Hot? Not.

A couple of days ago, I decided to accept a double match on Hot or Not, from a man that posted his profile that I found intreguing. His profile said this:

35, married with children. That was married, not dead. I still like to talk to people. Looking for other tattoo or piercing lovers, that aren't afraid to show them. Friends only. What I wouldn't give for an intelligent conversation.

Now, being a lover of tattoos, piercings and other forms of body modification, I thought, "Sure, why not, he seems harmless." only to receive an email this afternoon from him that said:

"Can I see you naked?"

This was the first email he sent me. No signature, not even manners.

Tsk.

My response was as follows:

No.

Or not until you can break down your "Can I see you naked?" inquiry into a logical analysis that either proves or disproves your question using boolean operators.

(Let me explain... You used the word "Can" instead of "May".)

Technically, it is possible given the refraction of light and our optic nerves' sensitivity to same. Granted, based on where you are, you might require a series of mirrors.

Or I could just tell you to fuck off, and learn some tact.

How this equates to discussing tattoos, piercings and "Friends" (Though, how you define "friends" eludes me...) and asking to see a picture of my tattoo's MIGHT have garnered you a glimpse at flesh, considering they cover most of my back, perhaps after a few emails. Unfortunately, you didn't couch your words in the right phrasing, opting for a more direct approach. A pity.

I clicked yes to "meet" you, because I was interested in the "friend" aspect of what you were saying. If you wanted intelligent conversation, you picked the right girl. IF you wanted two-bit whores flaunting their goodies on webcam or other digital imagery, try another train. This one is all full up. I'm not swoony and fawning over you because of your tattoos or shiny dome, I was interested in genuine conversation with a tattoo/piercing enthusiast like myself.

Show some respect to your wife. She had the patience to have you rutting between her thighs and then popping out a kid for you nine months later. Perhaps some gratitude is in order.

Not all the chicks on Hot or Not are whores, and not all of them randomly flash nude pictures of themselves to complete strangers within the first exchange of email corrospondance. Perhaps you should learn that first, before whipping it out of your trousers.

If you find this harsh, or uncalled for, I'm not apologizing. I found your request both crass and definitely unappreciated.

Cheers.

~L~

I suppose I could've just said "I dunno, can you?" and be done with it, but this was much more satisfying.

Gad, I'm a bitch sometimes.