Sicker than a dog!
1. How often do you get sick?
I get sick about twice a year. Usually I'm whalloped by a cold in the beginning of January, right after I think I've avoided the current flu/cold of the season. It hits me hard, usually with a really nasty barking cough and a headache. I also find I'm attacked by my annual bout of tonsillitis in April. Other than that, I'm fairly healthy throughout the year.
This obviously doesn't include hangovers, which are much more prolific in amounts than actual, certified "illnesses".
2. Do you take a lot of over the counter medicine?
I'm a big fan of Advil (as I've stated numerous times) and also Neo-citran, which to my shock, isn't available in the United States. It's the best shit EVER for a cold! Ever! There's nothing like powdered tylenol, honey and lemon, a decongestant AND a sleep aid mixed with hot water. Holy Christ. This stuff knocks you out faster than NyQuil©.
3. Have you ever been in the hospital for an extended period of time?
No, (lucky for me.) I despise hospitals. I will, however, stay by someone's bedside for as long as possible when they are hospitalized.
4. Are there any diseases that run in your family?
Cancer runs very high in my family. As does Diabetes. This does not bode well for the smoking, chubby Linds.
5. What is the best remedy for the common cold?
Sleep! Water! Advil! Neo-Citran! Whining! Repeat until healthy.
Muh feets is itchin'!
1. You have the summer and plenty of money to travel abroad. Where all would you go?
Ooooh baby, Linds is going to a bunch of "new" places: New Orleans, New York City, New Brunswick, New Zealand, Nova Scotia (To visit the rest of the Linds kin) Austrailia, Dallas, England, Scotland, Ireland... Wait. I only have the summer? Damn. Fuck that. I'm going for a year. With unlimited funds!!!
2. What foods would you be sure you got to eat?
Food? Hell, anything cooked, anything unique, and anything that doesn't have the viscosity of a Sunny side up egg. (Eww.)
3. What landmarks would you be sure you got to see?
The Statue of Liberty (NY), Bourbon Street (NO), Sydney Harbour (AUS.) pretty much anything in New Zealand, all of my relatives in Nova Scotia (Trust me, we're landmark worthy, a huge section of the population in Nova Scotia is related to me in one way or another.)
4. What airline would you use?
One that doesn't crash. Preferably First class. that'd be sweet. Other than that, I don't give a flying fuck.
5. Would your knowledge of other languages influence where you went? (i.e. would you be more likely to go to France if you spoke French?)
My french is mediocre at best, (Although, I'm good at faking an accent.) And though I'm learning the basics of Spanish thanks to a fellow student of mine, I'm by no means a cunning linguist. The same can't be said for some of my ex-bf's who are cunning linguists indeed. Erik knows latin, and has been known to make me babble in tongues. (LOL! I can't believe I'm writing that... It's too funny to resist.) Other than that, I think I'm pretty much screwed and stuck in mostly English speaking places.
Gah! Emotions are for the birds!
1. What made you happy this week?
Happiness is a yellow fish. Uhm, no, okay seriously then... I spoke to The Mayor on the phone, and he had me laughing. Those caaaarazy Ontario boys sure are funny. I finally got to see Granville Island Market for the first time in my life. It was neat.
2. What made you sad?
This week was an emotional disaster. I'm not going to get into it.
3. What made you angry?
Hrm. quite a few things. I've been having some serious thoughts about having to deal with regarding something pretty private, so it's been a veritable hayday for my thoughts/emotions/DISASTER! DISASTER!/chaos/crying on the phone to my dad/talking to a bunch of people. It's all good. Okay, not really but whatever, I'll manage. It's amazing what a Venti Extra Sweet Vanilla Latte from Starbucks© will do.
4. What are you looking forward to in the next week?
Spending some time with a very good friend who I haven't seen in a while on Friday. Getting an hour long swedish massage on Wednesday. Having more skills taught to me in class, in particular Flash, Dreamweaver and Final Cut Pro. The possibility of my income tax return arriving this week in the mail. (Purdy, purdy puhleese!! By Tuesday would be just peachy, thanks Mister Postman.)
5. What are you not looking forward to?
Uhhh. More homework. I didn't really get to see the sunshine at all this weekend, and it was stunning outside. Damn. I'm also not looking forward to having to deal with previously mentioned hellacious issues mentioned from last week, this week. *sigh*
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Music Is My Heroin... Tunes To Groove By Version 1.0
Beastie Boys -- "The In Sound From Way Out!"
Album: "The In Sound From Way Out!"
Genre: Rap and Hip Hop, Funk, Ambiant, Rhythm and Groove.
(A brief review for Y'all, I know it's been ages since I've gone and written one.)
What happens when you cross three Jewish New Yorkers that started off as alternative musicians that decide to make fun of rap, that find out they love it, and that they can become exceedingly wealthy because of it? You get the Beastie Boys.
