OooOOooh! Spider!

Makes you wanna pick your feet up from off of the floor. Grody.

We got so many comments on our pumpkins this year I was totally stoked.

Pumpkins!

A few of the pumpkins carved. The "Hell Hound" (second from the left) is pretty damned cool.

Happy Halloween.

Yet another evening spent at my parents. I had a fabulous roast beef dinner cooked by Mom. Yum.

However, this afternoon revealed a lot of information. About school, and me moving into my Grandmothers place for a year while I take my course. I got accepted for my student loan from the British Columbia Student Assistance Program. Now it's a matter of getting a secondary loan from a private institution, and moving probably around mid December.

On top of carving at least four pumpkins this weekend alone, (All of them that looked wicked cool, if I say so myself.) all total, I did a headless horseman astride his horse brandishing his pumpkin dome of choice,(kinda like Mr. Burns picking out his dentures) a skeleton pirate replete with earring and bandana, a grinning flaming maw with flame eyes, and a very flamboyant "drag queen" face. Whee fun!

Needless to say, I dig Halloween. I've been helping my parents hand out oodles of chocolate to ghouls, princesses, pirates, spidermen, and Gad only knows what else. Not to mention the ones my dad said were "a tad underdressed" Ie. the street Hoors walking around... And I've been stealing a few dairy milks of my own for all the hard work. Not to mention lookin totally HOT in my dad's fur accented Viking helmet. All I need is a gold plate bra and fur loincloth with fur trimmed knee high boots. That would rule.

I'm also watching the flick "Ice Age" with my folks. Damn that movie. There's two scenes that always make me cry. Now all I need is a boyfriend to cuddle with while I watch it.

Anyways. I can't monopolize the comp here long. I just thought I would give a shout out to everyone. Hope everyone is doing well.

A New Tale to Tell…

I conked my forehead REALLY nicely at the Duff last night, as my feet seemed to decide to trip UP the stairs.

I felt like a complete arse.

It would have been okay, if no one had been around to witness my foray into ineptitude, but unfortunately/fortunately; Melissa was there to help me to my feet. I say unfortunately, because it was VERY embarassing, and the last thing I wanted was someone NOTICING me acting like an idiot. (I couldn’t even blame alcohol.) And fortunately, because it’s nice to know that someone cares about me enough to be concerned. Elizabeth got a front row ticket to my premiere dive-bomb performance, being in the DJ booth. It was a mixture of amusement and concern all around. I’m well known to snarl when I injure myself and people ask me if I’m okay.

However, I managed to merely hold my head and go:

“Ow, ow, ow, ow. No, I’m okay. Yeah, I’m fine… I’m SURE I’m fine!

…

…Fuck that hurt.”

I guess that’s what I get for so eagerly wanting to see hot naked men covered in baby oil. I do believe I’ve posted before that I can usually be graceful, with stunning moments of dazzling clumsiness that overshadow any of that grace. Or something along those lines. It was one of my first posts, about trying to remove my fingertips at work. Damn genetics. It’s either that, or I’m the true Taurus example of “The Bull in a China Shop.” Except it’s “The Bull in the Gay Karaoke Lounge.”

It also serves me right, for bounding up the stairs (There are only two of them, you figure I couldn’t possibly fuck THAT up, but lo and behold, the bumbler, stumbles.) like some sort of demented, mildly retarded superhero. “Handi-Girl” to the rescue. *Rolls her eyes*

You would have to have seen it to understand what I’m talking about. (And thank gad you didn’t.) Just picture “Superman” flying with one fist aimed upwards and forward, and one arm crooked behind me… That sort of explains it. Sort of. *Grumbles* “Up, up and away!” Whilst flopping out of the windowsill. Dammit.

That’s a reference to a VERY politically incorrect, hysterically funny series of skits from “In Living Color” entitled “Handi-Boy” if my memory serves me correctly. (If anyone was wondering.) I hope I have the theme song running through EVERYBODY who used to watch its heads now…

Bwahahahahaaaa! I bet it is too! “You can do what you want to do, In Living Color…”

At least I eventually DID get to see the end of routine that had a naked man who went from cowboy, to being covered in baby oil. Wearing the hat, the chaps, the boots, and then thong, and then, Poof! Nothin’. (With FIRE on stage even! Whoo dawgie! Giddy-up!) I’ll never think the same of “Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi anymore.

