I'm not going to be online for the next month or so. Unfortunate circumstances have made it difficult financially, and I think I also need a break from everything online. I hope everyone does well while I'm gone, and if you have my phone number, you can always try calling me. (Hoping that that doesn't get futzpahed as well.)
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
The Dr. Seuss Purity test...
Music of the moment: (don't laugh at me! I'm old school!) Much Dance 90's (Compilation, disc 2.)
Mood of the moment: Highly amused, nervous.
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Go try it. This is the link.
I caught myself bursting into laughter quite a few times while reading the questions.
And no, I've never done it with a sturgeon, I'm not THAT fond of seafood. However, I have done it with a virgin. It was pretty dissapointing. *Shrugs*
I'm still wondering if the question "Have you done it with a fox?" is related to the animal or someone that was "a fox." I clicked it anyways, thinking it might just be the latter of the two choices.
Apparently I'm 60.0% pure, and 30% unique/weird... But I knew the second one already.
I heard back from the Electronic Media Design Program course coordinator from Langara. I have a meeting with him on Monday at 3:30 pm. I'm nervous as hell. I have to find two websites that I haven't created (that shouldn't be a problem considering the only one I have done was slapped together when I had absolutely NO experience with webdesign at all) After some hemming and hawing over what to pick, (Ah! Glorious indecision!) my first choice is Clubvibes, I'm still at a loss for my second one. Apparently it has to appeal to a select group as advertising, in a style that I would choose to "emulate." *Le Sigh*
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and I feel whimsical enough to toss in a few of my favourite quotes from the motion picture "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Monk: And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
(The funniest thing about this quote, is that I saw the English crown jewel display at Metrotown a few weeks ago. They had the holy sphere in one of the displays, and when I saw it, all I could think of calling it was the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch." Damn Monty Python for corrupting me.)
King Arthur : I am your king.
Woman : Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur : You don't vote for kings.
Woman : Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur : The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis : [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis : Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis : Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
Dennis : Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed.
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Knight 1 : We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights : Shh...
Knight 1 : We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
Mood of the moment: Highly amused, nervous.
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Go try it. This is the link.
I caught myself bursting into laughter quite a few times while reading the questions.
And no, I've never done it with a sturgeon, I'm not THAT fond of seafood. However, I have done it with a virgin. It was pretty dissapointing. *Shrugs*
I'm still wondering if the question "Have you done it with a fox?" is related to the animal or someone that was "a fox." I clicked it anyways, thinking it might just be the latter of the two choices.
Apparently I'm 60.0% pure, and 30% unique/weird... But I knew the second one already.
I heard back from the Electronic Media Design Program course coordinator from Langara. I have a meeting with him on Monday at 3:30 pm. I'm nervous as hell. I have to find two websites that I haven't created (that shouldn't be a problem considering the only one I have done was slapped together when I had absolutely NO experience with webdesign at all) After some hemming and hawing over what to pick, (Ah! Glorious indecision!) my first choice is Clubvibes, I'm still at a loss for my second one. Apparently it has to appeal to a select group as advertising, in a style that I would choose to "emulate." *Le Sigh*
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and I feel whimsical enough to toss in a few of my favourite quotes from the motion picture "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Monk:
(The funniest thing about this quote, is that I saw the English crown jewel display at Metrotown a few weeks ago. They had the holy sphere in one of the displays, and when I saw it, all I could think of calling it was the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch." Damn Monty Python for corrupting me.)
King Arthur : I am your king.
Woman : Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur : You don't vote for kings.
Woman : Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur : The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis : [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis : Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis : Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
Dennis : Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed.
-------------------------------------
Knight 1 : We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI.
Other Knights : Shh...
Knight 1 : We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
And through Foggy London Town, The sun was shining, Everywhere...
Music of the moment : Ella Fitzgerald "Lover Come Back To Me" (compilation of her greatest hits. Large portions of this disc feature Louis Armstrong.)
Moods of the moment: Regret, unhappy, reflective, uncertain.
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Okay, its Burnaby, not London. The past few days the weather has been quite interesting. I've forgotten that during the fall and winter now, we get heavy fog coverage, when it gets cold and moist enough in the evening and early mornings. I can't figure out if I love it, or if I'm ambivalent. ARGH!!! It's all indecision in my head. *sighs*
I was quite good at making a total ass out of myself yesterday. It was one of those days where I seemed to be afflicted with "open mouth, insert foot" syndrome.
I'm starting to feel like a phenomenal fuck up. I know it's not as bad as I think. However I offended a few people without thinking yesterday, one person because I was impatient and not thinking very clearly, letting my frustration get the best of me. I'm pretty sure I really hurt his feelings. I'm so sorry sweetheart. I cried myself to sleep feeling heart sick. I offended one other person because I was overemphasizing something that I just should have kept my mouth shut on. And I apologized to her as well.
Regret is a bitter drink indeed. I feel like a total ass.
I sent an email yesterday afternoon, to an instructor for a Computer Media Design program held at Langara starting in May of 2005. Hopefully I get a response, because the course looks like everything I've ever wanted to do with myself. It's a very expensive course, but Full time, so I probably would qualify for a student loan. There's nothing like owing more money.
I've been having one particular daydream for the past month and a half, occupying my mind at work and pretty much everywhere else. It's a simple one, and a lucrative one that almost everyone I know has thought about at one point or another.
Winning the lottery.
8 to 10 million would do me just peachy. It's enough to pay off my debt, the debt of all of my close friends, and the people I love. I want to purchase a house to be built for my parents on the family property they have in Nova Scotia, I want to get my own love shack built with a recording studio downstairs, Fly down to Dallas, steal Devin away for a few months to somewhere sunny, and then to Europe, (If he lets me) to see and experience things I've only ever dreamed of doing. Come home, taking him with me, (Again. If he lets me, I'm sure an offer of him writing and doing whatever he wanted for the rest of his life would suit him just fine.) I want to offer scholarships to young people that have potential doing things creative, that would otherwise not be able to do what they dreamed of doing. I want to settle quite comfortably, take my courses in school, and start up my own businesses. Being a restaurant/bar in this picturesque location in New Westminster that I get drawn to becuase of it's look, style and history, which captivates me every single time I'm down there, and my own web design company.
Perhaps it's just the simple longings of my heart for the opportunity to love someone unconditionally, (which I'm not sure I'm capable of... It scares me and at the same time makes me so hopeful that someone would accept me for who I am in entirety, and my heart feels like it could explode from wanting it so much.) to help everyone I care about, and to finally succeed in something that I might just be very well suited for. It beats the pants off of a dead end bakery job at Safeway with no opportunity for advancement.
It's a dream that keeps me smiling even when I'm having the worst day imaginable. I feel vulnerable admitting these dreams/goals like this. I decided to do it anyways. It feels so childish living in something imaginary, and wanting it so damned bad that you would sell your soul for it... Perhaps its just escapism, which I don't usually give in to.
I have goals. I have my dreams. It's just that not many people know them, and that I'm terrified to admit them because I'm spooked that I'll get laughed at.
It's just time to start acting on them, which is why I wrote that instructor for more information.
That and spending 6 bucks for 2 draws a week on the 649.
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"I will ride my Red motorcycle into your heart, crash land my feelings on your door step, fling pink scented petals across your front lawn, and kiss you like pancakes for breakfast."
-From "Poetry in Transit."
Moods of the moment: Regret, unhappy, reflective, uncertain.
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Okay, its Burnaby, not London. The past few days the weather has been quite interesting. I've forgotten that during the fall and winter now, we get heavy fog coverage, when it gets cold and moist enough in the evening and early mornings. I can't figure out if I love it, or if I'm ambivalent. ARGH!!! It's all indecision in my head. *sighs*
I was quite good at making a total ass out of myself yesterday. It was one of those days where I seemed to be afflicted with "open mouth, insert foot" syndrome.
I'm starting to feel like a phenomenal fuck up. I know it's not as bad as I think. However I offended a few people without thinking yesterday, one person because I was impatient and not thinking very clearly, letting my frustration get the best of me. I'm pretty sure I really hurt his feelings. I'm so sorry sweetheart. I cried myself to sleep feeling heart sick. I offended one other person because I was overemphasizing something that I just should have kept my mouth shut on. And I apologized to her as well.
Regret is a bitter drink indeed. I feel like a total ass.
I sent an email yesterday afternoon, to an instructor for a Computer Media Design program held at Langara starting in May of 2005. Hopefully I get a response, because the course looks like everything I've ever wanted to do with myself. It's a very expensive course, but Full time, so I probably would qualify for a student loan. There's nothing like owing more money.
I've been having one particular daydream for the past month and a half, occupying my mind at work and pretty much everywhere else. It's a simple one, and a lucrative one that almost everyone I know has thought about at one point or another.
Winning the lottery.
8 to 10 million would do me just peachy. It's enough to pay off my debt, the debt of all of my close friends, and the people I love. I want to purchase a house to be built for my parents on the family property they have in Nova Scotia, I want to get my own love shack built with a recording studio downstairs, Fly down to Dallas, steal Devin away for a few months to somewhere sunny, and then to Europe, (If he lets me) to see and experience things I've only ever dreamed of doing. Come home, taking him with me, (Again. If he lets me, I'm sure an offer of him writing and doing whatever he wanted for the rest of his life would suit him just fine.) I want to offer scholarships to young people that have potential doing things creative, that would otherwise not be able to do what they dreamed of doing. I want to settle quite comfortably, take my courses in school, and start up my own businesses. Being a restaurant/bar in this picturesque location in New Westminster that I get drawn to becuase of it's look, style and history, which captivates me every single time I'm down there, and my own web design company.
Perhaps it's just the simple longings of my heart for the opportunity to love someone unconditionally, (which I'm not sure I'm capable of... It scares me and at the same time makes me so hopeful that someone would accept me for who I am in entirety, and my heart feels like it could explode from wanting it so much.) to help everyone I care about, and to finally succeed in something that I might just be very well suited for. It beats the pants off of a dead end bakery job at Safeway with no opportunity for advancement.
It's a dream that keeps me smiling even when I'm having the worst day imaginable. I feel vulnerable admitting these dreams/goals like this. I decided to do it anyways. It feels so childish living in something imaginary, and wanting it so damned bad that you would sell your soul for it... Perhaps its just escapism, which I don't usually give in to.
I have goals. I have my dreams. It's just that not many people know them, and that I'm terrified to admit them because I'm spooked that I'll get laughed at.
It's just time to start acting on them, which is why I wrote that instructor for more information.
That and spending 6 bucks for 2 draws a week on the 649.
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"I will ride my Red motorcycle into your heart, crash land my feelings on your door step, fling pink scented petals across your front lawn, and kiss you like pancakes for breakfast."
-From "Poetry in Transit."
Lost in translation...
If you're interested in finding what something means in another language, go ahead and try out the Babel Fish Translator. A very fun device. However, I've noticed that when you translate English into another language, and then back into English again, the words are twisted about somewhat.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Taking cybersex to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL...