What happens after nearly a decade of them rapping, becoming bored of rapping for the moment, and then deciding to create an entire instrumental album mixing up Funk, Hip-Hop, ambiant, Rhythm and Groove, Latin and a myriad of other genres? You get "The In Sound From Way Out!"
Wow. This album was a shocker to me, and to be quite honest, I didn't even know it existed until this afternoon, when I let my iPod take control and play through my recently added music. It's a well known fact that I have over 420 albums (3983 songs and counting.) in my iTunes Music Library, (aptly enough, I renamed it "The Glamazon Shoe Discotheque") and most of the time, my music is playing in the background while I'm doing assignments, homework, or slapped over my ears via iPod while I'm on public transit, nose deep in a novel. Typically nothing can shake me from my novel, and my music is normally pleasant distracting and nullifying noise from the rest of the poor shmucks like myself that take transit to and from work/school. (Have I mentioned, dear readers, that I hate people? I do.)
At any rate, this album was enough to shake me out of the revelrie that is my fantasy novel and make me pay attention, with clever beats, soulful funky guitar, and a sexy drawling bass line that had my nips up at arms. Half of the time, it's what I've just desribed, and the other half of the time, this album is a mixture of The Philosopher Kings, Earth Wind and Fire, Sly and the Family Stone (minus the vocals) and that damned background music CD that TJP plays at every party she hosts by St. Germaine called "Tourist".(I love it, don't be fooled by my brash words.) Toss in some very ambiant, almost Enigma/Delerium style tunes, and you've got "The In Sound From Way Out!" I'm always on the lookout for great instrumental albums to do my work to, and as far as I could tell, this entire album wasn't really sampled pieces as much as original instrumental pieces played by the boys themselves, which increases my respect for them as musicians threefold.
Highly enjoyable, and very much recommended, I Give the Beastie Boys "The In Sound From Way Out" 4.5/5 Glamazon Shoes.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
I DARE you!
I got this via The Jewish Princess in an email. I was laughing very, VERY hard.
Warning. Don't read this if you work in a staid, conservative work environment where you are expected to y'know... Work.
Things I've done are in bold type.
ONE-POINT DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
TWO POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go
hungry again."
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you...
How to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." (MY DAD has said this to me. Fucker.)
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." (Okay, not ALL of them, but some at least.)
7) Dont use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." (I've also said, "No thanks, I'll wear it out." When buying a chocolate bar and the cashier asks me if I want a plastic bag.)
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Whoever wrote this, is fucking brilliant.
Warning. Don't read this if you work in a staid, conservative work environment where you are expected to y'know... Work.
Things I've done are in bold type.
OFFICE STUNTS
ONE-POINT DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
TWO POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go
hungry again."
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you...
How to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." (MY DAD has said this to me. Fucker.)
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." (Okay, not ALL of them, but some at least.)
7) Dont use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." (I've also said, "No thanks, I'll wear it out." When buying a chocolate bar and the cashier asks me if I want a plastic bag.)
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Whoever wrote this, is fucking brilliant.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Material Safety Data Sheets on Women.
I must thank Melissa for sending me this in an email. I laughed and laughed. I especially love the section "Ranges from virgin materials to Common ores. Very very clever play on words.
I seem to be getting all the funny emails today.
I seem to be getting all the funny emails today.
Neat!
Linds, when it comes to psychic abilities, you have an unusually strong talent in the area of Precognition
Oh Sisters!
Who says nuns don't have a sense of humour? I got this in an email and burst out laughing. I particularly enjoy the guy checking out their "gams". Priceless. I want those barstools.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Like Sands Through The Hourglass...
Album Of the Moment: Eric Clapton -- Songs compiled from "Cream of Clapton", "Eric Clapton Unplugged" and various Eric Clapton and Friends performing together.
Restless again, and avoiding doing my assignments. A foolish decision, really, considering how much I pay for my education; yes, I realize I chastised the hell out of students that do likewise in a prior entry in Glamazon Shoes. That being said, I'm not in the right frame of mind to actually sit down and create. believe it or not, it takes a certain mentality to sit here and make something out of nothing, and right now I'm too distracted to do anything of the sort. This isn't the typical write an essay based on what Chaucer wrote without plaigerizing. (Christ, I am a snob, aren't I?)
Life revolves around Venti Vanilla Latte's, Iced Tea, cigarettes and chocolate. That, and coming to the conclusion that too much caffeine makes me grouchy, and not enough of it turns me into a zombie. I've come to the conclusion that I'm the virtual equivalent of a booty call for a couple of people, (All men whose names start with D, I'm not referring to you, so relax.) and I really don't like it all that much.
I'm proverbially balls deep listening to blues music and classic rock lately, which is probably shocking to some of my readers. Yes. I like music that is older than I am. That era produced music that was actually GOOD. Review THIS! Fizzled, spat, and died a horrid tragic death, due to no traffic, and I'm not terribly thrilled over that development. Such is life. I'm thinking I'm going to post music reviews in Glamazon Shoes, and toss up a copy of it on Review THIS! for the helluvit.