Hey, gimme a break, it’s the second male stripper I’ve ever watched. I go for the Karaoke, not the peckers bouncing about on stage next door.

However it was only after at least 50 people had potentially seen me take a dive, trying to make face with the wall. AFTER a very well received rendition of “Respect” of course. Thusly, goose egg on forehead, headache included, I left early from Karaoke because I had to work today at 8 AM.

Oh well.

The subsequent combination of my dome, colliding with unyielding wood wall paneling, has left me feeling a little overwhelmed with emotions that I either suppress, or just usually ignore.

It’s VERY odd, and not at all pleasant. I probably have a minor concussion from that moment of comedic clumsiness. Well, shit. At least I THINK I might have a minor concussion. I’m probably just over-analyzing it as usual, since I’ve never HAD a concussion. All I know is that there is a VERY tender spot on the top left part of my forehead, that is thanking that wood paneled wall, and my obviously way too big feet, combined with my poor co-ordination, profusely.

I did however, learn one thing this morning that I pretty much guessed, and that is that I can do my job on auto-pilot while thinking entirely of something else. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not, but I guess that depends on what perspective you choose to have. I’m remaining fairly neutral on it.

My mom is okay. Which is quite a relief. I won’t get into details, because that’s highly personal. All I know is that I’m glad that my mom won’t kick the bucket when I’m not able to cope with it. (In all actuality, I don’t think I could ever handle that very well.)

My finances, however, are in horrifyingly bad condition, due to a very large error in judgement on my part for choosing to help a “friend” who turned out to be a manipulative, self-centered Cunt. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have to call the R.C.M.P. fraud department on Monday, because the money she promised to be paid back hasn’t been given to me, (It’s not chump change either.) And she doesn’t seem to answer her phone when I call anymore… Hopefully, I won’t have to file for bankruptcy soon.

Let’s just say I learned a VERY valuable lesson from all this bullshit about guilt, and people using it to manipulate you, when they claim to be you’re “friend.” If they use it, they are most definitely NOT your friends. I’ve probably learned more than just ONE lesson. Hopefully it doesn’t break me to learn them.

My love life (HAH!) is sporadic and unfulfilling, and it seems that I might just become that old, fat, multi-cat owning hermit lady in a Muumuu that yells at neighborhood kids to “Get off of my damned front lawn! Can’t you read the sign? Damned kids!” While shaking my fist furiously, that I always seem to joke about. M’eh. C’est la vie. I just have to get over that stubborn obsession with picking the WRONG men. Either they are a thousand miles away, (or more…) too old for me, too YOUNG for me, Gay, (*sighs* My illusions about gorgeous Aaron from the Dufferin were shattered ruthlessly last night… Curses, foiled again, Batman.) Or they were just NOT what I was thinking, or looking for. (Either that or I was thinking with the wrong body parts again. Yes, women do it too.)

Fuck it.

I’ve read SIX books in a week and a half, mostly Science Fiction. I guess it’s a kick that I’m on right now. Not being able to chat online and all. I’ve also been sleeping WAY too much lately. Ooh. Party Animal. *Bangs on some drums* (Yes, I even toss in a Muppets reference every now and then too. I’m a fully-fledged dork, I’m allowed.)

Everyone I know has been pretty sick lately, fighting off that nasty flu that is going around, including myself. I think I might have had a touch of it earlier this week. (Just for a reference, my week starts on Sunday, not Monday.) Gotta love the 7 days a week that is retail.

My boss has been NICE to me for the almost a month and a half now. I’m just WAITING for him to return back to normal, and am not taking this respite from his tyrannical tendencies with any degree of seriousness.

My attempt at writing a novel is very slowly happening. It’s much like that stint at scriptwriting in High school, except for the fact that I can include such things as drug-use, swearing, violence and pretty much anything else my 11^th grade drama teacher forbade me from including in my attempts, that was even slightly taboo.

Needless to say, it was a pretty fucking boring, stifled creative effort.

Now it’s a much different story.