Music of the moment: Big Sugar,"Hit and Run" (Greatest Hits Compilation.)
Mood of the moment: Highly amused
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I have to give Mizz Melissa and Mizz Elizabeth full credit on this article that Melissa found online today. Liz sent it to me after Melissa sent it to her, as an offline message on Yahoo. I think my sense of humour is starting to corrupt those women.
Now, understandably enough, I burst out laughing when I read it, but it does put a whole new twist on Cybersex. It's both interesting, and freaky-deaky at the same time.
I dunno if I would want to install this thing in my USB port on the back of my computer, and have my signifigant long distance other pumping away on the other end. Or have it sitting on the desk while not in use, and go off like some sort of psychotic sex toy, as the author of this article has commented. I'm sure I would jump when it started buzzing away out of no where.
And! could you imagine if someone, somehow, hacked into your vibe when you were using it? Sweet Jesus on a cracker! You'd be virtually fucking someone you didn't know! And what happens, if you gave someone access to your account or IP address or whatever the hell this thing uses to function or recieve stimuli, and then decided later on that they were a shitty "lover"? Perhaps they finished too quickly, or just didn't cut it for you, or that you weren't interested anymore, could they still access your toy? *shudders* Imagine coming home to see that thing shakin' and twisting all over the place because you left your computer on! Oh, my mind is going rampant here... I'm disturbed and laughing my ass off at the same time.
And since when does a realistic "lover" have pearls and somesuch nonsense? Could you cuddle your toy when your virtual coital activity has finished?
I must admit, however, that I thought of this kind of idea ages ago... (I'm a sick, twisted and perverted little bitch... I need no excuses... Mainly because I have none.) However, I found it a little more than slightly lucrative.
Well. There goes my ten million dollar invention, dammit.
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As for the rest of my day...
Work was insane. If you want any baked product(or Deli, for that matter) at a reduced price, just go to Safeway. Apparently the people in charge of marketing, decided that EVERYTHING needed to be on sale ALL AT ONCE. Muffins, Lemon merengue pies, "Dreamy Creamy" super kickass cream pies, carrot cake, brownies, bread, buns, Doughnuts, la la la... It's a low carb diet enthusiasts nightmare.
I had to work with Val, decorating today. She's still kinda miffed that I got her boyfriend banned from entering my store location. (Long story, I may have written about it in a previous post, but I honestly forget after over 28,000 words and over 85 entries in a little over 3 months. Let's just say that he pushed the envelope a little too far. I'm all for flirtatious teasing and banter, but unless you're my boyfriend, my knockers stay OUT of the conversation. Especially when your girlfriend is out of earshot and you know that you're not going to get a slap upside the head because she can't hear you go off about them. I might have a magnificent top rack, but you don't need to inform me of that fact. Hot cowboy or no. Thank you very much.)
Needless to say, the first four hours of my shift were a little tense, and the last three hours were VERY hectic. Although it was nice to see Matty, he's the cutest lil' peice of jailbait in the whole store, and I got a huge hug because he missed me for the month I was off work. Apparently the consensus at work is, that it was very quiet, and very boring while I was gone. At least "the boys" missed me.
Oh! And I found out that lemon filling, when you have your hands in it long enough, makes you look like you chain smoke 7 packs of cigarettes a day, albeit up to your wrists, and leaves you smelling like Mister Clean. FUN!
Congratulations are in order to Crystal B. Who passed her Road test with flying colours yesterday, and accomplished parallel parking (perfectly, I might add.) for the first time EVER during her actual road test. I saw my "nephew" Kirk (her son) yesterday too. He's going to be five in less than 5 weeks. It's starting to freak me out that he's old enough to be in Kindergarten, and speak perfectly understandable sentences, when I can still remember carrying him around Vancouver in his snuggly. His hair, is spikey and would look neat with gel in it. Crystal laughed when I said that. It looks wicked cool. (Yes, Davey boy, I stole your saying.) I didn't know that you could capture autumn sunshine in a haircolour, but apparently, he's learned how.
The hair colour title "strawberry blonde" just doesn't cut it.
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A kiss is when soul meets soul on lovers lips.
--Anonymous
Mood of the moment: Highly amused
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I have to give Mizz Melissa and Mizz Elizabeth full credit on this article that Melissa found online today. Liz sent it to me after Melissa sent it to her, as an offline message on Yahoo. I think my sense of humour is starting to corrupt those women.
Now, understandably enough, I burst out laughing when I read it, but it does put a whole new twist on Cybersex. It's both interesting, and freaky-deaky at the same time.
I dunno if I would want to install this thing in my USB port on the back of my computer, and have my signifigant long distance other pumping away on the other end. Or have it sitting on the desk while not in use, and go off like some sort of psychotic sex toy, as the author of this article has commented. I'm sure I would jump when it started buzzing away out of no where.
And! could you imagine if someone, somehow, hacked into your vibe when you were using it? Sweet Jesus on a cracker! You'd be virtually fucking someone you didn't know! And what happens, if you gave someone access to your account or IP address or whatever the hell this thing uses to function or recieve stimuli, and then decided later on that they were a shitty "lover"? Perhaps they finished too quickly, or just didn't cut it for you, or that you weren't interested anymore, could they still access your toy? *shudders* Imagine coming home to see that thing shakin' and twisting all over the place because you left your computer on! Oh, my mind is going rampant here... I'm disturbed and laughing my ass off at the same time.
And since when does a realistic "lover" have pearls and somesuch nonsense? Could you cuddle your toy when your virtual coital activity has finished?
I must admit, however, that I thought of this kind of idea ages ago... (I'm a sick, twisted and perverted little bitch... I need no excuses... Mainly because I have none.) However, I found it a little more than slightly lucrative.
Well. There goes my ten million dollar invention, dammit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for the rest of my day...
Work was insane. If you want any baked product(or Deli, for that matter) at a reduced price, just go to Safeway. Apparently the people in charge of marketing, decided that EVERYTHING needed to be on sale ALL AT ONCE. Muffins, Lemon merengue pies, "Dreamy Creamy" super kickass cream pies, carrot cake, brownies, bread, buns, Doughnuts, la la la... It's a low carb diet enthusiasts nightmare.
I had to work with Val, decorating today. She's still kinda miffed that I got her boyfriend banned from entering my store location. (Long story, I may have written about it in a previous post, but I honestly forget after over 28,000 words and over 85 entries in a little over 3 months. Let's just say that he pushed the envelope a little too far. I'm all for flirtatious teasing and banter, but unless you're my boyfriend, my knockers stay OUT of the conversation. Especially when your girlfriend is out of earshot and you know that you're not going to get a slap upside the head because she can't hear you go off about them. I might have a magnificent top rack, but you don't need to inform me of that fact. Hot cowboy or no. Thank you very much.)
Needless to say, the first four hours of my shift were a little tense, and the last three hours were VERY hectic. Although it was nice to see Matty, he's the cutest lil' peice of jailbait in the whole store, and I got a huge hug because he missed me for the month I was off work. Apparently the consensus at work is, that it was very quiet, and very boring while I was gone. At least "the boys" missed me.
Oh! And I found out that lemon filling, when you have your hands in it long enough, makes you look like you chain smoke 7 packs of cigarettes a day, albeit up to your wrists, and leaves you smelling like Mister Clean. FUN!
Congratulations are in order to Crystal B. Who passed her Road test with flying colours yesterday, and accomplished parallel parking (perfectly, I might add.) for the first time EVER during her actual road test. I saw my "nephew" Kirk (her son) yesterday too. He's going to be five in less than 5 weeks. It's starting to freak me out that he's old enough to be in Kindergarten, and speak perfectly understandable sentences, when I can still remember carrying him around Vancouver in his snuggly. His hair, is spikey and would look neat with gel in it. Crystal laughed when I said that. It looks wicked cool. (Yes, Davey boy, I stole your saying.) I didn't know that you could capture autumn sunshine in a haircolour, but apparently, he's learned how.
The hair colour title "strawberry blonde" just doesn't cut it.
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A kiss is when soul meets soul on lovers lips.
--Anonymous
Nighty night...
I just had this unreal nightmare... it was long and confusing, and I do want to get back to sleep, but woke up to get some water, and check out what the symbolism of a few parts were online, since my dreams seem to be so frequent, and freakily memorable lately.
Anyways, to cut to the chase, because I'm fucking tired...I'm chilling with Liz in the living room, I get drunk off of three sips of beer, Liz goes to bed, I get hungry, I'm trying to be quiet, but that's just NOT happening... So anyways, It involved me putting mayonnaise (Actually it was McChicken sauce from Mickey D's, but everyone knows that's just mayo, it's a drunken staple in our house. I never thought that I would dream about mayo, let alone that it would be in an Online Dream Dictionary...) and my microwave breaking down, with my subsequent throwing out of said dirty, smoking, busted down, bitch of a microwave, that continued to try to cook things, including my hands, like microwave possessed, even after unplugging it, by whipping it around my head, and tossing it off the balcony. (By the cord no less. Apparently I'm Superwoman...)
No nothing kinky. Unfortunately.
So according to this dream guide, apparently to see or eat mayonnaise in your dream, represents disappointment in your waking life. It also indicates the occurrence of insults and disrespect in some situation or relationship. To see a microwave represents quick and logical thinking. Or so I gather from the brief scan through that site I did while sorta groggy and squinting because I'm not wearing my glasses.
Apparently my subconcious is telling me that I'm not happy with my situation right now, and that my quick and logical thinking is degrading. No shit.
Happy thoughts.
Fuck, why can't I dream of winning the Lottery like normal people? No, I have to microwave Mayo, inebriated.
I KNOW I'm not happy with my situation. Can't my brain just let me fucking chill out for the evening? Or does it constantly have to rub my nose in my unhappiness? I spent the hour before I fell asleep staring up at the ceiling, THINKING until I fell asleep. Sometimes I just wish I could turn the brain off for the night.
But then again...
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I'm ready for my close-up, Mister Deville...
Music of the moment: Alicia Keys, "The Diary of Alicia Keys."
Mood of the moment: Reflective.
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I had a great discussion with Devin today. I don't know if "happy" is the word to describe how I feel from it, or just "satisfied." Perhaps it's a mixture of both. It's rare that I get the chance to talk to him for more than 20 minutes at a time, and to have the luxury of over an hour of frequent conversation, was definitely a good thing. I even shed a few tears, which he doesn't know about. If I was sexually active, I would think I was pregnant, but since I'm not, then I'll just wonder what the hell is going on with my emotions, and try to sort them out. I learned things I never knew about him today, and he learned things he never even guessed about me. It's obvious our relationship is something VERY worth exploring. It feels like he never went away. It feels like I've known him for my whole life and still get to learn things about him. It's liberating. It feels like he completes that part of my soul that I never knew existed. For that alone I'll always love him. Its the fact that I can just be myself when talking to him. Which I've never had the chance to do before. I've always been so guarded revealing my soul to someone. I'm still scared to show him a few things about myself, because I don't want him to run away.
