The Talking Pedometer...

Is possessed.

Somewhere, along the way, the poltergiest that seems to cling on to me like a desperate ex-boyfriend that I've dumped years ago; and despite it being years after my adolescence, (Poltergiests usually only linger around adolescents... Bet you didn't know that.) has decided to inhabit the talking pedometer on the shelf at my work.

Every few days or so, the tinny, lurching female voice announcing how many steps this stationary pedometer has taken, and echoes through the store I work at. It stops immediately when I walk around the corner to shut it off. Creepy, no?

Tres creepy.

It dawned on me that this week, has been one of the best in my life, and I don't know why.

My heart feels lighter. My soul feels all sparkly. The amount of cheese in that statement make me wanna barf.

I'm happier than I've been in almost a year. Why though? My finances are still fucked, and I'm still rather clueless as to how to fix that situation... I'm single (Though, admittedly, I'm appreciating that fact enormously...) and I make minimum wage, doing a job that I'm good at, but that I have no real passion for, in a store that apparently has the possessed talking pedometer.

My New Years Resolution, was to forget about Devin, and to not be so "viciously hard on myself", as everyone seems to claim I am. To forget about how much I hurt, and for how long it hurt me to split with him... Even though it was really *mostly* my decision. I thought about that long and hard, and though I'd thought it was a good decision...

I just decided to move on. Big deal. Time to grow up. Suck it up, princess. Build a motherfuckin bridge and get over it. Don't beat yourself up. Learn to relax... That might be why. As a matter of fact, I think That IS the reason why. To quit lingering on to the past, and the things I can't change, and to not freak out when everything doesn't go the way I've planned. It's a hard thing for a Taurus to learn...

Talk about ruining my life, an the possibilities of being myself, and being free, if not financially , than spiritually, so to speak. It was my own damned fault. It was my own damned fault, and I learned from it, and I don't give a fuck enough to blame myself for it.

I've become a bit of a hermit, for the past few months, but I think I needed it. I think I needed it a lot.

You know why? Because I learned to miss people.

You know who I miss? It's the people that actually "love" me. for who I am, and for all my faults, and all my skills, like nunchucks, and computer hacking and the ability to crack a comment that would send me straight to hell, if I gave a fuck about that stuff.

It's Erik, it's Melissa, and Crystal, and Jeri, Mitch, Scott, Dean, it's Mike G, and all the rest of my DFW cronies. It's TJP and Blondie and my nephew, Kirk. You name it. I miss you guys, but when I'm back in the proverbial saddle again, it's gonna be exactly the same as it was before. It's knowing that you guys might not be here, but you miss me, and care about me anyways.

Thanks.