However, I am finding difficulties creating characters that have depth. Two-dimensional characters are pretty damned dull. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been focussing on reading Anne McCaffrey and Orson Scott Card lately. Both authors have fabulous characters with depth and amazing intelligence.

Or perhaps it’s that I’m having difficulty writing about anyone other than myself. Which is disappointing.

It’s time to practice walking in other people’s shoes and really observe what is going on in life around THEM.

I have no problems creating realistic conversation, but the observations that they have around them, and that descriptive aspect of the story, during conversations, is what I’m lacking in.

The more I look at it, the more it reminds me of a screenplay, than a novel. Which could work, but in the end, it’s the novel I’m going for, not the screenplay.

Everyone has a tale to tell, and I refuse to think that my tales are regulated and restricted to that of my pithy existence. As interesting as it might be to me, it really isn’t that terribly important in the grand scheme of things.

Perhaps it’s that stubbornness, which will push me past writing in the “Glamazon Shoe Diaries” although I don’t plan on neglecting putting entries in here if I can help it. It’s my creative monstrosity. And turn it into something that will entertain those that DON’T know me, or know me from what I have written in this experiment in my creative writings.

As usual, It’s been a slice.

*Muah*

Linds.

P.S. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy.

…And hey, try not to make face with the wall. It kinda hurts.

*grumbles*

Well, I went to the effort of typing out a blog entry, and BOY it was a doozy.

Unfortunately, Crystal's computer doesn't have a 3.5 inch floppy disc drive.

Damnit.

I'll get it up in the next few days. Perhaps a trip over to my mom and dad's on the way home from work... THIS SUCKS. Mom is fine by the way. So that's one good thing. More to come probably tommorrow.

See Ya on the flip side.

Linds.

Happy Turkey Day.

Just a shout out while I'm over at the Parental Units place for a feast extraordinare of Turkey.

Yay leftovers!!

Work has been insanely busy for the past week, being the week before Thanksgiving. I've seen enough butter pan buns to give Dr. Atkins heart failure. (Whoops! That already happened didn't it? Oh! I'm so macabre.) I've been TRYING to have somewhat of a social life while working so fucking much that my back is in intense pain in the evenings. There have been quite a few incidents of me falling asleep at seven o clock in the evening, or while soaking my back in the tub trying to relax my muscles. It will all balance itself out soon hopefully.

I'd like to send a quick prayer out to whatever God/Goddess is listening to help my mom.

I won't get into details, she's been having a horrid time with menopause, but the news that shocked me the most today, was that she found a lump in her breast a few weeks ago, and I just found out tonight. It hits home really really REALLY hard. It also makes this chord of terror run right through me, after knowing how much Devin was affected by his mothers death, and thinking that something could harm my mother, who is a beautiful, strong creature. And that if things go badly, I could lose her. I've never felt that way before, and it's terrifying. It leaves me feeling so incredibly vulnerable that I don't know what to do.

Today was a day where I felt so incredibly lonely that I broke down in tears while having a bath. Not something I do frequently, more often than not I fall asleep in the tub. However, with Elizabeth gone all long weekend to celebrate her brother getting married; I had been pretty much alone all weekend, except for dinner with a friend on Saturday night.

I miss Devin. As much as I berate myself for wanting him. I know it would never work out, but he soothes that savage inner part of my soul, where no one has ever really reached me. I just kinda hope I could have a conversation with him if nothing else... But that's probably wishful thinking on my part.

Anyways, I really hope you all are having a swell Thanksgiving. I'll try to have one of my own. Bad news recieved and everything. I think it's time to spend more time with my mom. She needs a stalwart friend at this time of her life.

And if you have any room left in your prayers, for anyone, send them out to my mom. I know I will be.

Love,

Linds.

A whole lotta info.

Hey, Kids.

As of Tuesday my net was cut off. I'm actually posting from a friends place. Hopefully shit gets figured out financially in the next few weeks, because it's a total fucking drag not being able to check my email from home, and write online.

I'm contemplating continuing writing on my computer at home, saving it to disc and tranferring it over once a week onto here from Microsoft Word. Just to get the writing down, because the fucking thing possesses me. I'm also in the midst of TRYING to write my first book, (Which is going slowly, and definitely needs work.)