He surprised me with a phone call this afternoon, which was awesome, and completely unexpected. It made my day.
I've noticed a developing trend in my personality. It's that I'm getting milder. I'm not meek. Just more mellow. I've always been passionate, more than most people would express themselves. I don't know exactly what caused this particular trait... It's not necessarily a bad thing, but not terrific either. I can't dwell in the past, which was never that fabulous, and certainly can't continue thinking too far ahead or I'm going to drive myself nuts.
It's not to say I'm content living in the now, because I'm not. There are things I would rather be doing than working for Safeway, living way too far away from the person I care about, and struggling financially. It's all a matter of perspective. I could be in way worse situations. I've BEEN in worse situations. So I choose to figure out what to do with the cards life is dealing me right now. It's only a matter of time before I get off my ass and do something. I should do it soon, but I'm a creature of habit. (Like most people I would hope.) I'm a typical Taurus, and get totally freaked out by drastic, unplanned change.
I remember when my last serious relationship ended, and how I felt. How devastated I was. I was in the car with Crystal D. Driving around aimlessly. (Which is our usual activity.) I said to her, "If this is growing up.... It hurts like a bitch." Life plans lots of crazy things to happen to you. If I knew I would be madly in love with someone living in another country, If I knew that my first boyfriend would be abusive, If I knew that I would start writing and how it would consume so much of my time... I may have never decided to do them, but then I wouldn't be the person I am today. There are never mistakes, just life lessons. And I'm slowly beginning to figure them out. It's just a painful process.
I usually like the skin I'm in. There's things I would change about my body, everyone has those issues, but by and large, I'm content with my body. It's the brain that's in this skull of mine that comes up with it's own crazy ideas. I find that I can annoy myself at times. I notice these traits that I do NOT like. However, every time I ask my friends that I'm with at that time if I'm bothering them in any way, I get a "What the hell are you talking about?" as a response. It's only my imagination getting the best of me. It's that nagging self doubt, that makes me second guess myself.
As it stands right now, I'm reading this post and going, "What the fuck are you babbling on about? Just delete this post, and go to bed you idiot..."
I won't though. I'll post it tonight, read it tomorrow, and if it still seems like gibberish, then oh well. It's up there. Not every piece of writing gets an A.
I miss Devin, but it's not the end of the world. I'll get to be with him eventually... and if that fails, then I'll move on after I learn another lesson that hurts like a motherfucker. But I can always hope that something goes according to plan.
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"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
--Anonymous.
Mood of the moment: Reflective.
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I had a great discussion with Devin today. I don't know if "happy" is the word to describe how I feel from it, or just "satisfied." Perhaps it's a mixture of both. It's rare that I get the chance to talk to him for more than 20 minutes at a time, and to have the luxury of over an hour of frequent conversation, was definitely a good thing. I even shed a few tears, which he doesn't know about. If I was sexually active, I would think I was pregnant, but since I'm not, then I'll just wonder what the hell is going on with my emotions, and try to sort them out. I learned things I never knew about him today, and he learned things he never even guessed about me. It's obvious our relationship is something VERY worth exploring. It feels like he never went away. It feels like I've known him for my whole life and still get to learn things about him. It's liberating. It feels like he completes that part of my soul that I never knew existed. For that alone I'll always love him. Its the fact that I can just be myself when talking to him. Which I've never had the chance to do before. I've always been so guarded revealing my soul to someone. I'm still scared to show him a few things about myself, because I don't want him to run away.
He surprised me with a phone call this afternoon, which was awesome, and completely unexpected. It made my day.
I've noticed a developing trend in my personality. It's that I'm getting milder. I'm not meek. Just more mellow. I've always been passionate, more than most people would express themselves. I don't know exactly what caused this particular trait... It's not necessarily a bad thing, but not terrific either. I can't dwell in the past, which was never that fabulous, and certainly can't continue thinking too far ahead or I'm going to drive myself nuts.
It's not to say I'm content living in the now, because I'm not. There are things I would rather be doing than working for Safeway, living way too far away from the person I care about, and struggling financially. It's all a matter of perspective. I could be in way worse situations. I've BEEN in worse situations. So I choose to figure out what to do with the cards life is dealing me right now. It's only a matter of time before I get off my ass and do something. I should do it soon, but I'm a creature of habit. (Like most people I would hope.) I'm a typical Taurus, and get totally freaked out by drastic, unplanned change.
I remember when my last serious relationship ended, and how I felt. How devastated I was. I was in the car with Crystal D. Driving around aimlessly. (Which is our usual activity.) I said to her, "If this is growing up.... It hurts like a bitch." Life plans lots of crazy things to happen to you. If I knew I would be madly in love with someone living in another country, If I knew that my first boyfriend would be abusive, If I knew that I would start writing and how it would consume so much of my time... I may have never decided to do them, but then I wouldn't be the person I am today. There are never mistakes, just life lessons. And I'm slowly beginning to figure them out. It's just a painful process.
I usually like the skin I'm in. There's things I would change about my body, everyone has those issues, but by and large, I'm content with my body. It's the brain that's in this skull of mine that comes up with it's own crazy ideas. I find that I can annoy myself at times. I notice these traits that I do NOT like. However, every time I ask my friends that I'm with at that time if I'm bothering them in any way, I get a "What the hell are you talking about?" as a response. It's only my imagination getting the best of me. It's that nagging self doubt, that makes me second guess myself.
As it stands right now, I'm reading this post and going, "What the fuck are you babbling on about? Just delete this post, and go to bed you idiot..."
I won't though. I'll post it tonight, read it tomorrow, and if it still seems like gibberish, then oh well. It's up there. Not every piece of writing gets an A.
I miss Devin, but it's not the end of the world. I'll get to be with him eventually... and if that fails, then I'll move on after I learn another lesson that hurts like a motherfucker. But I can always hope that something goes according to plan.
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"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
--Anonymous.
Over the past few days....
I've had this extreme rush of hyper activity in my brain.
My creative monster was unleashed with this blog, and sometimes it takes over. It's a refreshing way to feel, after the way I've been lately, but at the same time exceedingly overwhelming. I'm literally vibrating with energy.
I think it's more that I feel inspired, Liz read my horoscope for today, saying that it was a highly creative day. A good day to start writing that book I've been pondering. Sure I could write a book. My mother has. The only thing is, what the hell do I write a book about?
I find the cyberculture fascination with blogs, and reality online, quite interesting. I've got my passions, and people seem to enjoy reading my blog entries, based on my life, and my experiences. I suppose it's the theory that everyone has a tale to tell, and that you can learn something from everyone... I'm obsessed with learning. I think I have an addictive personality. By saying that I mean not that I'm addictive, but that I become addicted to things. (Not drugs etc... But more on an intellectual level.)
I'm constantly seeking stimulation. I thrive on communication.
Erik once called me a "Communication Whore" something that I don't disagree with, or even remotely take offense to. I am a communication whore. I'm usually seen chatting, blogging, text messaging, talking on the phone, talking in person, singing, somehow expressing myself any way I can. I often wonder if it's just a grab for attention, or if I would wither and perish (figuratively) without this sort of behaviour.
I'm rambling. Whatever. I use this thing as an outlet. I'm not apologizing for it. *Winks*
I looked at the stack of CD's I took out of the CD book I was borrowing from Liz, and the amount of discs I've listened to in the past month. It's over 60 discs. That's just fucking insanity. I've written my reviews, you can read that I've actually LISTENED to them. They don't usually play in the background. There is always music playing when I'm home. I've had to replace my headphones three times over the past year because they have broken one way or another from overuse.
I'm thinking that from now on, I am going to list what I'm listening to as I'm writing, or specific songs that inspired me to write what I'm writing, or suit my mood.
to start that trend off, at this moment in time, I'm listening to Missy Elliot -- "Under Construction."
My creative monster was unleashed with this blog, and sometimes it takes over. It's a refreshing way to feel, after the way I've been lately, but at the same time exceedingly overwhelming. I'm literally vibrating with energy.
I think it's more that I feel inspired, Liz read my horoscope for today, saying that it was a highly creative day. A good day to start writing that book I've been pondering. Sure I could write a book. My mother has. The only thing is, what the hell do I write a book about?
I find the cyberculture fascination with blogs, and reality online, quite interesting. I've got my passions, and people seem to enjoy reading my blog entries, based on my life, and my experiences. I suppose it's the theory that everyone has a tale to tell, and that you can learn something from everyone... I'm obsessed with learning. I think I have an addictive personality. By saying that I mean not that I'm addictive, but that I become addicted to things. (Not drugs etc... But more on an intellectual level.)
I'm constantly seeking stimulation. I thrive on communication.
Erik once called me a "Communication Whore" something that I don't disagree with, or even remotely take offense to. I am a communication whore. I'm usually seen chatting, blogging, text messaging, talking on the phone, talking in person, singing, somehow expressing myself any way I can. I often wonder if it's just a grab for attention, or if I would wither and perish (figuratively) without this sort of behaviour.
I'm rambling. Whatever. I use this thing as an outlet. I'm not apologizing for it. *Winks*
I looked at the stack of CD's I took out of the CD book I was borrowing from Liz, and the amount of discs I've listened to in the past month. It's over 60 discs. That's just fucking insanity. I've written my reviews, you can read that I've actually LISTENED to them. They don't usually play in the background. There is always music playing when I'm home. I've had to replace my headphones three times over the past year because they have broken one way or another from overuse.
I'm thinking that from now on, I am going to list what I'm listening to as I'm writing, or specific songs that inspired me to write what I'm writing, or suit my mood.
to start that trend off, at this moment in time, I'm listening to Missy Elliot -- "Under Construction."
Random Family Guy quotes.
I happen to think the cartoon "The Family Guy" is hysterically funny. Apparently, this table is supposed to change every time you refresh the page. So enjoy.
| Random Family Guy Quotes |
Margaret Cho: Revolution
Okay, so I ranted and raved about how fabulous Margaret Cho's last Stand up DVD, "Notorious C.H.O." was. How I almost peed myself laughing because she was so funny.... (You can read that previous post here.)
Well. I have to say, her latest DVD release, "Revolution," was a slight dissapointment.
Margaret alternates between stunningly brilliant comedy, and voicing her opinion on several topics varying from Homosexuality, politics, and body image. However, she seemed to focus more on the inspirational aspect of her routine more than her stand up itself. Not that I disagree with anything that she discusses, but I rented the DVD for the comedy, more than the inspirational parts.
I think now that she's gained popularity and has a larger viewing audience, she's somewhat migrated from her original aspect, and using her celebrity status as a comedian, to voice her opinion that was more subtle in previous performances, turning the stage into her own personal soap box.
She'll always have her fanatical followers, myself included... But I honestly hope that she goes back to her original format.
On a rating out of five, I would give it a three.
Well. I have to say, her latest DVD release, "Revolution," was a slight dissapointment.