Spring is in the air, and I'm getting hit on like mad. I really couldn't care less. Sure, it's flattering and all, but I only want one man.
*Grumbles*
Restless again, and avoiding doing my assignments. A foolish decision, really, considering how much I pay for my education; yes, I realize I chastised the hell out of students that do likewise in a prior entry in Glamazon Shoes. That being said, I'm not in the right frame of mind to actually sit down and create. believe it or not, it takes a certain mentality to sit here and make something out of nothing, and right now I'm too distracted to do anything of the sort. This isn't the typical write an essay based on what Chaucer wrote without plaigerizing. (Christ, I am a snob, aren't I?)
Life revolves around Venti Vanilla Latte's, Iced Tea, cigarettes and chocolate. That, and coming to the conclusion that too much caffeine makes me grouchy, and not enough of it turns me into a zombie. I've come to the conclusion that I'm the virtual equivalent of a booty call for a couple of people, (All men whose names start with D, I'm not referring to you, so relax.) and I really don't like it all that much.
I'm proverbially balls deep listening to blues music and classic rock lately, which is probably shocking to some of my readers. Yes. I like music that is older than I am. That era produced music that was actually GOOD. Review THIS! Fizzled, spat, and died a horrid tragic death, due to no traffic, and I'm not terribly thrilled over that development. Such is life. I'm thinking I'm going to post music reviews in Glamazon Shoes, and toss up a copy of it on Review THIS! for the helluvit.
Spring is in the air, and I'm getting hit on like mad. I really couldn't care less. Sure, it's flattering and all, but I only want one man.
*Grumbles*
To The Men That Only Love Models...
Look at how badly you're being scammed.
Photoshop is a great tool. Go ahead, roll the cursor over the pictures you've selected, do it repeatedly, look over every inch of the picture.
Yeah they might look smokin', but rest assured they're as real as you and I.
I hope that shattered some illusions.
Photoshop is a great tool. Go ahead, roll the cursor over the pictures you've selected, do it repeatedly, look over every inch of the picture.
Yeah they might look smokin', but rest assured they're as real as you and I.
I hope that shattered some illusions.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
"What, Did You BUY Your License?"
Album of the Moment: B.B. King -- "Why I Sing The Blues"
I've seen more car accidents and police pullovers in an hour-long span today than in the past week.
I don't know if it's the near torrential downpours that we've been having (seriously, an inch and a half of rain in 45 minutes last night.) Or the fact that more and more people have forgotten how to drive considering the gorgeous weather we had for the month of February, but I saw three car accidents and four police interventions today alone. Perhaps the cops are bored and mildly bitter, what with it being a long weekend and them having to stick around and, y'know, WORK.
I remember one time, coming back from the University of Santa Cruz in California. I was attending a conference on feminism, and giving a couple of lectures for the weekend that I was there. Santa Cruz University, in my humble opinion, is the most gorgeous campus I've seen in my life. Perhaps it's not so much the buildings, but you can't go wrong being in the California sunshine, with the beach walking distance (less than half a mile and very VERY visible) and an entire town based around the students and supplying what they want for luxuries. I was seven shades of green in jealousy over my political comrades educational digs.
I recall driving down the mountain with the person I had gone up there with, and it had started to rain for the first time in months. I saw five car accidents on the way to San Francisco International Airport, and was praying in my head that it wasn't an omen of how my flight was going to work out. That's how I felt today, in the car with Crystal on the way back from Old Navy. (I picked up a pretty bathing suit! Whoo!)
On another note...
I'm feeling pretty lost inside myself. I'm sure it's somewhat apparent in my posts, of which I've been prolific in writing. That's a sign that I'm uneasy in my head, I write like mad. Unfortunately my readers take the journey along with me.
I'm dissapointed in myself lately, and as much as I want to be a better person, I feel like I'm failing. It's hard to explain. I was thinking earlier, that I wanted to eventually be someone's pretty, intelligent, indisposable, strong partner in life. I'm definitely feeling disposable lately. (To no ones fault really but my own mentality.) I want to be someone's eye in the storm, that sheltered lull amidst chaos where they can find some relief. But more than that, I want to be the eye of my OWN storm. If that makes sense. I want to find that calm place inside myself where I can be my own peace, if I can't find it with anyone else, that I can return to when I'm feeling too overwhelmed. Truthfully, that's where I SHOULD be looking is in myself first. Right now all I feel is that I'm muddling around trying to make sense of it all. I'm sure, that I'm going to find out that after all this internal struggle it will be this epiphany of self-discovery, but fuck, I hate the process. It's not a deep pit of despair, and it's not this overwhelming feeling of depression, but it's somewhere in there, and I know that if I can find that place in me, I'll be fine. I just have to figure out where the hell it is first.
I've seen more car accidents and police pullovers in an hour-long span today than in the past week.