Highlights of the past three days include my boss having a bird shit on his head while he was out for coffee. (DAMN! I wish I was there to see that!) And my co-worker Matty successfully hooked up with his long distance girlfriend from Australia who has moved here for a year.

Congrats Matty I'm super happy that ONE of the long distance relationships happening in the bakeshop went through.

Well...

Usually, I hate television. It doesn't get turned on under my own control, (unlike many other things) unless I feel like watching some music videos.

However, Elizabeth tends to watch TBS quite a bit in the evenings, and it's on in the background. I get distracted watching "Sex In The City" (which is HYSTERICALLY funny, by the way...) and have noticed a few television shows that intregued me and are advertised for viewers upcoming winter entertainment.

"He's A Lady" -- A TV show based on the idea that four men, (perhaps more, I'm just going off of the commercials) are put in drag "Tootsie" style, and live life dressed and acting like women. (VERY ugly women, but women.) I think I've been hanging out at the Dufferin too often.

"The Real Gilligans Island"-- A reality TV program based off of the idea from the sitcom "Gilligans Island." And I mean VERY based on the sitcom.

How much "technology" you can develop out of coconut shells and bamboo shoots is beyond me, but apparently that's the plan. Hey Professor, you had better be a regular fuckin' MacGyver, that's all I can say.

I can't wait to see "Ginger" tottering around in a gold backless evening gown, and stilettos in the bush. Perhaps it's the evil in me.

I'm also very eager to see what concoctions "Mary-Anne" makes to feed the crew. I'm predicting it will end up very much like "Bubba" on Forrest Gump. IE.) Coconut stew, coconut soup, coconut kebabs, coconut bread...

This is one fucked up version of Survivor... AND! I wonder if they are going to toss in the head hunting natives that visit the island like what happened in the show... Or is that too politically incorrect? I predict rapid starvation of the "crew" lost on this "three hour tour," and no Coconut shell CB radio is going to save their asses. ( I actually love the whole damned idea, as lucrative as it seems.)

HERE ON GILLIGANS ISLE!!!! Whee!

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I hear you calling and it’s needles and pins (and pins)
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don’t wanna touch you but you’re under my skin (deep in)
I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You’re poison, running through my veins
You're poison
I don’t wanna break these chains
Poison...


--"Poison" by Alice Cooper.

THE song...

That I'm totally loving right now.

It's a trance remake of Alice Cooper's "Poison." Done by Groove Coverage.

Imagine it done about three times faster, with a thumping backbeat, sung by a woman, with some phenominal two/three part harmonies in the chorus.

Yeah. That's what I thought. Yum.

I can picture this being played at Sincity, with the lyrical content.

Here's the lyrics.

In like Flynn...

Music of the moment: Ultra Trance 3. (various Trance DJ compilation.)
Mood of the moment: Exhilarated, Terrified.

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Ooooh yes, boys and girls.

I'm in. I got in the course.

I seriously thought I had blown my chances during the interview, but I ended up doing just fine. I recall winking at him teasingly when he said something banter-like towards me. Jesus. I can't turn it off. I actually said "Hoo-Hah." (Ala James Brown, think:"Hoo-Hah! Hot pants! Hit mehh!") When he told me I got into the course. Somewhat subdued of course, I know when to tune it down. However, I think he caught the reference because he just started laughing.

I should have listened to Jeff, and to all the other friends I have, that told me that my personality would get me through it with shining flying sparkly colours, but those niggling self-doubts crept in. I was actually in tears after I left the interview, Shaking from disbelief/excitement. I called my mum, with an overload of:

"OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodMumIDidItIDidItIGotItIGotInTheCourse!!!!"

And then because I couldn't help myself, I called Devin to share my joy with him. Unfortunately he didn't pick up. Drag. I left a message anyways. (And then of course Liz, and Crystal D and Crystal B, Ryan, and Erik.) Ryan teased me by telling me I was going to become a total computer dork. (Newsflash for you Rylon, I already am! Hee hee.) Coincidentally enough, he called me about half an hour before my meeting, and I said the same thing to him both before and AFTER the interview. "I feel like puking." His only response was "Charming."

Elizabeth was screaming excited Downtown on her way home from work. I'm sure the office workers down on Dunsmuir really appreciated the shrill OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDD! that resonated off of the office buildings.