Margaret alternates between stunningly brilliant comedy, and voicing her opinion on several topics varying from Homosexuality, politics, and body image. However, she seemed to focus more on the inspirational aspect of her routine more than her stand up itself. Not that I disagree with anything that she discusses, but I rented the DVD for the comedy, more than the inspirational parts.
I think now that she's gained popularity and has a larger viewing audience, she's somewhat migrated from her original aspect, and using her celebrity status as a comedian, to voice her opinion that was more subtle in previous performances, turning the stage into her own personal soap box.
She'll always have her fanatical followers, myself included... But I honestly hope that she goes back to her original format.
On a rating out of five, I would give it a three.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Holy Moses...
Lots and lots to post, I had a horrifically busy weekend, and have neglected this blog in the process.
Friday afternoon I convinced my mother to attend Karaoke at the Duff with Liz and myself. She was nervous, but she did a damned good job. Even if she doesn't think she did. Way to go MOM!
I think I shocked her a little when we went next door to the dance club, and she saw me dancing. Whoops. Oh well. At least she knows her lil' girl has fun. She met a large group of my friends, all of whom loved her. It's hard not to love my mom.
I think the highlight of my evening was Liz doing a phenomenal job of "Alone" by Heart, followed by me. My only response, was "How the fuck am I supposed to go on after THAT?" And then proceeded to do the best rendition of "Respect" I've ever done at karaoke. I guess I can pull it off at times. I was happy. My mom was impressed, and as far as I know, had a good time. Which makes me VERY happy.
I was awake for a little over 23 hours on Friday, so I slept in until one PM or so, and was still shaky when I got up, but luxuriated in the bath, for at least an hour and a half, because I had a wedding to attend.
My Uncle Marc was getting married to his long term girlfriend Jessica. Oh my god. I can't say enough how gorgeous of a ceremony it was. Everything from the food, to the lighting, the restaurant, (Le Bistro Chez Michel in North Van at 224 West Esplanade.) Jessica's dress, the view from the balcony, everything was beautiful. I decided to go stag, since something prevented the person I wanted to attend with me, from coming.
I'm horrifically romantic at times, (Okay, okay. All the damned time... *sighs*) and I should have thought to bring some tissues. Thank Gad my Uncle Garnet anticipated this female need, and stuffed his pockets full. I started crying at the beginning of the ceremony, when Marc, lit a candle to symbolize my Grandpa's presence at the wedding. He died in 1997 on Valentine's Day. I never realized how much I missed him, and I think it hit me really hard. I also teared up quite a bit when my uncle got caught up in his vows.
I've been a participant in both of his weddings, and I think, now that I'm older, I realize how much the two people that are getting married actually DO love each other. When you're a kid, you think "Oh, they're just getting married so they can be like mom and dad..." No. It's more than that. So much more that kids never realize.
I got to spend time with my younger cousin Andrew and his very delightful girlfriend Jessica, both of them looked smashing. (Andrew, you Da Don. I kiss your ring.) And also, quite a bit of time with my six year old cousin Ashley. She's adorable. I keep on threatening her and her mother that I want to take her home because she ALWAYS gives me a cuddle, and seems to know when I'm lonely and gives me one. As a matter of fact, she's hard to not have cuddling with you. She prefers it over just sitting next to you. She's probably the sweetest demeanored little girl I've ever met. She's adorable. She looks like a cabbage patch doll. (Can you tell I love her madly yet?)
I met relatives that haven't seen me since I was six years old, some that hadn't seen me since Mamere's funeral, Some that hadn't seen me since my Uncle Jean and Auntie Eva got married, and some that hadn't seen me since my Grandfathers funeral in 1997. After my Grandmother introduced me to my Great-Auntie Jeanine, and another one of her sisters, The general consensus was one of "Oh My God! You're so tall!"
Surprisingly enough, in a few conversations with my Uncle Carlyle's wife Auntie Pat, she was telling me how proud she was of me for what I had accomplished and how I've matured. This blew me away. My mother was telling me the same thing on Friday night. I can't really see what they see in me. I've always felt, at least in the past five years or so, that I was definitely the Black sheep of the cousins, not really having a place in the family because I'm the oldest, The most opinionated, and the "bad influence" sort, because of my tattoos and my character, (I have quite the mouth, when I'm taken by the mood, although always watch it near children.) I feel that they are at a loss, that they don't really know how to treat me, being that I'm an adult now. The only answer they need is to treat me like they always have, with love and teasing.
I was actually quite nervous to go to this event because of the way things have been lately.
I did make an ass out of myself for the four years I was dating Peter, because my family didn't like how I changed for him. And I did change. I didn't know any better. I'm glad that's over. I learned so much from it.
I digress... (I tend to do that quite a bit, don't I?)
Congratulations are in order to my Uncle Marc, and new Auntie Jessica. (Although I've called her Auntie Jessica for at least 2 years now.) May you have a long, happy, successful marriage.
It was wonderful to see my family again.
Friday afternoon I convinced my mother to attend Karaoke at the Duff with Liz and myself. She was nervous, but she did a damned good job. Even if she doesn't think she did. Way to go MOM!
I think I shocked her a little when we went next door to the dance club, and she saw me dancing. Whoops. Oh well. At least she knows her lil' girl has fun. She met a large group of my friends, all of whom loved her. It's hard not to love my mom.
I think the highlight of my evening was Liz doing a phenomenal job of "Alone" by Heart, followed by me. My only response, was "How the fuck am I supposed to go on after THAT?" And then proceeded to do the best rendition of "Respect" I've ever done at karaoke. I guess I can pull it off at times. I was happy. My mom was impressed, and as far as I know, had a good time. Which makes me VERY happy.
I was awake for a little over 23 hours on Friday, so I slept in until one PM or so, and was still shaky when I got up, but luxuriated in the bath, for at least an hour and a half, because I had a wedding to attend.
My Uncle Marc was getting married to his long term girlfriend Jessica. Oh my god. I can't say enough how gorgeous of a ceremony it was. Everything from the food, to the lighting, the restaurant, (Le Bistro Chez Michel in North Van at 224 West Esplanade.) Jessica's dress, the view from the balcony, everything was beautiful. I decided to go stag, since something prevented the person I wanted to attend with me, from coming.
I'm horrifically romantic at times, (Okay, okay. All the damned time... *sighs*) and I should have thought to bring some tissues. Thank Gad my Uncle Garnet anticipated this female need, and stuffed his pockets full. I started crying at the beginning of the ceremony, when Marc, lit a candle to symbolize my Grandpa's presence at the wedding. He died in 1997 on Valentine's Day. I never realized how much I missed him, and I think it hit me really hard. I also teared up quite a bit when my uncle got caught up in his vows.
I've been a participant in both of his weddings, and I think, now that I'm older, I realize how much the two people that are getting married actually DO love each other. When you're a kid, you think "Oh, they're just getting married so they can be like mom and dad..." No. It's more than that. So much more that kids never realize.
I got to spend time with my younger cousin Andrew and his very delightful girlfriend Jessica, both of them looked smashing. (Andrew, you Da Don. I kiss your ring.) And also, quite a bit of time with my six year old cousin Ashley. She's adorable. I keep on threatening her and her mother that I want to take her home because she ALWAYS gives me a cuddle, and seems to know when I'm lonely and gives me one. As a matter of fact, she's hard to not have cuddling with you. She prefers it over just sitting next to you. She's probably the sweetest demeanored little girl I've ever met. She's adorable. She looks like a cabbage patch doll. (Can you tell I love her madly yet?)
I met relatives that haven't seen me since I was six years old, some that hadn't seen me since Mamere's funeral, Some that hadn't seen me since my Uncle Jean and Auntie Eva got married, and some that hadn't seen me since my Grandfathers funeral in 1997. After my Grandmother introduced me to my Great-Auntie Jeanine, and another one of her sisters, The general consensus was one of "Oh My God! You're so tall!"
Surprisingly enough, in a few conversations with my Uncle Carlyle's wife Auntie Pat, she was telling me how proud she was of me for what I had accomplished and how I've matured. This blew me away. My mother was telling me the same thing on Friday night. I can't really see what they see in me. I've always felt, at least in the past five years or so, that I was definitely the Black sheep of the cousins, not really having a place in the family because I'm the oldest, The most opinionated, and the "bad influence" sort, because of my tattoos and my character, (I have quite the mouth, when I'm taken by the mood, although always watch it near children.) I feel that they are at a loss, that they don't really know how to treat me, being that I'm an adult now. The only answer they need is to treat me like they always have, with love and teasing.
I was actually quite nervous to go to this event because of the way things have been lately.
I did make an ass out of myself for the four years I was dating Peter, because my family didn't like how I changed for him. And I did change. I didn't know any better. I'm glad that's over. I learned so much from it.
I digress... (I tend to do that quite a bit, don't I?)
Congratulations are in order to my Uncle Marc, and new Auntie Jessica. (Although I've called her Auntie Jessica for at least 2 years now.) May you have a long, happy, successful marriage.
It was wonderful to see my family again.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Astrological Zodiac, (Both traditional and Chinese.)
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Burn, Baby, Burn, Dante's Inferno!
I thought I would give this test a go, to see where I landed according to Dante. The first time I took it I was banished to Level 8. I thought that was a bit harsh. Honestly I was distracted by Malcom in the Middle on T.V. So I took it again.
I'm pretty high up there on the Gluttony, Violence (though I don't really SEE that one so much) and Heretic levels too.
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The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tail wraps around his . body 2 times. (I think this is a typo, and it's supposed to say his tail wraps around YOUR body 2 times... I could be wrong though.)
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to...
The Second Level of Hell!
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtle the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. (OooOooh, molesting winds! YES! Smite me! Smite me right there! OOooh, yeah baby...Mmmmh. I've been smote. Gimme a cigarette will ya, lovey?) You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
I'm pretty high up there on the Gluttony, Violence (though I don't really SEE that one so much) and Heretic levels too.
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The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tail wraps around his . body 2 times. (I think this is a typo, and it's supposed to say his tail wraps around YOUR body 2 times... I could be wrong though.)
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to...
The Second Level of Hell!
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtle the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. (OooOooh, molesting winds! YES! Smite me! Smite me right there! OOooh, yeah baby...Mmmmh. I've been smote. Gimme a cigarette will ya, lovey?) You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Moderate |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
Tunes to Groove by... (Volume 5)
I've been listening to this disc lately, still loving the lyrics, and some of the messages behind what they contain, not to mention wicked beats.
The Fugees -- "The Score"
Okay, so this IS an old CD. Like 1995 or so. I listen to it regularly. I love Lauryn Hill, I think she's extremely talented, and supremely gorgeous. I have her solo CD too. I have an unabiding passion for Wyclef Jean, who has a gorgeous voice, and Mmmm Lawdy, he's a beautiful mocha man. Pras is a brilliant Spinner, with a natural talent for beats and sampling and not too shabby skills at rapping.
This disc is brilliant lyrically, politically sharp, absolutely hysterically funny in the interludes between songs, (which Lauryn uses in her Solo debut as well.)