I don't know if it's the near torrential downpours that we've been having (seriously, an inch and a half of rain in 45 minutes last night.) Or the fact that more and more people have forgotten how to drive considering the gorgeous weather we had for the month of February, but I saw three car accidents and four police interventions today alone. Perhaps the cops are bored and mildly bitter, what with it being a long weekend and them having to stick around and, y'know, WORK.
I remember one time, coming back from the University of Santa Cruz in California. I was attending a conference on feminism, and giving a couple of lectures for the weekend that I was there. Santa Cruz University, in my humble opinion, is the most gorgeous campus I've seen in my life. Perhaps it's not so much the buildings, but you can't go wrong being in the California sunshine, with the beach walking distance (less than half a mile and very VERY visible) and an entire town based around the students and supplying what they want for luxuries. I was seven shades of green in jealousy over my political comrades educational digs.
I recall driving down the mountain with the person I had gone up there with, and it had started to rain for the first time in months. I saw five car accidents on the way to San Francisco International Airport, and was praying in my head that it wasn't an omen of how my flight was going to work out. That's how I felt today, in the car with Crystal on the way back from Old Navy. (I picked up a pretty bathing suit! Whoo!)
On another note...
I'm feeling pretty lost inside myself. I'm sure it's somewhat apparent in my posts, of which I've been prolific in writing. That's a sign that I'm uneasy in my head, I write like mad. Unfortunately my readers take the journey along with me.
I'm dissapointed in myself lately, and as much as I want to be a better person, I feel like I'm failing. It's hard to explain. I was thinking earlier, that I wanted to eventually be someone's pretty, intelligent, indisposable, strong partner in life. I'm definitely feeling disposable lately. (To no ones fault really but my own mentality.) I want to be someone's eye in the storm, that sheltered lull amidst chaos where they can find some relief. But more than that, I want to be the eye of my OWN storm. If that makes sense. I want to find that calm place inside myself where I can be my own peace, if I can't find it with anyone else, that I can return to when I'm feeling too overwhelmed. Truthfully, that's where I SHOULD be looking is in myself first. Right now all I feel is that I'm muddling around trying to make sense of it all. I'm sure, that I'm going to find out that after all this internal struggle it will be this epiphany of self-discovery, but fuck, I hate the process. It's not a deep pit of despair, and it's not this overwhelming feeling of depression, but it's somewhere in there, and I know that if I can find that place in me, I'll be fine. I just have to figure out where the hell it is first.
"Something Is Afoot At The Circle K."
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Ants Shmants...
Music of the Moment: Van Morrison Greatest Hits.
See, I'm a big sucker.
Let me clarify. I'm not talking about my oral fixation, (At least not this time around anyways.) I'm talking about the times when I'm a huge suck and feel sympathy for things/animals/people that don't necessarily deserve my sympathy. Like wasps, or the surly dog that's been mistreated and barks at you, the one mouse I had a battle with in my apartment, that I cried over when I found it dying from rat poison on my bedroom floor after work one day, or the homeless people that pretend to cry to scam people when they make about 20 bucks an hour. (The latter is a story I can get into another time.) or even, ants.
Granted, I don't like ants. They eat my food, crawl all over stuff, and multiply like mad. They sneak into a multitude of nooks and crannys, being so small, all that annoying stuff.
But imagine if you will, the viewpoint of an ant. Just for a moment.
Imagine living in a world where your only desire was to bring some big ol' fat demanding bitch of queen food, day in and day out, where you are prey to a multitude of gory, untimely deaths. The pink skinned things that sound like thunder and kill so many of our kind carelessly with the flat huge things on the ends of their legs, and it depends on your location. Imagine a world where you only live about three weeks to a month on average, because the lady she bitch wants that sugary goodness and all you're purpose in life is, is to make that female happy.
The elder ants, terrorize you from day one of hatching, with horror stories of "The Size 13 Shoe", and "The Evil Screechy Sparrow" and such stories along those lines. They tell you about the sweet tasting stuff that the pink skinned things dripped onto the ground, that tasted good, but devistated the entire colony in the house three doors down. About the prepubescent male pink skinned thing that tortured the colony with it's glass round thing on the sunshine days.
Barbarian pink skinned bastards.
Okay, and you're wondering what drugs I'm on right now. The answer is none. I'm just unhappy in my head and heart right now, and I'm trying to distract myself. It didn't really work all that well unfortunately. *sighs*
See, I'm a big sucker.
Let me clarify. I'm not talking about my oral fixation, (At least not this time around anyways.) I'm talking about the times when I'm a huge suck and feel sympathy for things/animals/people that don't necessarily deserve my sympathy. Like wasps, or the surly dog that's been mistreated and barks at you, the one mouse I had a battle with in my apartment, that I cried over when I found it dying from rat poison on my bedroom floor after work one day, or the homeless people that pretend to cry to scam people when they make about 20 bucks an hour. (The latter is a story I can get into another time.) or even, ants.
