It's Pissing Me Off... (warning: rant coming up.)

That people are throwing minor guilt trips at me for NOT talking to them on msn, because I'm either out, sleeping or very busy. It's the last week before I start classes again. OF COURSE I'M BUSY! For fucks sakes, get a grip.

I have a life. Get it? I do shit outside of being chained to my computer, I have two days before I spend approximately 15 to 18 hours a day chained to my computer, and if the opportunity arises to go out, get a cup of coffee, or hang with one of my girlfriends *newsflash* I'm going to fucking take it. So if I don't talk to you everyday, bloody well deal with it. I spent almost a year and a half being alone relationship wise, and I'm used to it. I even learned to appreciate it. I'm not an easy person to live with in the first place. I like a little male company, but *not* every day, *not* 24/7, and I will be pretty fucking abrupt with you when classes start and you're still hounding me.

I'll be damned if I let some crush get in the way of my marks at the moment, because you know what? THAT is what counts, right now. I've got one term of fulltime education left, for the time being, and it's the most difficult of the three, it has the most homework, the most complex subjects. I'll flat out admit that at the moment I'm being remarkably selfish, and am only focussing on me, which is something I've never really done before. I think it might be necessary. I feel almost tortured inside and I need to come to grips with a lot of shit that's happening to me. I can't pretend that my relationship ending was nothing. That's what I've been doing and it's detrimental to my mental health. I... I'm not having a good time of it right now. I'm not writing in here because I don't have anything of merit to write about. Or at least anything of merit that I'm comfortable writing in a public forum about. And it makes me feel bad.

I also have moments where I hate every single human being I come across, excepting my friend Crystal, and even then I get snarky with her. I'm no angel, I've been saying this for years. I might not like the person I am when I'm like this, but it's who I am. I'm not always smiles, sunshine and sexual innuendo.

You want the truth? I'm just really fucking irritated right now. Take the words with a grain of salt, but also as a look at how I can get. Half this shit is stuff bugging me, and half of this shit is anger/irritation talking that's finally gotten to it's peak boiling point...