Lyrics range in topics from the war between MC's, which as far as I know doesn't happen as often, (or isn't as publicized as frequently in the Media) and the typical MC braggart personality in "How Many Mics" the complications of love, abusive relationships, police brutality, homelessness, poverty and many more topics affecting the African American and immigrant communities.
My favourite tracks include "Ready or Not" which has a sampling of the background from Enya's "The Celts" disc (released in 1994) The original "Fu-Gee-La", a remake of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly With His Song" (funkified, faster and utterly gorgeous with Lauryns vocals.) A remake of Bob Marley's "No woman, No cry." and several other tracks.
I'm a fan of old school Hip-Hop and Rap, perhaps it's the reason why this disc is a staple in my regular CD rotation. It's also one of the reasons why I enjoy listening to Missy Elliot so much. She always has an "Old School" flair. This style of rap is more about enjoying yourself, finding the joy in life and discussing pertinent social issues, more than bling-bling and petty bullshit.
I love music that combines old stuff with new stuff. It might not be the most creative form of music, but it does show creativity in wanting to put a spin on something that was already there. not necessarily fixing something that was broken or even improving it... Just making it into something unique. However, there are a large number of tracks on this EP that are VERY original.
The Fugees -- "The Score"
Okay, so this IS an old CD. Like 1995 or so. I listen to it regularly. I love Lauryn Hill, I think she's extremely talented, and supremely gorgeous. I have her solo CD too. I have an unabiding passion for Wyclef Jean, who has a gorgeous voice, and Mmmm Lawdy, he's a beautiful mocha man. Pras is a brilliant Spinner, with a natural talent for beats and sampling and not too shabby skills at rapping.
This disc is brilliant lyrically, politically sharp, absolutely hysterically funny in the interludes between songs, (which Lauryn uses in her Solo debut as well.)
Lyrics range in topics from the war between MC's, which as far as I know doesn't happen as often, (or isn't as publicized as frequently in the Media) and the typical MC braggart personality in "How Many Mics" the complications of love, abusive relationships, police brutality, homelessness, poverty and many more topics affecting the African American and immigrant communities.
My favourite tracks include "Ready or Not" which has a sampling of the background from Enya's "The Celts" disc (released in 1994) The original "Fu-Gee-La", a remake of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly With His Song" (funkified, faster and utterly gorgeous with Lauryns vocals.) A remake of Bob Marley's "No woman, No cry." and several other tracks.
I'm a fan of old school Hip-Hop and Rap, perhaps it's the reason why this disc is a staple in my regular CD rotation. It's also one of the reasons why I enjoy listening to Missy Elliot so much. She always has an "Old School" flair. This style of rap is more about enjoying yourself, finding the joy in life and discussing pertinent social issues, more than bling-bling and petty bullshit.
I love music that combines old stuff with new stuff. It might not be the most creative form of music, but it does show creativity in wanting to put a spin on something that was already there. not necessarily fixing something that was broken or even improving it... Just making it into something unique. However, there are a large number of tracks on this EP that are VERY original.
A dream is a wish your heart makes... But what is a nightmare?
First off let me start with my horoscope for today from Astrology.com.
"As the stars change position, the fog begins to roll in, clouding your judgment. You have a big decision to make, but something that was once clear plunges into a swamp of moral ambiguity. You don't yet have to choose between right and wrong, but you may still want to keep your moral compass out and ready just in case. Sleep on it, and listen to your dreams."
At least twice in the past week, I've had some really disturbing nightmares. Usually involving violence, and always at about eight thirty in the morning. The one that woke me up this morning was particularity disturbing, where I had to chase down a serial killer, and then kill him. The catch? He was getting younger as the dream progressed. When my dream started, completely ominous in tone, He was an adult. At the point in time that I was able to kill him in my nightmare, suddenly, he had reverted to the age of a six year old. I was crying at the end of my dream, and remember yelling at him, that I loved him, and that it wasn't fair of me to have to do this to him. I forced myself to wake up before he died.
And woke up horrified, naseous, shaking and almost in tears.
I adore children, I really do. More than most people know. This dream really fucked me up. This dream made me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me.
Sometimes, a dream is just a dream. SO, what the hell is a nightmare? What did this particular one symbolize?
I'm still shaking.
"As the stars change position, the fog begins to roll in, clouding your judgment. You have a big decision to make, but something that was once clear plunges into a swamp of moral ambiguity. You don't yet have to choose between right and wrong, but you may still want to keep your moral compass out and ready just in case. Sleep on it, and listen to your dreams."
At least twice in the past week, I've had some really disturbing nightmares. Usually involving violence, and always at about eight thirty in the morning. The one that woke me up this morning was particularity disturbing, where I had to chase down a serial killer, and then kill him. The catch? He was getting younger as the dream progressed. When my dream started, completely ominous in tone, He was an adult. At the point in time that I was able to kill him in my nightmare, suddenly, he had reverted to the age of a six year old. I was crying at the end of my dream, and remember yelling at him, that I loved him, and that it wasn't fair of me to have to do this to him. I forced myself to wake up before he died.
And woke up horrified, naseous, shaking and almost in tears.
I adore children, I really do. More than most people know. This dream really fucked me up. This dream made me wonder what the fuck was wrong with me.
Sometimes, a dream is just a dream. SO, what the hell is a nightmare? What did this particular one symbolize?
I'm still shaking.
Monday, September 13, 2004
As an Aside...
On the way back from War Dog, Elizabeth and I stopped at a red light at 224th street in Maple Ridge. I looked to the right, up the main drag of Maple Ridge, and saw something that baffled me.
Full on Christmas decorations, up the entire length of the street center lightposts.
On September 11th.
Christmas decorations.
ITS NOT EVEN HALLOWE'EN YET!
Jesus H. Christ on a Cracker!
I like Christmas and all, but seriously! can we start capitalizing on a holiday that is supposed to be about love, joy, family and sharing, AFTER HALLOWE'EN!?
You greedy bastards!
~*Additional Edit*~
Apparently they might be filming in that area of town for some christmas flick. However, If it's the city's Christmas decorations, I can guarantee you that they won't be taken down until after the New Year.
Full on Christmas decorations, up the entire length of the street center lightposts.
On September 11th.
Christmas decorations.
ITS NOT EVEN HALLOWE'EN YET!
Jesus H. Christ on a Cracker!
I like Christmas and all, but seriously! can we start capitalizing on a holiday that is supposed to be about love, joy, family and sharing, AFTER HALLOWE'EN!?
You greedy bastards!
~*Additional Edit*~
Apparently they might be filming in that area of town for some christmas flick. However, If it's the city's Christmas decorations, I can guarantee you that they won't be taken down until after the New Year.
Dude! What about saving the Medieval Babes?
I went to an event called War Dog in Maple Ridge, hosted by the Society for Creative Anachronism on Saturday with Elizabeth. Apparently, Vancouver is the "Shire of Eisenmarche" in the "Kingdom of An-Tir."
War Dog, is a mixture of medieval fair, and competition for the "warriors" of the Kingdom to compete for titles.
I would have gone on Friday afternoon, However I was daunted by the veritable typhoon happening outside. Several campsites actually flooded on Friday evening, leaving three to four inches of water in the bottom of the tents that were set up at lower elevations. I didn't want to end up like Bugs Bunny versus the Mad Scientist on Ether, and end up floating away on the air mattress, down the river. (If you're confused, that's also the episode with the Big Tall Red Hair monster, who Bugs coddles/confuses by pretending to be an Esthetician, and giving him a "permenemenant" with sticks of Dynamite.) It's one of my favourite episodes of the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.
I digress...
I chose to call myself Abigail, for my S.C.A. name, after my deceased twin sister. I thought it would be something that she would be okay with, and perhaps an event, if she was alive, that she would have enjoyed. Although that is something I never will know.
I ended up purchasing a few items at one of the merchants, one of them being a dark forest green velour overcorset with black ribbon lacing on both sides, and a black crushed velvet half cloak with various shades of grey "fleur de lis" style embroidery along the edges of both the hood and the cape. Both items gorgeous, and both items reduced in price because they got wet from all the rain, but were undamaged as far as I could see. They looked quite pretty with my gown. I also picked up a pewter "Celtic Goddess" knotwork necklace charm, and a purse and matching change purse in a dark sage green with bright yellow celtic knotwork stitched and edged in orange all at a reduced price. It probably was not as profitable for the merchant but suited my purposes quite well. I contemplated picking up a small gift such as a celtic knotwork ring, to mail to Devin, but wasn't sure what he would like so I refrained.
I participated in a cooking "competition" called Eisen Chef. Its a creative knockoff of "Iron Chef."
The only things limiting the chefs when they prepared the dishes they made was that they had to stick to a particular era and a particular region of cooking, and the ingredients available at that particular point in time. Most of the food was cooked on coals, and prepared on site. It involved a LOT of research. I was very impressed.
The first chef that presented her dishes to us was cooking in a Persian style. Her ingredient of choice was Walnuts. I never really knew the versatility of walnuts until this event. I had a very good walnut bread, a unique style of Hummus, chicken breast slices with finely diced walnut in a soup style sauce, and a walnut mousse that was absolutely to DIE for. (And that Elizabeth and I both wanted to take home.) Unfortunately, the chef had forgotten her walnut cake. (Damn!)
The second chef was preparing Anglo Saxon style food, and the ingredient he chose to feature was Carrots. Now, I'm not a huge fan of carrot. It's okay in small portions,, but not when it's overwhelming. I tried a portion of Carrot soup, a carrot porridge (which in all actuality is a beef and carrot stew, but was called porridge... It was very good.) And I had a sample of carrot pie, which is very similar to Pumpkin pie, but a little grittier in texture.
The third chef was Yuki-San, (who's Japanese name is practically unpronounceable, let alone type-able. So we called him Yuki-San, A.K.A. "Bonny Donny!") He prepared food from Japan, and his ingredient of choice was Soy. (including soy bean, soy sprouts, soy milk and tofu in various flavours and firmness.) the starter was a shot of sake, He prepared several dishes including the staple sticky rice, a mushroom soup with soy milk, real shredded crab and shrimp served on deep fried tofu slices, and his dessert dish was a very soft tofu with a mild sweet almond flavouring and a leaf of this gorgeous lemon smelling leaf from some plant that neither Melissa or I can seem to remember the name of.
The fourth chef, was also Saxon style cooking, and his ingredient of choice was pork. He did up several dishes incorporating pork. Even the dessert dishes had pork pieces in them. I'm very particular about the cuts of meat I eat, because I can't eat fatty meats. I wish I had paid more attention to the kebob style dish that had turnips, pieces of pork and pieces of pork LIVER. I ended up popping a piece of liver in my mouth, and after my shock at finding out what it was after a few chews, remedied the situation very quickly. Namely by almost puking. I should have realized that Offal meant liver, but clued in after the fact, because I was distracted by good conversation.