Granted, I don't like ants. They eat my food, crawl all over stuff, and multiply like mad. They sneak into a multitude of nooks and crannys, being so small, all that annoying stuff.
But imagine if you will, the viewpoint of an ant. Just for a moment.
Imagine living in a world where your only desire was to bring some big ol' fat demanding bitch of queen food, day in and day out, where you are prey to a multitude of gory, untimely deaths. The pink skinned things that sound like thunder and kill so many of our kind carelessly with the flat huge things on the ends of their legs, and it depends on your location. Imagine a world where you only live about three weeks to a month on average, because the lady she bitch wants that sugary goodness and all you're purpose in life is, is to make that female happy.
The elder ants, terrorize you from day one of hatching, with horror stories of "The Size 13 Shoe", and "The Evil Screechy Sparrow" and such stories along those lines. They tell you about the sweet tasting stuff that the pink skinned things dripped onto the ground, that tasted good, but devistated the entire colony in the house three doors down. About the prepubescent male pink skinned thing that tortured the colony with it's glass round thing on the sunshine days.
Barbarian pink skinned bastards.
Okay, and you're wondering what drugs I'm on right now. The answer is none. I'm just unhappy in my head and heart right now, and I'm trying to distract myself. It didn't really work all that well unfortunately. *sighs*
"Emotional Girl"
Lyrics from a country (Country?!) song I heard on the radio today. Yes indeed, I do enjoy a good country song occasionally, slapping my knee and doing some line dancing and all that rot. This one is fitting for me.
"Emotional Girl" by Terri Clark
I've been looking at you looking me.
Bet you're thinking that what you get is what you see
But underneath this cool exterior, a raging river flows.
So before you get any nearer, I better let you know.
I'm an emotional girl,
I can't help myself.
Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry,
Sometimes I do both and I don't know why.
I got a passionate heart,
An' that's just the way things are.
You an' me could give it a whirl but I'm warning you, boy:
I'm an emotional girl.
I like music that's loud an' lights down low.
I like drivin' my car too fast an' dancin' slow.
Some folks may say I'm too extreme 'cause I can't stop once I start.
But I never could do anything with half my heart.
I'm an emotional girl,
I can't help myself.
Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry,
Sometimes I do both and I don't know why.
Got a passionate heart,
An' that's just the way things are.
You an' me could give it a whirl but I'm warning you, boy:
I'm an emotional girl.
Instrumental Break.
I'm an emotional girl,
I can't help myself.
Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry,
Sometimes I do both and I don't know why.
Got a passionate heart,
An' that's just the way things are.
You an' me could give it a whirl but I'm warning you, boy:
I'm an emotional girl.
Yeah, you an' me could give it a whirl but I'm warning you, boy:
I'm an emotional girl.
Borrowed Quotes...
I read a book about six months ago in December, after a particularly nasty bout with a loser of a boyfriend I dated for a grand total of a month and a week for the duration of the Christmas holidays. It fizzled remarkably fast, and I began to notice a trend in some male behaviour, especially regarding the below quoted material in particular.
The book is entitled "He's Just Not That Into You." Normally I deplore any sort of relationship "guru" style books that pop up on the literature market, especially when written by two of the writers from the television programme Sex In The City. I greeted this book's debut with scorn and a sneer before I started feeling... Well... I guess like I was putting more into my relationship than anyone in their right mind should be putting into it and getting NOTHING in return. I picked it up, in a fit of disgruntlement and the need to figure out just what the FUCK goes on in the heads of men. It was a last resort attempt to get some help. In ways I'm glad I bought it and read it, and in other ways it's a stinging reminder of the failures I've had in some of my past, and current relationships.
It's a difficult thing to swallow, that burgeoning pride that we develop as we mature. We would rather surround ourselves in cushiony lies and half truths, when deep inside we know the truth and we would rather not accept it. It's such a fucking hard lesson.
I read it in three hours, cover to cover. Granted, I disagreed with SOME of the stuff written in it, and I believe I went so far as to say that the 'women' writing in examples of problems they were having were coming from incredibly stupid individuals if they were indeed authentic. That being said, I agreed with some of the statements in the book, in particular these ones. I have to thank Chrissy, who posted this in her own blog for reminding me again, of these wise, eye-opening, heart-wrenching words that I would have preferred to forget, if I had any sort of agreement with the phrase "Oblivion is bliss." Unfortunately, I'm of the mind that almost all knowledge is worth having. Without further ado, here goes nothin:
Sometimes, I fucking HATE being me. Yeah, I realize I might be overreacting, and this could all be one giant PMS/Hungover/overly-emotional-as usual Linds brain fart. (And hey, fuck you if you're offended by that, grow a backbone. I'm a chick, I'm allowed to say shit like that, and I'm not one to keep my mouth shut when I've got an opinion.) That being said, when you feel like you're emotions are being tugged on to an unfair advantage by someone else, you have EVERY SINGLE RIGHT to say something about it, male or female.
