Linds: ... And Kitty from that 70s show.

Liz: OMG

Liz: Kitty and Urkel's love child!!

Linds: ...And snorting.

Liz: lol

Linds: Oh man. Cliff is SO laughing at me!

Friday Fifteen (Because Five Isn't Good Enough!)

1. What did you eat yesterday?

Cliff and I went out twice for food yesterday, Breakfast was scrambled eggs, sausages, chunky potatoes with red onion and pancakes, and dinner was chicken strips, french fries and Ceasar salad with cheese garlic toast.

2. Are you more likely to yell or give the silent treatment?

I'm far too verbal a person to not yell. That being said, I'll always stop, right before I say something really nasty. I'm a loquacious individual with a flair for really unique cutting insults when the mood strikes me.

3. Who did you last grieve?

My great Grandmother. She passed on a week and a half ago. She was 92.

4. What feels good today?

I got a new job. That was a relief since I was to be laid off from my current one as of the 28th of February due to company restructuring.

5. Friday fill in:

Thank you 'Cliff' for 'loving me despite my ridiculous mood swings and stressed behaviour. You really are amazing.'

6. Tell us about where you live:

I live in a quaint two bedroom apartment with my boyfriend. The living room is cozy and we have a central gas heating unit which is wonderful to stand in front of when it's going full blast. The couch and oversized chair is incredibly comfortable.

Our kitchen has a tiny apartment sized gas stove/oven and a little apartment sized fridge. The bathroom is comfortable and quaint, with van Gogh prints on the walls. The bedroom is mostly dominated by my queen sized captains bed. our apartment is full of books, and fully wired for sound and wireless internet.

Cliff uses the second bedroom as a hobby room for tying flies for fishing, which he does commercially when he isn't doing his day job.

7. If you could change one thing about your home, what would it be?

I'd make it bigger. Since I moved in we have discovered that both of us own too much stuff.

8. Do you do laundry on a regular schedule?

No. Much to my dismay. We don't have in suite laundry. It's a little frustrating to haul the stuff to the laundromat.

9. Describe the place that you sleep:

I have a fabulous queen size captains bed with a mattress that tempts me to sleep in it for hours and hours. There is art on the walls, and a bookshelf stuffed to the gills on my side of the bed.

10. This morning: was it easy or difficult to start the day?

Today was a very daunting day. I had a job interview at 2 pm. I did get woken up for breakfast, however, which was very nice.

11. Name one of your bad habits:

Smoking.

12. What do you expect from friends?

Nothing. Funny eh?

13. What is the last thing you wrote down?

My phone number for my new employer.

14. What is the last favor you did for someone else?

I stopped in at my current workplace which was packed with people on my day off and I covered for my co-worker for a few moments so that she could go to the bathroom.

15. What is your favorite TV show?

It's a tie between Iron Chef America and Restaurant Makeover. I don't really watch TV other than the food network in the evenings.

Friday 15, Because 5 Isn't Enough, Dammit!

1. What is one thing you always have with you?

A hair elastic or three. My hair is still in the "growing out phase" and requires brutal dominance to do what I want it to do at times.

2. What are two things on your night-table (or next to your bed)?

A Bottle of water and my beside lamp for reading at night.

3. What are three things you learned in the last seven days?

i) I really needed a vacation.
ii) Love grows stronger every day you're with someone wonderful.
iii) It gets boring when you don't entertain yourself enough.

4. What are four things parents always have to tell you?

i) Clean your room!
ii) Do your homework!
iii) Call if you're going to be late!
iv) Be Careful! ( I heard this from my dad on a regular basis growing up.)

5. What are five things you paid for in the last month?

Bus Fare, cigarettes, Food, Pop/water/juice, and a book.

6. How many times do you hit the snooze button on a typical morning?

I have an adjustable snooze setting on my alarm clock, so it's set to go off every 15 minutes. My alarm goes off at 6:45 am, and I get out of bed at 8 am., so 5 times.

7. How many cousins do you have?

I'm assuming we're talking 1st generation cousins. I have a big family.

Dad's side: Shannon & Andrew, Curtis, Ashley & Christopher.
Mom's Side: Dan & Ken, Sylvie & Paul, Peter & Eric.