Liver? No that's all right. I'd rather gnaw my arm, thanks.
I really felt that the Japanese chef had a slight disadvantage, not to his fault but the ingredients for the era of Japanese cuisine was quite limited. Nevertheless, Yuki-San was accepted as a Standing Eisen Chef, receiving a title in the SCA, a very nice handcrafted Sake shot glass and a shiny new handcrafted knife. Congratulations Bonny Donny!
He also got a good faceful of cleavage when I gave him a hug. I'm sure he wasn't disappointed.
Halfway through the second session of Eisen chef, some of the SCA members did medieval dance, and I recognized a few of the songs and dances from class but was too busy participating in the cooking competition. It was basically dinner entertainment. At the end of the competition, my corset was definitely tighter than usual.
I saw several one on one "battles" held by the Heavies, AKA the armoured swordfighters (and various and assorted other weaponry.) None with a naked blade, but with practice weapons. and also the "swishy-pokies" (Being the fencers.) I found the thud of the sword on a kite shield more satisfying out of the two styles, personally.
There was only ONE thing that I was disappointed about from the whole event, and it was regarding caste and societal status. Now, I'm merely a visitor to this event and not a member of the organization, but this did bother me. Hear me out.
I was standing with a few ladies in between Eisen Chef sessions, and out of the corner of my eye, noticed a woman who was from another visiting SCA Shire, accidentally slip and fall next to the "Duke of Eisenmarche."
Now the "Duke" being about 45 years of age, and fully capable of helping this woman to her feet, did nothing. He stood there and looked at her. I was appalled. I don't care what "status" you have in this society, but when someone falls, you help them up, and you make sure they are all right. Human beings are human beings. I probably don't have a right to say this, but in a society that bases itself on chivalry, I thought that was most unchivalrous.
Other than that. I had a good time. A very good time.
War Dog, is a mixture of medieval fair, and competition for the "warriors" of the Kingdom to compete for titles.
I would have gone on Friday afternoon, However I was daunted by the veritable typhoon happening outside. Several campsites actually flooded on Friday evening, leaving three to four inches of water in the bottom of the tents that were set up at lower elevations. I didn't want to end up like Bugs Bunny versus the Mad Scientist on Ether, and end up floating away on the air mattress, down the river. (If you're confused, that's also the episode with the Big Tall Red Hair monster, who Bugs coddles/confuses by pretending to be an Esthetician, and giving him a "permenemenant" with sticks of Dynamite.) It's one of my favourite episodes of the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.
I digress...
I chose to call myself Abigail, for my S.C.A. name, after my deceased twin sister. I thought it would be something that she would be okay with, and perhaps an event, if she was alive, that she would have enjoyed. Although that is something I never will know.
I ended up purchasing a few items at one of the merchants, one of them being a dark forest green velour overcorset with black ribbon lacing on both sides, and a black crushed velvet half cloak with various shades of grey "fleur de lis" style embroidery along the edges of both the hood and the cape. Both items gorgeous, and both items reduced in price because they got wet from all the rain, but were undamaged as far as I could see. They looked quite pretty with my gown. I also picked up a pewter "Celtic Goddess" knotwork necklace charm, and a purse and matching change purse in a dark sage green with bright yellow celtic knotwork stitched and edged in orange all at a reduced price. It probably was not as profitable for the merchant but suited my purposes quite well. I contemplated picking up a small gift such as a celtic knotwork ring, to mail to Devin, but wasn't sure what he would like so I refrained.
I participated in a cooking "competition" called Eisen Chef. Its a creative knockoff of "Iron Chef."
The only things limiting the chefs when they prepared the dishes they made was that they had to stick to a particular era and a particular region of cooking, and the ingredients available at that particular point in time. Most of the food was cooked on coals, and prepared on site. It involved a LOT of research. I was very impressed.
The first chef that presented her dishes to us was cooking in a Persian style. Her ingredient of choice was Walnuts. I never really knew the versatility of walnuts until this event. I had a very good walnut bread, a unique style of Hummus, chicken breast slices with finely diced walnut in a soup style sauce, and a walnut mousse that was absolutely to DIE for. (And that Elizabeth and I both wanted to take home.) Unfortunately, the chef had forgotten her walnut cake. (Damn!)
The second chef was preparing Anglo Saxon style food, and the ingredient he chose to feature was Carrots. Now, I'm not a huge fan of carrot. It's okay in small portions,, but not when it's overwhelming. I tried a portion of Carrot soup, a carrot porridge (which in all actuality is a beef and carrot stew, but was called porridge... It was very good.) And I had a sample of carrot pie, which is very similar to Pumpkin pie, but a little grittier in texture.
The third chef was Yuki-San, (who's Japanese name is practically unpronounceable, let alone type-able. So we called him Yuki-San, A.K.A. "Bonny Donny!") He prepared food from Japan, and his ingredient of choice was Soy. (including soy bean, soy sprouts, soy milk and tofu in various flavours and firmness.) the starter was a shot of sake, He prepared several dishes including the staple sticky rice, a mushroom soup with soy milk, real shredded crab and shrimp served on deep fried tofu slices, and his dessert dish was a very soft tofu with a mild sweet almond flavouring and a leaf of this gorgeous lemon smelling leaf from some plant that neither Melissa or I can seem to remember the name of.
The fourth chef, was also Saxon style cooking, and his ingredient of choice was pork. He did up several dishes incorporating pork. Even the dessert dishes had pork pieces in them. I'm very particular about the cuts of meat I eat, because I can't eat fatty meats. I wish I had paid more attention to the kebob style dish that had turnips, pieces of pork and pieces of pork LIVER. I ended up popping a piece of liver in my mouth, and after my shock at finding out what it was after a few chews, remedied the situation very quickly. Namely by almost puking. I should have realized that Offal meant liver, but clued in after the fact, because I was distracted by good conversation.
Liver? No that's all right. I'd rather gnaw my arm, thanks.
I really felt that the Japanese chef had a slight disadvantage, not to his fault but the ingredients for the era of Japanese cuisine was quite limited. Nevertheless, Yuki-San was accepted as a Standing Eisen Chef, receiving a title in the SCA, a very nice handcrafted Sake shot glass and a shiny new handcrafted knife. Congratulations Bonny Donny!
He also got a good faceful of cleavage when I gave him a hug. I'm sure he wasn't disappointed.
Halfway through the second session of Eisen chef, some of the SCA members did medieval dance, and I recognized a few of the songs and dances from class but was too busy participating in the cooking competition. It was basically dinner entertainment. At the end of the competition, my corset was definitely tighter than usual.
I saw several one on one "battles" held by the Heavies, AKA the armoured swordfighters (and various and assorted other weaponry.) None with a naked blade, but with practice weapons. and also the "swishy-pokies" (Being the fencers.) I found the thud of the sword on a kite shield more satisfying out of the two styles, personally.
There was only ONE thing that I was disappointed about from the whole event, and it was regarding caste and societal status. Now, I'm merely a visitor to this event and not a member of the organization, but this did bother me. Hear me out.
I was standing with a few ladies in between Eisen Chef sessions, and out of the corner of my eye, noticed a woman who was from another visiting SCA Shire, accidentally slip and fall next to the "Duke of Eisenmarche."
Now the "Duke" being about 45 years of age, and fully capable of helping this woman to her feet, did nothing. He stood there and looked at her. I was appalled. I don't care what "status" you have in this society, but when someone falls, you help them up, and you make sure they are all right. Human beings are human beings. I probably don't have a right to say this, but in a society that bases itself on chivalry, I thought that was most unchivalrous.
Other than that. I had a good time. A very good time.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Recommended entertainment...
I was browsing a website, and honestly now, I don't remember what it was... It might've been porn, but I don't think so.
Anyways, I digress... It had a link for a UK site named Bad Gas. Its entertaining, slightly tasteless Brit humour. (The most entertaining type of tasteless humour, of course) And if you have half an hour to kill, it's fun to browse through. It teaches you things like how to do a "Lynndie," or how to start your own business as a "Money Church" or "Southern Chicken" joint.
This is the link.
And Devin sent me a link for Star magazine online. for the record breaking "Most nude people on a Roller Coaster." I like the stripper's white cowboy boots. This is the link.
All I can visualize is a lot of jiggling, slapping flesh. *shudders* Clothing does have it's protective purposes.
Anyways, I digress... It had a link for a UK site named Bad Gas. Its entertaining, slightly tasteless Brit humour. (The most entertaining type of tasteless humour, of course) And if you have half an hour to kill, it's fun to browse through. It teaches you things like how to do a "Lynndie," or how to start your own business as a "Money Church" or "Southern Chicken" joint.
This is the link.
And Devin sent me a link for Star magazine online. for the record breaking "Most nude people on a Roller Coaster." I like the stripper's white cowboy boots. This is the link.
All I can visualize is a lot of jiggling, slapping flesh. *shudders* Clothing does have it's protective purposes.
Wiggler!?! Live at Pat's Pub
Okay Kids,
Granted, I've never seen him perform live other than recorded on Video tape, because I've always had something planned the day he seems to have a performance. But I've heard stories. I've heard the stuff on CD. I have some stuff on CD, actually.
However, there IS an up and coming performance at Pat's Pub, for the Wigglemiester. Unfortunately, Erik isn't quite sure how much cover charge is, or exactly what time the show starts because it's all last minute to him too.
But! He does specify a day. It's this coming up Friday, the 10th of September. In other words, tommorrow, at Pat's Pub.
The address is 403 East Hastings street, Vancouver. The special for the evening is Fish and Chips.
Go support local talent! Go now! Okay, not now. GO Friday!
I would go, but I have a Medieval War I've promised to attend for the last month or so, and my dress is all picked out, paid for, and ready to turn me into a "Medieval Babe."
Anyways, that term (Medieval Babe) was bugging me until I figured out what movie it was that I watched incessantly as a child, that it was from. Now it's your turn to guess.
Pop quiz: What late 1980's movie is the term "Medieval Babe(s)" from?
Hint: "IRON MAIDEN?! AWESOME!" OR "Get down with your bad self!"
And it beats the hell out of watching "Cocktail" a million times as a kid like a few people I know.
Granted, I've never seen him perform live other than recorded on Video tape, because I've always had something planned the day he seems to have a performance. But I've heard stories. I've heard the stuff on CD. I have some stuff on CD, actually.
However, there IS an up and coming performance at Pat's Pub, for the Wigglemiester. Unfortunately, Erik isn't quite sure how much cover charge is, or exactly what time the show starts because it's all last minute to him too.
But! He does specify a day. It's this coming up Friday, the 10th of September. In other words, tommorrow, at Pat's Pub.
The address is 403 East Hastings street, Vancouver. The special for the evening is Fish and Chips.
Go support local talent! Go now! Okay, not now. GO Friday!
I would go, but I have a Medieval War I've promised to attend for the last month or so, and my dress is all picked out, paid for, and ready to turn me into a "Medieval Babe."