The book is entitled "He's Just Not That Into You." Normally I deplore any sort of relationship "guru" style books that pop up on the literature market, especially when written by two of the writers from the television programme Sex In The City. I greeted this book's debut with scorn and a sneer before I started feeling... Well... I guess like I was putting more into my relationship than anyone in their right mind should be putting into it and getting NOTHING in return. I picked it up, in a fit of disgruntlement and the need to figure out just what the FUCK goes on in the heads of men. It was a last resort attempt to get some help. In ways I'm glad I bought it and read it, and in other ways it's a stinging reminder of the failures I've had in some of my past, and current relationships.
It's a difficult thing to swallow, that burgeoning pride that we develop as we mature. We would rather surround ourselves in cushiony lies and half truths, when deep inside we know the truth and we would rather not accept it. It's such a fucking hard lesson.
I read it in three hours, cover to cover. Granted, I disagreed with SOME of the stuff written in it, and I believe I went so far as to say that the 'women' writing in examples of problems they were having were coming from incredibly stupid individuals if they were indeed authentic. That being said, I agreed with some of the statements in the book, in particular these ones. I have to thank Chrissy, who posted this in her own blog for reminding me again, of these wise, eye-opening, heart-wrenching words that I would have preferred to forget, if I had any sort of agreement with the phrase "Oblivion is bliss." Unfortunately, I'm of the mind that almost all knowledge is worth having. Without further ado, here goes nothin:
"The word 'busy' is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want."
"Do all his apologies count for something? Well, you can choose to believe he is sorry. You can choose to believe he will change. But in my book, lying, cheating, or hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you."
Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
Sometimes, I fucking HATE being me. Yeah, I realize I might be overreacting, and this could all be one giant PMS/Hungover/overly-emotional-as usual Linds brain fart. (And hey, fuck you if you're offended by that, grow a backbone. I'm a chick, I'm allowed to say shit like that, and I'm not one to keep my mouth shut when I've got an opinion.) That being said, when you feel like you're emotions are being tugged on to an unfair advantage by someone else, you have EVERY SINGLE RIGHT to say something about it, male or female.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Politico!!
I've just discovered that after almost 4 years of non-political action, I've been elected "Minister of the Arts" (fitting, no?) by The Mayor who holds sway over Mitchieville.
Gosh, Mayor, what did I have to do to get THAT honorific title? (Tell me it was dirty. *winks*)
Considering all I've been doing lately is pissing and moaning (apologies tendered all around, by the way...) I might fit in just "poifectly" (nyuk nyuk nyuk!) with REAL political activists. Remember, I used to BE one.
I'm totally flattered. Thanks, sugar.
Gosh, Mayor, what did I have to do to get THAT honorific title? (Tell me it was dirty. *winks*)
Considering all I've been doing lately is pissing and moaning (apologies tendered all around, by the way...) I might fit in just "poifectly" (nyuk nyuk nyuk!) with REAL political activists. Remember, I used to BE one.
I'm totally flattered. Thanks, sugar.
A Maze Of Hallways...
Music Of The Moment: "Skin" by Madonna
I just spent the majority of my afternoon winding my way through the confusing, tangled hallways of the main Langara campus. I HAD to go in there, because I needed to talk to Continuing studies office official peoples, get a student ID card (which, admittedly I had been putting off) and traipse about to the Student Union building to get a Fastrack pass for my travel costs.
It's no secret that I hate going to the main campus, and I'll wholeheartedly admit that I'm a snob when it comes to the individuals I talk to. I'm thoroughly fed up with the brusque, patronizing, condescending, impersonal manner that I get from every single person I speak to on campus that THINKS that they are in any position of authority. (Newsflash, Student Union Office members, You're glorified perma-students, nothing more. You've become a professional at avoiding the real world. Congratulations. This, is G.N.N.**) It disturbs me that nothing seems to matter to them but but themselves, and the stupid hierarchy of other perma-students avoiding reality that they have built around them.
I don't share the typical mentality of a college student, seeing as I've done the majority of my carousing and binge drinking (Please note, that I've said the MAJORITY of it. There's still some kicking around left in this old mare.) I've fucked my way around, sowed my wild oats, had my fun and now I'm just in college to *gasp* get an education. Fancy that. It frustrates me to see people who PAY for an education, and then decide that they are going to show up hungover for class, or not do the assignments given to them, or slack on a group project expecting someone to carry their ass through the class, all the other sorts of negative things that some college students do. It makes me entirely satisfied to be in a smaller, subsidiary campus, in a learning atmosphere where the majority of my fellow students are a little more mature, (about 85-90% of them haven't come fresh off the boat right out of highschool to the campus.) Most of them are between the ages of 25-45, very intelligent, and not afraid of buckling down and doing homework.
