Frustrated...

I've always wanted to be the sort of person, that when you're around me, you feel a sense of relief and calm.

With a few friends, that's the case. However, with some people, I tend to turn their lives upside down faster than you can say "Shazam!"

It's highly depressing at times.

I can take a relationship, that can be fabulous either from a personal or professional standpoint, and fuck it all up, until you can't make heads or tails of it.

I know that I can take flirting too far, I know that I can either be highly amusing or annoy the shit out of people (including myself, more often than I let anyone know...) and find that I alienate myself very easily from the people that I need around me. Or maybe I just think I do. I can't tell anymore.

*Sighs*

Perhaps it's just the headspace I'm in right now, but I'm feeling very lonely, and very alienated.

It's bad news bears, kids. My heart just hurts. It's a co-mingling of guilt tossed in there with regret and a side of Caesar dressing, for almost hurting someone else intentionally, and losing a friendship that could have been fantastic in the process.

Let's hope (there I go again with that HOPE word...) that tomorrow is a better day, because, quite honestly, today was the shits.