8. How many bones have you broken?

None. I have had to wear a splint for muscle damage on my pinky finger when I slammed into a tree riding my bike, and also had to wear a cast from someone pushing me down an incline when I was younger, which bent my wrist completely backwards on my left hand.

9. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

We don't want to go there. I am a shoe whore. Payless Shoes is my crack cocaine.

Approximately 5 pairs of runners, 4 pairs of various sandals, 5 pairs of vintage style stilettos/heels, 3 pairs of boots, (2 mid shin and 1 pair knee high) and a couple pair of junker shoes that do well for camping etc.

10. How many things that belong in the kitchen are in your bedroom?

None. Surprise!

11. What word do you use far too frequently?

"Fuck" or variations thereof... Fucked. Fucking. Fucker. Fucks. Fuckable. I'm such a dainty lady.

It's just such an awesomely versatile and powerful word; It's verb, noun, adjective, descriptor, exclamation, emphasis word... It can be used in so many different ways. It can even be used to accent itself! "You fucking fuck!" is always one of my favourite nastier snipes at inanimate objects. All of which I shouldn't use in front of my Grandma. (And usually don't.)

My favourite fridge magnet I've got on the fridge says: "I suppose saying Fuck you would be unprofessional?"

Be afraid for my children, dear ones. They are going to be the kids that have a shirt that says something like "My dad could kick your dad's ass!" or "All daddy wanted was a blow job." I'm well on my way to being honky Surrey white trash.

12. What word do you use not frequently enough?

"Please.", when asking for things. Though I try my best to be polite at all times, "Please" is usually inferred in the tone of my voice when I'm asking for something, however, I shouldn't assume that people can always tell that.

13. What word do you use when swearing is not appropriate?

"Eff!" It works well at work when I've slammed my shin into something.

14. What’s the most recent new word you learned?

Crap. I learned a new word a few days ago, but I've forgotten it.

15. What’s a word you’ve invented?

I was chatting with Cliff in the car about something a few days ago, but I can't remember what it was anymore. I know I made a mashup of two words, but it was so dorky I think my brain has blocked it out. I'll have to ask him.

Meet The Parents...

My parents.

Who apparantly read GSD.

Wow, Uhm... *scratches the back of her neck absentmindedly while looking askance. Then back up again...*

Hi, Mom, Dad. Welcome to GSD territory.

I love you.

But if you think I'm gonna censor anything on here... I'm not. Fuck it. You've read it already. There's no sense in playing shy now, eh?

My parents ≠ Canadian Broadcast Standards Council of Linds.

I mean, cripes, I've already written about half a dozen things that probably raised your eyebrows, more for the fact that you didn't need to know stuff about my sex life, (slightly awkward, but whatever... Yes I have sex. It doesn't bother me...) Or my deep dark secrets that I've confessed... Of which there aren't any, really. That being said, if I chose to put it out here on "teh intarweb", then I can't really complain about having my folks reading it, so "Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome." You guys have a good sense of humour anyways, Who else would I have learned it from?

Have fun. Don't trip on any shoes lying about.

Of Exes and Oh's...

Between a conversation with myself and a friend online, discussing whether or not X's represent kisses, and O's represent hugs.

The term is hugs and kisses, or X's and O's. So based on Dave's logic, hugs are X's, and kisses are O's. My logic states that O's are huglike in shape, being the two arms going AROUND something, so that O's are hugs, and X's are the shape of pursed lips, being kisses.

His stance? X's are hugs, O's are kisses.

Mine: O's are hugs, X's are kisses.

Which is right? What do you guys think?

I Should Readily Admit...

That not a day goes by where I don't think politely to myself "Hey! Linds! Hi honey, how's it going? Good, good. Glad to hear it. Hey listen, why don't you write something in GSD? You know... It's kind of been a while."

Then I tell myself, "Well, Miss Linds, it's not really your fault, is it, that it's because you've been so awfully busy, what with management changes and the unholy mess left after Christmas/Boxing Day sales have blown through my store like the wild typhoon of commercialism and the "Spirit of Giving". (Sure, "Giving" yourself an enormous credit card bill...) And me a giant headache.

The resulting exhaustion from running around like maniacs during the season, and remerchandising the store AFTER the loss of two salespeople due to "seasonal hiring adjustments"... Not to mention the upcoming inventory which should be right fucked, considering the state of my workplace over the past 6 months... *sighs* Things are coming together but God! What an enormous pile of shit to wade through until it's finished... (though, it never really gets "finished".) I'm very, very tired. Bone tired.

