The Hardest Thing To Say, And The Thing They Want To Hear The Least...

Is "No".

Me: "No, I'm sorry, we don't do refunds on something that you purchased over a year ago and don't have a reciept for."

Lady: "But it's not even a year old. How can you tell me that it's not under warranty?"

Me: Ma'am, I hate to break it to you but the company changed names approximately a year and a two months ago, so if you're bringing me something with a *blanked* company name on it, it's been in your possession for far over a year, and therefore isn't even covered under it's one year manufacturers warranty."

Lady: "A year, a year and a half... What does it matter? I bought it here! You should replace it!"

Me: "As matter of fact, we don't even carry that product in the store anymore. It's been discontinued, and any remaining merchandise with that product code has been devalued to zero dollars, and most likely destroyed."

Lady: "But it was a sixty dollar item, and now you're telling me it's worth nothing?"

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am. I don't have any control over what the company decides to keep and discard in the company stock."

Lady: "Well this is bullshit. I paid good money for this and now I get treated like shit."

Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way, Ma'am. I've been nothing but polite and professional with you. I can't change the situation to make you happy."

Lady: "Fucking ridiculous."

Me: "Well, at least one of us is. I have a feeling it isn't me. Have a nice day."