Boiling point?

Music of the moment: Arrested Development; Album: "3 Years 5 months and 2 Days in the life of..."

Epiphany?

Or just... A confused thought process. This is a ramble. I hope you'll forgive me.

I spent the evening Saturday night, and Sunday for a majority of the day in the company of a male who shall remain unnamed, and I had a good time. I saw "The Incredibles" last night, which I found quite cute. I slept in late, and sometimes there's nothing like the comfort of sleeping until horrifically late on a lazy Sunday morning with someone warm beside you. It's not anything really sexual, just... Cuddling and being close and comfortable. (And even if I did anything more, I wouldn't be mentioning it in here. Even if I did, and you thought less of me for it, I wouldn't give a shit if you did...) It's hearing someone else breathing, maybe snoring, maybe farting in bed. It's part of human nature, and it doesn't bother me one bit. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of wondering what I'm missing out on.

I'm also wondering if I'm going to make anything serious of anyone that comes my way, or if I'm just going to keep it casual and work on myself. I can still work on myself and have company, right? (Or is that not allowed in the rulebooks? Fuck that. There are no rules in life... Just to live it.) *sighs* I dunno. I'm not a player, I'm not really a female casanova. I've got my charm, I've got my... Ah fuck. who cares? It's humanity I miss... I have so little faith in it a large portion of the time, that I'm wondering how long it's going to take until we all destroy ourselves in a fit of pique.

Not optimistic, I know... But it's hard to not feel that way, sometimes.

With my male company, Today after a late lunch of butter chicken, basmati Rice and naan bread, I watched "The Aristocrats", which is an interesting documentary/look into the reknowned joke that goes around comedic circles. I'm not going to get into it, and if you're interested, you can check out the google links here, for more information on what the Aristocrats joke is. It's profane, it's disgusting. It's utterly hysterical.

Summer seems to have slipped away, and Autumn has started. At least I think it has. Not officially, of course. That's September the 21st. What I mean is that the nights of sweaty, uncomfortable sleep have passed, and the wind has the scent of the leaves turning in it. Pull out the warmer blanket, kids.

Autumn is my favourite season. I love the look of my city in autumn. I love the coolness in the air, and the ability to wear a warm sweater and jeans, and not have to pull on the winter coat yet. I love the colours. Again, the scent of rain on cement, reminding me of New York, and I miss that city so bad it hurts sometimes. I couldn't tell you why. It also reminds me of home. The scents, the colours, the temperature. The combination that equals my stomping grounds. It's the perfect time to curl up on the couch, drink a cup of chai with honey...

I think, it's indeed time to focus on me. Friends, I can have in abundance, male or female. I just hope they don't expect me to spend all of my time with them, or spend all of my efforts trying to make them happy. Sometimes you gotta put numbah one first.