I qualify for Canada Student Loans, which covers about 13,000 bucks of the course, and the rest of it I have to apply for a loan through the bank, to cover the rest of the course and the rent, food and bills portions of that year in school.

I'm going to be in debt for quite some time, but at least it's for a good reason.

While the sites I chose for my examples weren't quite what they were looking for, being relatively simple in design instead of spectacular, my vocabulary and oral skills (NO! Not those oral skills! You Perves!) got me where my site choices couldn't get me. Damn me for being a huge fan of simple web design, that is easy to navigate through.

It was recommended by the course coordinator, to expand my ideas on design and to "bone up" on design magazines in the Library and check out all sorts of sites in preparation for this heavily intensive course. I'm going to take his advice. I'll be damned if I'll fail when I'm given this opportunity. I know I can do this.

A guy I dated briefly, Steve, once told me that he could see "determination" portrayed in my eyes. Damned rights. I'm going to get what I want this time, by any means possible.

School starts January 10th.

Oooooh Mercy.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
and they're like it's better than yours,
damned right it's better than yours,
I can teach you, but I have to charge.

--Kelis. "Milkshake"

These are a few of my (not so) favourite things...(AKA My Pet Peeves)

This oughta be fun. Here goes.


1.) Money.

Well. Owing it at least. Having it is fine with me. Donations can be sent to...

2.) Stupid people.

Jessica Simpson for example. She just pushes me past my "dumb fuck" quotient for the day. The memory stricken old ladies that shop at my work SWEARING that we make this jam filled bun thingy, that we've NEVER MADE, every single week.

"Listen lady, WE DON'T MAKE THAT. We never have!"

3.) Skinny people that tell me "I'm fat."

Oh just fuck off. You're 115 pounds soaking wet. Next to me, you look like a goddamned toothpick. Get some body fat.

Everyone is entitled to have "fat days."

Just don't mention it to me. Most days feel like "fat days" to me.

4.) My assistant manager saying he's my "friend" and then being a hypocrite about me drinking WATER in the shop when everyone else is allowed to drink soda, or coffee, or water.

Bitch, please.

5.) Men that lead me on, and promise a relationship, etc... Just to get into my panties, and then fuck off when they wake up the next morning.

Honestly, if you just wanna fuck, tell me you just wanna fuck. I'm sexually open to things, and quite frankly I make a piss poor girlfriend most of the time anyways. (Liz grumbled quite a bit over this statement.) You might not get into my panties, but at least you were honest. (Which scores you brownie points, and a potential, "Maybe next time, honey.")

This is why I fuck my ex-boyfriends. At least that way I know THEY are a good fuck, they already know that I'm a good fuck, but a huge hassle in the long run. I've actually said "no" to men that ask me for my phone number when all is said and done. No one said I was nice. They just assume that I am.

I don't chase them either. If they don't call when they say they will, I don't chase them down for attention. I can find it elsewhere.

6.)"Fred Flintstone" style Lies.

You know the ones I'm talking about. When Fred could just tell Wilma he forgot their anniversary, instead of lying, and subsequently getting tangled up in said lie, making it bigger and BIGGER.

Just tell the truth.

I actually YELL at Fred when I watch T.V. and he starts lying in the cartoon. You fucking moron. All he does is remind me of My first boyfriend. You've corrupted several generations of men into doing stupid things. Thank you SO MUCH Hannah-Barbara.

7.) Really repetitive music.

Like "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim. Don't get me wrong, I love Fatboy Slim. I just hate that song. That one, and "Hero" by Chad Kroeger. (But only because my first boyfriend played it ad nauseum.)

8.) People that message me over and over again, when I tell them I have to go.

I know I'm fun to talk to. But I have a life other than on here. I realize that I can be as annoying as everyone else, but when someone tells me "I gotta go..." or "I'm busy working" Okay yeah, you gotta go, or you're busy working. Ciao for now buddy, talk to you later. This also goes for people that substitute three letters for nine, in chat, (like H R U for How are you? Or the ones that relentlessly ask for your ASL? or WHY? when you won't let them view your cam.) I don't need an excuse. Deal with it. That's the beauty of controlling who can view your cam, or chat with you in chat programmes in the first place.