It's actually quite impressive to think about how this small group of people (My class consists of nine students) have bonded. In first term, the majority of us were too timid to voice our opinions about other peoples design skills, what we found lacking, and what we found were strong design attributes. That sense of hesitancy has fallen to the wayside now, and we criticize and compliment each others work freely. This is where we differ from the regular college courses. We don't compete for attention, we work together. That's what we've been taught to do. We don't come into school parading around in the newest fashions, trying to impress our classmates, because, quite honestly, we DON'T CARE about that shit. There are no battles over popularity (Or if there are, they are minimal.) Because the majority of the students in this program don't have that highschool mentality lurking in the brains of most of the students on main campus. This was the main reason why I hesitated so much in GOING to college/university, It wasn't because I had no faith in my intelligence, it was because I have a love/hate relationship with college students due to some REALLY bad experiences with them while dating my first boyfriend. those experiences were also one of the reasons why I was hesitant to go to Langara. I'm sure I'm generalizing the HELL out of them, when they don't deserve it, but damnit, there was nothing that disputed that fact while I was wandering the hallways of the main campus today. Plus, I'm apparently getting REALLY good at pissing people off with my opinion, so why the hell not add a few more hate filled stares aimed my way?
Needless to say, I was pretty damned uncomfortable being looked at with scorn for being lost in the hallways of the main campus. Thank goodness I only have to go there once a month to get my bus pass.
**The Glamazon News Network
I just spent the majority of my afternoon winding my way through the confusing, tangled hallways of the main Langara campus. I HAD to go in there, because I needed to talk to Continuing studies office official peoples, get a student ID card (which, admittedly I had been putting off) and traipse about to the Student Union building to get a Fastrack pass for my travel costs.
It's no secret that I hate going to the main campus, and I'll wholeheartedly admit that I'm a snob when it comes to the individuals I talk to. I'm thoroughly fed up with the brusque, patronizing, condescending, impersonal manner that I get from every single person I speak to on campus that THINKS that they are in any position of authority. (Newsflash, Student Union Office members, You're glorified perma-students, nothing more. You've become a professional at avoiding the real world. Congratulations. This, is G.N.N.**) It disturbs me that nothing seems to matter to them but but themselves, and the stupid hierarchy of other perma-students avoiding reality that they have built around them.
I don't share the typical mentality of a college student, seeing as I've done the majority of my carousing and binge drinking (Please note, that I've said the MAJORITY of it. There's still some kicking around left in this old mare.) I've fucked my way around, sowed my wild oats, had my fun and now I'm just in college to *gasp* get an education. Fancy that. It frustrates me to see people who PAY for an education, and then decide that they are going to show up hungover for class, or not do the assignments given to them, or slack on a group project expecting someone to carry their ass through the class, all the other sorts of negative things that some college students do. It makes me entirely satisfied to be in a smaller, subsidiary campus, in a learning atmosphere where the majority of my fellow students are a little more mature, (about 85-90% of them haven't come fresh off the boat right out of highschool to the campus.) Most of them are between the ages of 25-45, very intelligent, and not afraid of buckling down and doing homework.
It's actually quite impressive to think about how this small group of people (My class consists of nine students) have bonded. In first term, the majority of us were too timid to voice our opinions about other peoples design skills, what we found lacking, and what we found were strong design attributes. That sense of hesitancy has fallen to the wayside now, and we criticize and compliment each others work freely. This is where we differ from the regular college courses. We don't compete for attention, we work together. That's what we've been taught to do. We don't come into school parading around in the newest fashions, trying to impress our classmates, because, quite honestly, we DON'T CARE about that shit. There are no battles over popularity (Or if there are, they are minimal.) Because the majority of the students in this program don't have that highschool mentality lurking in the brains of most of the students on main campus. This was the main reason why I hesitated so much in GOING to college/university, It wasn't because I had no faith in my intelligence, it was because I have a love/hate relationship with college students due to some REALLY bad experiences with them while dating my first boyfriend. those experiences were also one of the reasons why I was hesitant to go to Langara. I'm sure I'm generalizing the HELL out of them, when they don't deserve it, but damnit, there was nothing that disputed that fact while I was wandering the hallways of the main campus today. Plus, I'm apparently getting REALLY good at pissing people off with my opinion, so why the hell not add a few more hate filled stares aimed my way?
Needless to say, I was pretty damned uncomfortable being looked at with scorn for being lost in the hallways of the main campus. Thank goodness I only have to go there once a month to get my bus pass.
**The Glamazon News Network
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Sa-Tis-Fac-Tion...
-It's the result of a job well done when you've been working on it for hours.
-It's chowing down on an excellent, yet simple meal when you're starving.
-It's curling up with a novel after a long day, wrapped up in a warm blanket.
-It's putting on your favourite sweater/comfy clothes after wearing dress clothes all day long.
-It's taking a long hot soak in the tub to relax your muscles.
-It's curling up next to the person you love after an exhausting session in the sack.
-It's the feeling that you have after an hour long massage.
-It's the sensation you get after listening to a particularly enjoyable album.
-It's spending the evening around the friends or family that you love.
-It's knowing that despite how hectic the world can be, the simple things never really change.