However, that's not the only reason...

And then I tell myself it's because I've been so happy, living with my boyfriend, and just puttering along, on my/Our own little cloud nine. How much could I really write about how nauseatingly, incredibly, fantastically WONDERFUL my relationship is, and how complete it makes me feel before I become some sort of online I Heart Cliff fanclub, and I'm his number one super-awesome happyfuntime fangirl? Who the hell wants to read that sort of stuff? Yeah, you're happy, Linds, we get it. Good for you. Excuse me while my teeth rot and then fall out.

Who wants to hear that shit? No one, right? Right.

Well, I am really damned happy. So there. I do Heart Cliff. But trust me, it won't lead up to that point where I've uploaded sparkly MySpace animated gifs for every bloody day of the week up here, and if it does, someone please point it out, by, like, slapping me?

But no, that's not it, either.

It's that I have nothing else to write about right now, and I honestly feel unmotivated to write anything in general. I feel obligated to post in here, instead of wanting to.

I could tell you I did an IQ test on Tickle at 11something pm, a week ago and it told me I had an IQ of 122. (What with Cliff poking his nose in and distracting me, while I was trying to answer in a timely fashion.) I'm sure I could have scored higher.

It told me my strengths lie in art/creative projects, writing/communication and logic/problem solving... Well, goodness golly me... You think? Thank you Tickle.com. Whatever would I do without you? Let me write it out on an online weblog and tell all the people that don't give a shit the stuff I knew already!

I could tell you I got my ring that I got for Christmas sized for my left middle finger, but honestly, it's boring. Well, no... Wait. Not the jewelry, I LOVE the ring, don't get me wrong, but it's not "write worthy" material.

I could write and apologize to my readers that I still have yet to post my compilation album for 2006, "Biologique" up for grabs, because I've been busy. Real busy. Honest Injun. I have holidays starting on the 3rd of February, where I'll have 10 days of doing absolutely nothing in between having crazy-hot sex with my boyfriend and sleeping in obscenely late in the afternoon, to ensure that these tracks and the album art get posted up here. You'll just have to wait for your free music, imported under exceptional bitrate and quality, so really, I'm very sorry. I appreciate your patience.

Oh wait, this is under the assumption that I actually still have readers after this diatribe.

Just... Give me a bit, okay? I know it leads to a more boring work day for you guys, but I'd like to focus on the book I've been hemming and hawwing over, which I'll probably scrap entirely and start anew on. I'd love to work on my website for design that I've been neglecting to work on for months and months. I'd like to put the finishing touches on my digital portfolio, and then go and get the same thing printed all shiny and glossy and posted by my own hand onto some gorgeous charcoal grey 140 weight card stock, in a stunning black, butter-soft, leather folder.

I've just got some stuff on my plate, and my mind in other places right now. That doesn't mean I don't think your sexy and don't want to be with you anymore, baby. Once this stuff is dealt with, I'll be back, and better than ever. I promise.

Listening to: Beyoncé - "Irreplaceable" from the album "B-Day"

Overheard...

Sometimes, I'm such a genius it hurts.

Cliff from the living room: "Why are they showing a yeast infection medication commercial during the middle of a war movie?! Gee, you guys sure hit your target audience right on the head! Idiots!"

Me, from the bedroom: "Hey! Girls like war too, you know!"


Previously in the day, discussing dinner:


Cliff: "I added peas to the stew last."

Me: "That makes sense. Peas tend to disapparate when they overcook."

Cliff: *looking at me oddly* "Disapparate?"

Me: "Wait. No... I meant "dissipate"... You know, dissolve."

Cliff: *smirks at me*

Me: "Fall apart into mush blending in with everything else in the pot, like peas tend to do!"

Cliff: *tries to stifle laughter*

Me: "Damn those Harry Potter books!!"

"Elf" Cliff

"Elf" Cliff, originally uploaded by Miss Linds.

I got what I wanted for Christmas! Plus, I even got to open it up early! Sweet!

We went to a Christmas dinner at the local little restaurant that we go to on a regular basis, and I snapped a photo with the trusty cell camera, that I just got to uploading now.

Rogg.