9.) People that talk to me like I'm stupid.

Yes, I cover my ass occasionally by acting like a ditz. I don't like it all that much, but sometimes you just have to.

Other than that, don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, or I'm smacking your stupid, patronizing face in. (OooOoooh, I'm nasty today!)

I have a co-worker named "G. I AM NOT AN OBJECT." Yes, that IS her legal name. When I asked her how she came up with it, I get an ephemeral answer of "Oh, I discovered it through transcendental meditation..." Uhm... Yeeeeah, right. After that I stopped attempting any semblance of conversation, and zoned out on icing my cupcakes, finding my interaction with them more stimulating. I mean, it's not even releated to feminism for Christ's sake.

She talks to me like I'm a toy poodle. It's all I can do to grimace a semblance of a smile when she walks into the shop. Listen, Freako, talk to me like a human. Even if you are retarded enough to change your name to that for the sake of "art" I'm not going humour you when you start talking to me like I'm a dog. Your original name that your parents gave you is beautiful. It's scads better than mine. Learn to love it, you gargantuan, spider-limbed, tree hugging hippie.

Jesus. I can't even tell you JOKES without worrying that you're gonna be running to the office to get me written up for "harassment." I tell you the ones I tell my five year old nephew. And even he only giggles a little bit.

10.) Teenagers.

I HATE teenagers. I hated teenagers when I WAS a teenager. They think they know everything, their problems are petty, a zit *GASP! HORROR! SHOCK!* is the END of the known universe! They look at you like you're stupid when you suggest something to them. They always have a problem with the "rents." Well honey, sorry to say but unless that's the amount of money you pay to your landlord every month, or the musical, you're using the wrong goddamned word. Life is a lesson. Please learn faster, thank you very much. And what's with the sounds they make "Psssht! Psssht! Whatev! (holding fingers up in a W shape) "Damn! Fo shizzle mo nizzle, nigga!" And what is using the word LIKE every second word... "Like Oh my god! And then he totally said like blah blah blah, Like blah blah like blah blah blah."

GARG!!!!!

Yeah. Puhleeze.

MmmMmmm that was a good rant. *Lights up a smoke*

These are a few of my favourite things...

Music of the moment : Liz on her Acoustic Spanish Guitar.
Mood of the moment: Mellow, Longing.

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1.) Listening to Elizabeth play her acoustic and singing for me.

She plays "The Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog so sweetly it makes tears come to my eyes. Actually, she always sings sweetly. It's rare and very enjoyable. Occasionally I join in with harmony if I can think it up fast enough in my head. I love hearing her work on a song while I'm being creative writing here.

2.) Watching British Comedy, and Old Bugs Bunny cartoons.

I grew up on Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, and Monty Python. I grew up watching Bugs Bunny with my parents. I still do it occasionally.

3.) Butter chicken, Basmati rice and a Garlic Naan bread.

Every Thursday, I reward myself for surviving the week with a whole bunch of it from Curry Express.

4.) Skin.

I'm a hedonist. I love the feel, scent, taste and look of skin.

5.) Celebrating my time with my friends.

Crystal B, Crystal D, Elizabeth, Ryan, Erik, Allison, Melissa, Liser(Lisa), Norm, Murray, Dave, Dave, Dave, Chris, Chris, Chris, (Whoo my bois are in three's no less!) Sandy, Cass, a ton of others I'm not listing, but just because I've forgotten them at this point in time but that doesn't make them any less important...

People I miss: Charlene, Josee, Aiden V.

People I wish I could meet: Devin, Travis, Yashi, Glenn, Tory.

5.) Lazy early Autumn afternoons.

I love warm afternoons and cooler evenings, I love wearing a sweater, jeans and runners and just chilling out, going for coffee, or reading a novel on my balcony.

6.) My Apartment.

Its spacious, nicely lit, full of windows, and comfortable. It's got a view of the mountains that I always got to see from my parent's place growing up. It's got a huge corner balcony, and best of all... My bed, which rocks.

7.) Plain Dark Chocolate. Orange flavoured anything. Apple juice. Cranberry juice.(ZING!) Mocha Chip Frappucinos. Giant beef "the works" burritos from Steamrollers. Coca Cola.