Anyways, that term (Medieval Babe) was bugging me until I figured out what movie it was that I watched incessantly as a child, that it was from. Now it's your turn to guess.
Pop quiz: What late 1980's movie is the term "Medieval Babe(s)" from?
Hint: "IRON MAIDEN?! AWESOME!" OR "Get down with your bad self!"
And it beats the hell out of watching "Cocktail" a million times as a kid like a few people I know.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
As an aside, some shamless promoting! (repost)
Just thought I would plug some Blogs/websites (again) of people I know, just for the hell of it.
An ex-boyfriend and good friend of mine Erik's website and Blog. Witty satire and Political thoughts, his opinion on obscure and not so obscure music, and also some of his own creative stewage. Thoughts from an intelli-punk Rocker.
www.wiggler.ca
Some other friends of mine, that I met through Erik are the Folks at M.U.F.T.I.the site is chock full of pictures, and exploits:
www.mufti.ca
A Spinoff of the M.U.F.T.I. crew, a fellow Glamazon, (She's actually the one that coined the term Glamazon.) the Ultrahonig, Allison.
Her site addy is:
www.honig.blogspot.com
Last but never least, Devin. (I've made amends with him. It's all good. Life is too fucking short to stay angry.)
His site is:
www.devinandmarty.com
An ex-boyfriend and good friend of mine Erik's website and Blog. Witty satire and Political thoughts, his opinion on obscure and not so obscure music, and also some of his own creative stewage. Thoughts from an intelli-punk Rocker.
"Love the sinner, but not the sin."His site addy is:
www.wiggler.ca
Some other friends of mine, that I met through Erik are the Folks at M.U.F.T.I.the site is chock full of pictures, and exploits:
www.mufti.ca
A Spinoff of the M.U.F.T.I. crew, a fellow Glamazon, (She's actually the one that coined the term Glamazon.) the Ultrahonig, Allison.
Her site addy is:
www.honig.blogspot.com
Last but never least, Devin. (I've made amends with him. It's all good. Life is too fucking short to stay angry.)
His site is:
www.devinandmarty.com
I think of him...
- Whenever I hear any song done by Outkast.
- Whenever I hear any song done by Tina Turner.
- Whenever I read my Anne Rice novels and get lost in visualizations of New Orleans.
- Whenever I think of Burritos.
- Whenever I log on to Yahoo.
- When Times are tough, and I'm feeling the loneliest I've ever been.
- Whenever I get tempted to fuck someone that means nothing to me... And I always end up turning them down, because I know what it would be like to be with someone that DID mean something to me.
- When the word "Indeed" comes up as a term of agreement in a conversation.
- Whenever someone retorts "front" when I come "back" from a break in a conversation online.
- When I'm falling asleep in bed.
- every single day.
Monday, September 06, 2004
The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth.
I just spent the entire day, helping my friend Crystal acquire an absolutely cum-worthy computer.
This thing has everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. It's nice. And I get to spend time on it helping her understand how to use it to it's full potential.
On the way home tonight, she actually unwittingly inspired this entry. We were talking about nerds or geeks. It inspired me so much, I actually couldn't fall asleep until I wrote it.
You hear the word "nerd/geek" and you think pencil necked, four-eyed, pocket protector, armpit high pant waist, nose buried in a book, basement bound, chat junkies with an addiction to "real" nude pictures of Britney Spears, or Allysa Milano, and Dungeon and Dragons. Rather like the "Revenge of the Nerds" heroes.
In essence, My first ex-boyfriend. (well minus the basement bound, but whatever. Close enough in comparison to make me laugh. At least NOW I can laugh at it.)
Nerds/geeks, are not limited to this. Nerds/geeks should not be confined within this classification. There is nothing wrong, with being one. I'm a geek. Pretty much everyone I know, and care about is one.
Nerds are intelligent. Often to the point of being misunderstood. Often to the point of becoming lost in themselves because THEY are having a hard time understanding themselves.
My most recent Ex-Boyfriend, Erik, is gorgeous, tattooed, and sharply dressed. He's also a Dungeons and Dragons playing, brilliant, politically savvy, intellipunk rocker. However, you would NEVER know how much of a nerd he was, from looking at him. True, you get into conversation with him, and if your IQ is less than... Oh, say, 120, and you're up Shit Creek without a paddle. You won't get half of his subtle jokes, and there is one in almost every single sentence he speaks. It's not to say that he's arrogant about his intelligence, quite the opposite... It's obvious from a five minute conversation with the man that he's very, VERY intelligent, and has a lot to say about the way the world works (or subsequently, doesn't...) However, you can chat with him on any subject, and have a satisfying conversation. GAD I love people that are born an Aquarius.
It's time to change that judging a book by it's cover nonsense.
I don't know exactly what the point of this is. Maybe it's just something that possessed me to write about it, but I have a soft spot for the geeks of the world. At least the ones that aren't so socially inept that conversation on a casual level, isn't completely impossible. I love an intelligent person. I love the fact that people, even though they love to tease the social underdogs of the world, still rely on Geek energy and ideas, for what they have so far.
I love the fact that I ALWAYS fall in love with a geek. I LOVE it because I am one, and I see my similarities in them. As much as I might get embarrassed if they are a little socially inept, it's the sweetness that lies underneath that dorky-ness, that charms me. It's the romance they crave, even if they don't know how to show it. It's the shy person they seem to be, hiding someone passionate inside. Or the people that embrace that passion and remain dorky, that delight me the most. It's the fact that the majority of them are lonely, Just like I am. Even if I have someone, I never forget what it's like to BE lonely.
I love the fact that my nerd loves me, as madly as this nerd loves him. I'm glad he's back, because I missed him fiercely.
This thing has everything. Every. Fucking. Thing. It's nice. And I get to spend time on it helping her understand how to use it to it's full potential.
On the way home tonight, she actually unwittingly inspired this entry. We were talking about nerds or geeks. It inspired me so much, I actually couldn't fall asleep until I wrote it.
You hear the word "nerd/geek" and you think pencil necked, four-eyed, pocket protector, armpit high pant waist, nose buried in a book, basement bound, chat junkies with an addiction to "real" nude pictures of Britney Spears, or Allysa Milano, and Dungeon and Dragons. Rather like the "Revenge of the Nerds" heroes.
In essence, My first ex-boyfriend. (well minus the basement bound, but whatever. Close enough in comparison to make me laugh. At least NOW I can laugh at it.)
Nerds/geeks, are not limited to this. Nerds/geeks should not be confined within this classification. There is nothing wrong, with being one. I'm a geek. Pretty much everyone I know, and care about is one.
Nerds are intelligent. Often to the point of being misunderstood. Often to the point of becoming lost in themselves because THEY are having a hard time understanding themselves.
My most recent Ex-Boyfriend, Erik, is gorgeous, tattooed, and sharply dressed. He's also a Dungeons and Dragons playing, brilliant, politically savvy, intellipunk rocker. However, you would NEVER know how much of a nerd he was, from looking at him. True, you get into conversation with him, and if your IQ is less than... Oh, say, 120, and you're up Shit Creek without a paddle. You won't get half of his subtle jokes, and there is one in almost every single sentence he speaks. It's not to say that he's arrogant about his intelligence, quite the opposite... It's obvious from a five minute conversation with the man that he's very, VERY intelligent, and has a lot to say about the way the world works (or subsequently, doesn't...) However, you can chat with him on any subject, and have a satisfying conversation. GAD I love people that are born an Aquarius.
It's time to change that judging a book by it's cover nonsense.
I don't know exactly what the point of this is. Maybe it's just something that possessed me to write about it, but I have a soft spot for the geeks of the world. At least the ones that aren't so socially inept that conversation on a casual level, isn't completely impossible. I love an intelligent person. I love the fact that people, even though they love to tease the social underdogs of the world, still rely on Geek energy and ideas, for what they have so far.
I love the fact that I ALWAYS fall in love with a geek. I LOVE it because I am one, and I see my similarities in them. As much as I might get embarrassed if they are a little socially inept, it's the sweetness that lies underneath that dorky-ness, that charms me. It's the romance they crave, even if they don't know how to show it. It's the shy person they seem to be, hiding someone passionate inside. Or the people that embrace that passion and remain dorky, that delight me the most. It's the fact that the majority of them are lonely, Just like I am. Even if I have someone, I never forget what it's like to BE lonely.
I love the fact that my nerd loves me, as madly as this nerd loves him. I'm glad he's back, because I missed him fiercely.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Tunes to Groove By... (Volume 4)
It's been ages since I've written a CD review. My bad. I know I've been threatening to do one on the new Big Sugar CD and Aretha Franklin CD I picked up, but I went on my trip, and quite honestly they slipped my mind.
However, I did get a new compilation CD today from Ryan, my old roomie. Ryan's got two monsters in creation, the "I Am Woman" compilation, and the one I've been drooling over that I got today which is mostly the more popular hits from the clubs around Vancouver, and around the world, since Ryan works for Princess Cruises and has been to clubs all over the flippin place...
So without further ado, here goes...
Ryan's "Slap 'Dat' Bitch" Mix. (Various Artists)
1. Beyonce -- "Naughty Girl"
Because I, love to love you baby. There's a few songs of hers on here. She's a damned good vocalist and she's uber foxy in this video. Aw hell, she's foxy all the damned time. I dig the fur, even If I would never wear the stuff. ( I lie. I have one hideous jacket with some sort of fur collar on it that was forced into my hands by my grandmother. Even though it's too short for my arms, and doesn't reach my wrists. Some winter jacket. Whatever. It's from the 60's. I'm not allowed to throw it out, so the fucking thing stays in my closet... But I digress...)
2. Nelly -- "Hot in Herre"
The roof, The roof, The roof is on fire...
I especially like the lyrics,
3. Beyonce and Sean Paul -- "Baby Boy"
Beyonce again. Ryan likes Beyonce. I think that's universal for all men. Straight or gay. Coincidentally enough most women like Sean Paul. *winks*
4. Pink/Annie Lennox(Eurythmics) -- "Get This Party Started vs. Sweet Dreams"
Originally, I was a little turned off by this song, its one of those musical amalgamations that are so hot lately, like the White Stripes "Seven Nation Army" mixed with those dudes rapping. Quite honestly, I don't even listen to the radio. I've heard it like three times. And that was at the club. I think this mix is pretty cool now, however seeing as I like both tunes.
5. Sean Paul -- "Get Busy"
Shake that thing miss.... Apparently he's saying women's names in the song. I couldn't tell you that for certain but Ryan swears he hears the name Jody and Rebecca. This song is VERY fun to dance to. It's a wicked mix of reggae style vocals with club beats.
5. Black Eyed Peas -- "Smells like Funk"
Ryan likes the Black Eyed Peas. So do I. This is actually one of my favourite songs on the Elephunk album. Aaah what am I saying. I like all of the songs on that album. Apart from the somewhat nasty lyrics in this one, which I kinda find amusing... But then again, I lived with my parents for 21 years, and my Dad, well... He's the king of bathroom humour.