A wee roggy from browsing various websites on the internet... Mostly Myspace page layout and glittery graphics pages.

To the "webmaster" (who is more likely some pimply teenaged nerd who picked up one book on code and got daddy's credit card number for web hosting access): Did you actually LEARN how to connect hyperlinks to the pages they are supposed to link to properly? Ever? Did the thought even occur to you? One click on Burberry layouts, and I'm tits deep in Emo pictures. Eurgh! Myspace is the haven for shitty coding. CSS works, kids.

For instance, (though it makes me look completely geeky) take a browse at MY profile. it's simple, there are NO shiny shiny things on it. There's good, interesting music on it. It's not myspace default. This doesn't take much effort.

Cum on, folks!

Oh, Oh... Ohhhh, Oh, yes! Yes! Don't stop! Reading, that is.

Just to spread awareness, today, December 22nd, 2006 is International "Global Orgasm Day".

What, you don't believe me? Think I'm full of crap? Think I'm making up *excuses* to cum? (Like I needed an excuse...)

Well... Check it out for yourself. (Though, the link is most likely NSFW, what with being discussing cumming and whatnot.)

I'd just like to say that I've done my part with a little help from a willing boyfriend who thoroughly enjoyed his participation, in contributing to "effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy a Synchronized Global Orgasm."

I've participated twice, and may yet participate again for this worthy cause before the night is up.

Now now. Don't be shy. *winks*

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Linds
Birthday:	May 1st, 1980
Birthplace:	Burnaby, B.C.
Current Location:	Surrey, B.C.
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Brown
Height:	Five Nine
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Left
Your Heritage:	French Canadian and English
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Nikes
Your Weakness:	Chocolate, Sweet, Honest men.
Your Fears:	Loneliness.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Ham, Pineapple, Mushroom and Double Cheese. Oh Yeah.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	The year is almost over. I'll say next year is advancing myself personally and emotionally.
Your Most Overused Phrase:	Fuck.
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Fuck.
Your Best Physical Feature:	Eyes, lips, Face, Legs.
Your Bedtime:	11pm, usually.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Aiden, my best bud in elementary school
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Mickey D's.
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	Yes.
Do you Swear:	Yes.
Do you Sing:	Yes.
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes.
Have you Been in Love:	Yes.
Do you want to go to College:	Already did. It costs a lot.
Do you want to get Married:	Yes.
Do you belive in yourself:	Most of the time, yep.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	No, not usually, to my recollection
Do you think you are Attractive:	Most of the time, yep.
Are you a Health Freak:	No.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yup!
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes, I like to walk in them too.
Do you play an Instrument:	In order of skill: Skin flute, Guitar.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	No.
In the past month have you Smoked:	Yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	No.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes. I work in one, at the moment.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Yes.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No... I don't think so.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Nopers.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Nope.
Ever been Drunk:	Uh... yes.
Ever been called a Tease:	Yes.
Ever been Beaten up:	No.
Ever Shoplifted:	Yes, when I was young and stupid.
How do you want to Die:	I don't like thinking about that. Preferably very old, and sleeping.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	A Grown up!
What country would you most like to Visit:	Austrailia, Russia, new Zealand, Italy.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue, Brown, or Green
Favourite Hair Color:	Brown. The world needs more brunette men.
Short or Long Hair:	Short. I like the back of a man's neck.
Height:	taller than me.
Weight:	irrelevant.
Best Clothing Style:	doesn't matter. Jeans, or a suit. Or anything in between.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	1? How is this related to the person I'm "looking" for?
Number of CDs I own:	Many. they threaten to smother me in my sleep. at last count in iTunes... 719. Not all of them are imported on my Computer, though.
Number of Piercings:	9
Number of Tattoos:	9
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Many. I'm neurotic, though.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

a Brief...

Note, that the 2006 compilation *will* be up sometime, probably on Friday, when I actually have time to think, or breathe. Or do anything that requires doing anything that isn't involved with work.

Yes... I'm... I mean... *it's* coming.


Loves ya!

Mmm! Tastier!

I just recieved a package via Canada Post in the mail from my dear friend Sean! The contents being one handwritten letter, and one ENORMOUS bag of lindt mixed truffles. Whoooooooooo hah!!

Thanks Seanners! I'll put these chocolates to very good use!!

XXOO

Linds