I'm sure my Dad would be appauled that I've switched from Pepsi to Coke, being the Pepsi Purist that he is.

8.) Purses! Shoes! Clothing! Fashion!

I am a girl after all.

9.) Jazz and Blues. It speaks to me.

Old school rap, R and B, Hip hop, because it's not about the bullshit, it's about politics, and thoughts and Ideas.

Rock and roll, because it can be hard and edgy and full of emotion. ranging from joy, love, sadness, anger, and everything in between.

10.) Computers.

Writing, chatting, being creative, and helping/teaching my friends new things.

There are so many other things that I love to do, love to hear, and love to indulge my senses in. Things I can't list, and things I would have no idea of how to put into words. There are people I've met (and haven't yet met, and might never meet) that have left impressions on me, that have shaped my life, and helped me become the person I am today. There are places I've been to, that I might never see again, and loved endlessly. There are places I've always dreamed of going, and things I've dreamed of seeing. There is things I want to accomplish, and things I have accomplished and things I dream of doing.

And maybe... Just maybe, I might end up doing them.

Apparently...

Shaw Cable doesn't seem to know what "cut off my service" means. Whatever. We still have Internet and Cable. Which does alleviate that "Aw Dude! We're gonna be reading a lot more books." (not a bad thing, by any means.) deal that Liz and I had bargained with ourselves.

My soul feels blackened, bruised, broken and aged beyond it's years in places. However it's not the first time. And it's not as bad as it's been before from other people. I'm sick of looking for love. Therefore, I'm not going to anymore. I give up, and it's time to focus on something other than my heart.

My body feels worn down from the past two weeks. C'est la Vie. I slept for 18 hours. From 3:30 PM yesterday afternoon, to 9 AM this morning. I guess I needed the sleep. My dreams were unmentionable as far as I can recall. (except for the one where I lost one of my canine teeth, that broke in half and then I just had the other half pulled out. But I was drunk when I had that one, so I don't think my dreams are that predictive when I'm hammered.)

The dreams I was having a few days ago were mostly in regards to saying "Good-bye" in one form or another to Devin. They were painful, but more sad than anything else. I'll miss him. I still love him very much. Perhaps that's changed in the "way" I love him, but probably not. I hope he has a good, fulfilling life, either alone (which I very highly doubt, knowing his fantastic character...) or with someone that can complete him, because quite honestly he deserves it, (both the love, and the fulfilling life) more than he can ever guess. Perhaps someday we can meet as friends. He's still an amazing person to me. As angry as I've gotten at him in the past,(which to be honest, isn't that terribly often, and I never have held it against him, if I could.) I've always forgiven him, and probably always will. Knowing that every person makes mistakes, that every person finds out what their own feet taste like every once in a while, and that every person can shine in a situation when given the opportunity and the faith (or even just a glimmer of it) from the people around them, and the people that love them. That includes the ones that aren't right there, or even in the same country.

I make so many of my own mistakes, who am I to judge? Everything is a learning process.

You still rock the known planet for me, Dev. You're still one of the people I think of everyday. I'll have a drink at the bar on you're behalf sometime soon. And maybe a raucous evening out on the town with you sometime in the future. (After all, I did win a whole buck on the lotto today at the Shoppers Drug Mart. Too bad I spent three on the ticket.) I'll still call you this Christmas to wish you a good one, just like last year. (If you answer your phone) And you might get your present in the mail anyways. If you ever send me that monkeypaw.

The song that reminds me the most of you, at this moment in time, that seems most poingnant, is "Days Go By (acoustic version)" By Dirty Vegas, and "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. (who are fantastic live by the way.)

My interview with that program coordinator for Langara is on Monday. I've made up my mind as to the two websites I'm going to use for my URL's to show him. Now I just hope I'm what they're looking for. After that I have to hope that a student loan goes through without too much trouble.

Yeesh.

Totally unrelated issue:

I've come to the conclusion that watching "The Newlyweds" with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechey is bad for my mental health. *smirks* Jessica Simpson is so stupid she makes my head hurt, (I swear to gad, she's an idiot.) and Nick Lechey is such a dick sometimes that what he says makes me want to smack him. (Although I can understand that, living with Jessica would make me quite an ass too.)