6. Janet Jackson -- "You're so Vain"
I bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you, don't you?
A remake of the original song, with some funky beats and some cursing tossed in there. My favourite part is the clouds in my coffee line. It's just really neat visually to think of. Ever since I heard the original, whenever I put cream in my coffee, I hear this part of the damned song in my head.
7. Beyonce, featuring Jay-Z -- "Crazy in Love."
Beyonce again. And her ultra bling blinged boyfriend, the Hoover himself, mistah Jay-Z. I like this song. But not as much as Beyonce's other stuff. I read in a magazine, that Beyonce said this beat was "So hard it hurt." I disagree. I've heard Missy Elliot do harder shit than this to be quite honest.
8. Christina Aguilera -- "Dirty"
DIRTY, FILTHY, NASTY. Words usually associated negatively with women. To be quite honest, I respect Christina loads more than Britney. I dunno why. Perhaps because she was never afraid to be herself, even if that involved wearing chaps and boycut panties in a video. Whereas I had this huge love/hate thing with Britney, when she was this sex symbol as a 16 year old, and proclaimed herself a virgin when she was dating one of the "Sexiest Male Artists." Yeah fucking right. Tell us another one Brit.
I also think that Christina is Far more talented than Britney.
9. Britney Spears -- "Toxic"
After my rant about not liking Brit, I kinda feel like an arse saying I love this song. But whatever. I LOVE this song. It's so "James Bond." I can't describe it any other way. This song was one of the reasons why I was so eager to get a copy of this compilation from Ryan.
That, and I could TOTALLY see peelers doing their thing to this song.
10. Pink -- "Get this Party Started" (original version)
A great song to get ready to go out with, or just to hype yourself up with in general. Full of confidence and sass. I have this song on two other compilations that were burned for me.
The first time I ever heard this song, was the first time I ever went to a strip bar. Yeesh. Not my fondest memory, but definitely a humorous one.
11. Cher -- "(This Is a) Song for The Lonely"
Cher, Queen of power anthems. This song has depressing lyrics, uplifting lyrics and a very fast beat. It's one of those ones that Ryan classifies as
12. Usher (Featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris) -- "Yeah"
Fuck. I LOVE THIS SONG. Love it! Everything about it. I can't specify exactly what. It just kicks ass.
13. Pink -- "Real Love"
This is an older Pink song, about independence and how "Shorty got a job, shorty got a car, shorty can pay her own rent." And how she doesn't want a man with money, or a car, or any of that shit. Just a man that can show her real love.
14. Ice Cube -- "Do It."
Okay, I liked this song. I liked it a year and a half ago. But I have this song on THREE mixed CD's. I'm tired of it now.
Well. I do like that slapping sound that replaces the word "ass" in this version.
15. Black Eyed Peas -- "Hey Mama"
Cow bells start it off. Can it get any cooler? Yes. Yes it can. Toss some Crazy Grandma organ playing in the background and your fucking set. This song is fun to dance to.
16. Black Eyed Peas -- *Shut Up"
Another wicked tune. I only have myself to blame for putting this CD into the car stereo when Ryan was in it, and played this song REPEATEDLY for the entire drive from Vancouver, to Burnaby, New Westminster, Coquitlam, Port Moody, and back to Coquitlam again on the hunt for fireworks on Canada Day. He purchased it two days later.
In all actuality, the B.E.P. CD was in my discman on the way to work a few months ago, and I actually did a spin or two on the way up to the store from the Skytrain. I'm sure the people watching the surveillance cameras got a kick out of that at seven thirty AM on a Sunday.
17. Destiny's Child -- "Say My Name"
Surprise! Beyonce! I can't help but think of American Pie when I hear that phrase...
18. Black Eyed Peas -- "Let's Get Retarded"
Let's get retarded! (HA!)
I love saying the HA! Part wheezing like an old man. *shrugs* what can I say. I AM a dork after all..
All in all this is a VERY good CD, for Pop/Hip-Hop music. I kinda wish the B.E.P. and Beyonce stuff was a bit more spread out, but that's just a minor thing. I'm super stoked that there is "Toxic" and "Yeah" on there. If I could replace one song from there, with something that hasnt been played on the radio yet, at least not to my knowledge it would probably be switching "Hey Mama" with another B.E.P. song called "The Boogie That Be."
C'est Fin.
However, I did get a new compilation CD today from Ryan, my old roomie. Ryan's got two monsters in creation, the "I Am Woman" compilation, and the one I've been drooling over that I got today which is mostly the more popular hits from the clubs around Vancouver, and around the world, since Ryan works for Princess Cruises and has been to clubs all over the flippin place...
So without further ado, here goes...
Ryan's "Slap 'Dat' Bitch" Mix. (Various Artists)
1. Beyonce -- "Naughty Girl"
Because I, love to love you baby. There's a few songs of hers on here. She's a damned good vocalist and she's uber foxy in this video. Aw hell, she's foxy all the damned time. I dig the fur, even If I would never wear the stuff. ( I lie. I have one hideous jacket with some sort of fur collar on it that was forced into my hands by my grandmother. Even though it's too short for my arms, and doesn't reach my wrists. Some winter jacket. Whatever. It's from the 60's. I'm not allowed to throw it out, so the fucking thing stays in my closet... But I digress...)
2. Nelly -- "Hot in Herre"
The roof, The roof, The roof is on fire...
I especially like the lyrics,
while your dancing in front of the mirror when your on the phone, checkin your reflection and tellin' your best friend "Girl, I think my butt gettin' big."Because quite honestly, I think I've said that way too often.
3. Beyonce and Sean Paul -- "Baby Boy"
4. Pink/Annie Lennox(Eurythmics) -- "Get This Party Started vs. Sweet Dreams"
Originally, I was a little turned off by this song, its one of those musical amalgamations that are so hot lately, like the White Stripes "Seven Nation Army" mixed with those dudes rapping. Quite honestly, I don't even listen to the radio. I've heard it like three times. And that was at the club. I think this mix is pretty cool now, however seeing as I like both tunes.
5. Sean Paul -- "Get Busy"
Shake that thing miss.... Apparently he's saying women's names in the song. I couldn't tell you that for certain but Ryan swears he hears the name Jody and Rebecca. This song is VERY fun to dance to. It's a wicked mix of reggae style vocals with club beats.
5. Black Eyed Peas -- "Smells like Funk"
Ryan likes the Black Eyed Peas. So do I. This is actually one of my favourite songs on the Elephunk album. Aaah what am I saying. I like all of the songs on that album. Apart from the somewhat nasty lyrics in this one, which I kinda find amusing... But then again, I lived with my parents for 21 years, and my Dad, well... He's the king of bathroom humour.
6. Janet Jackson -- "You're so Vain"
I bet you think this song is about you, don't you, don't you, don't you?
A remake of the original song, with some funky beats and some cursing tossed in there. My favourite part is the clouds in my coffee line. It's just really neat visually to think of. Ever since I heard the original, whenever I put cream in my coffee, I hear this part of the damned song in my head.
7. Beyonce, featuring Jay-Z -- "Crazy in Love."
Beyonce again. And her ultra bling blinged boyfriend, the Hoover himself, mistah Jay-Z. I like this song. But not as much as Beyonce's other stuff. I read in a magazine, that Beyonce said this beat was "So hard it hurt." I disagree. I've heard Missy Elliot do harder shit than this to be quite honest.
8. Christina Aguilera -- "Dirty"
DIRTY, FILTHY, NASTY. Words usually associated negatively with women. To be quite honest, I respect Christina loads more than Britney. I dunno why. Perhaps because she was never afraid to be herself, even if that involved wearing chaps and boycut panties in a video. Whereas I had this huge love/hate thing with Britney, when she was this sex symbol as a 16 year old, and proclaimed herself a virgin when she was dating one of the "Sexiest Male Artists." Yeah fucking right. Tell us another one Brit.
I also think that Christina is Far more talented than Britney.
9. Britney Spears -- "Toxic"
After my rant about not liking Brit, I kinda feel like an arse saying I love this song. But whatever. I LOVE this song. It's so "James Bond." I can't describe it any other way. This song was one of the reasons why I was so eager to get a copy of this compilation from Ryan.
That, and I could TOTALLY see peelers doing their thing to this song.
10. Pink -- "Get this Party Started" (original version)
A great song to get ready to go out with, or just to hype yourself up with in general. Full of confidence and sass. I have this song on two other compilations that were burned for me.
The first time I ever heard this song, was the first time I ever went to a strip bar. Yeesh. Not my fondest memory, but definitely a humorous one.
11. Cher -- "(This Is a) Song for The Lonely"
Cher, Queen of power anthems. This song has depressing lyrics, uplifting lyrics and a very fast beat. It's one of those ones that Ryan classifies as
"The ones that make you want to kill yourself, but your happy about it!"
12. Usher (Featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris) -- "Yeah"
Fuck. I LOVE THIS SONG. Love it! Everything about it. I can't specify exactly what. It just kicks ass.
13. Pink -- "Real Love"
This is an older Pink song, about independence and how "Shorty got a job, shorty got a car, shorty can pay her own rent." And how she doesn't want a man with money, or a car, or any of that shit. Just a man that can show her real love.
14. Ice Cube -- "Do It."
Okay, I liked this song. I liked it a year and a half ago. But I have this song on THREE mixed CD's. I'm tired of it now.
Well. I do like that slapping sound that replaces the word "ass" in this version.
15. Black Eyed Peas -- "Hey Mama"
Cow bells start it off. Can it get any cooler? Yes. Yes it can. Toss some Crazy Grandma organ playing in the background and your fucking set. This song is fun to dance to.
16. Black Eyed Peas -- *Shut Up"
Another wicked tune. I only have myself to blame for putting this CD into the car stereo when Ryan was in it, and played this song REPEATEDLY for the entire drive from Vancouver, to Burnaby, New Westminster, Coquitlam, Port Moody, and back to Coquitlam again on the hunt for fireworks on Canada Day. He purchased it two days later.
In all actuality, the B.E.P. CD was in my discman on the way to work a few months ago, and I actually did a spin or two on the way up to the store from the Skytrain. I'm sure the people watching the surveillance cameras got a kick out of that at seven thirty AM on a Sunday.
17. Destiny's Child -- "Say My Name"
Surprise! Beyonce! I can't help but think of American Pie when I hear that phrase...
18. Black Eyed Peas -- "Let's Get Retarded"
Let's get retarded! (HA!)
I love saying the HA! Part wheezing like an old man. *shrugs* what can I say. I AM a dork after all..
All in all this is a VERY good CD, for Pop/Hip-Hop music. I kinda wish the B.E.P. and Beyonce stuff was a bit more spread out, but that's just a minor thing. I'm super stoked that there is "Toxic" and "Yeah" on there. If I could replace one song from there, with something that hasnt been played on the radio yet, at least not to my knowledge it would probably be switching "Hey Mama" with another B.E.P. song called "The Boogie That Be."
C'est Fin.
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