-It's knowing that you have and have used the ability to help someone when they needed it.
-It's the feeling that if you were a cat, you'd be washing yourself and preparing to take a snooze.
-It's singing to yourself in the shower and finally hitting that high note that's been eluding you for weeks.
-It's coming home and knowing you don't have anything important to do for a change.
-It's the feeling you get when you finish the last page in a great book.
I'm pretty content right now. It's a nice change.
-It's chowing down on an excellent, yet simple meal when you're starving.
-It's curling up with a novel after a long day, wrapped up in a warm blanket.
-It's putting on your favourite sweater/comfy clothes after wearing dress clothes all day long.
-It's taking a long hot soak in the tub to relax your muscles.
-It's curling up next to the person you love after an exhausting session in the sack.
-It's the feeling that you have after an hour long massage.
-It's the sensation you get after listening to a particularly enjoyable album.
-It's spending the evening around the friends or family that you love.
-It's knowing that despite how hectic the world can be, the simple things never really change.
-It's knowing that you have and have used the ability to help someone when they needed it.
-It's the feeling that if you were a cat, you'd be washing yourself and preparing to take a snooze.
-It's singing to yourself in the shower and finally hitting that high note that's been eluding you for weeks.
-It's coming home and knowing you don't have anything important to do for a change.
-It's the feeling you get when you finish the last page in a great book.
I'm pretty content right now. It's a nice change.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Parts 2, 3 and 4 of My 100 Things...
And so it continues...
26.) I think Snoop Doggy Dogg has the hottest voice in the universe.
27.) I also think he's butt ugly.
28.) I have a horrible addiction to books and music. I need a new bookshelf and CD rack.
29.) I take obsessively good care of my CD's. Very few of them have scratches, and after I import them into my laptop, they rarely leave the CD book I have for them.
30.) I only drink Vodka for my hard liquor, and don't mix my types of alcohol when drinking.
31.) I don't like beer all that much, and rum gives me the worst hangovers in the universe.
32.) I was very quiet, shy and had only one or two friends for the majority of Elementary school and Highschool.
33.) I have 18 years of vocal training, the results of that training giving me a range of between six to six and a half octaves, from second soprano (very high) to lower tenor.
34.)In grade 12, I did a feature solo in my Jazz Choir for the song "Operator" by Manhattan Transfer.
35.)I got a standing ovation by my peers in the daytime performance in front of my whole school, and a standing ovation from the parents attending in the evening performance. My dad cried and that in turn made me cry in front of everyone. I wasn't embarrassed.
36.) I refuse to audition for Canadian Idol, and it irritates the hell out of my mother.
37.) She doesn't know that I'm going to audition JUST for her next year when they come into town.
38.) I really don't want to, but I want her to be happy more than anything.
39.) I am my own worst critic on everything from singing, writing, creative process, to my own bodyshape.
40.) I am going to attempt to run the Vancouver Sun Run in 2006, if I finally get my arse in gear and start training for it NOW.
41.) The likelihood of me actually being able to RUN the entire marathon is very slim due to a knee injury I received when I was a baker.
42.) If I don't actually end up running the duration of the marathon, I'm still going to finish it, even if I have to walk.
43.) I believe in marriage.
44.) I think that most people can't actually commit to being with one individual for the rest of their life. I think it scares them.
45.) As much as I believe in marriage, I don't know if I will ever get married.
46.) I think that every woman is a barbie girl/princess/glamazon in their heart, no matter how unattractive/modest/timid they may feel about themselves.
47.) I don't think there is anything wrong with them being a barbie doll/princess/glamazon.
48.) I'm feeling MUCH better today, and I'm glad I am.
49.) I'm old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again.
50.) I've always wanted to go to New Orleans.
51.) It's probably smelly, loud, and dirty, but I want to go anyways.
52.) My birthday falls on an international workers holiday in every country and continent other than North America.
53.) I want to go to Cuba for my birthday one year.
54.) I enjoy smoking cigarello's.
55.) I have a few Romeo Y Julietta cigars from Cuba that I smoke occasionally.
56.) I enjoy sitting on the porch on a warm summers day with a glass of lemonade and a good book.
57.) My father loves to garden, and the majority of the front and back yard in the house I grew up in was flower/vegetable beds.
58.) My Dad always saves me a pumpkin every year to carve for Hallowe'en.
59.) I've always wanted a bonsai tree, but I'm not green-thumb gifted like my father.
60.) My dad had to resuscitate my hanging ivy, and the lady that sold it to me PROMISED me I wouldn't be able to kill it. She lied.
61.) He won't give it back to me, because he's afraid I'll attempt to kill it again. :(
62.) I'm going to steal it back when I have my own apartment. (tee hee.)
63.) I'm not very partial to dogs, because I've been bitten by about seven of them.
64.) Dogs, however, are very partial to me. (Other than the ones that have bitten me.)
65.) I have magic cat petting fingers, and I tend to make friends with cats after about twenty minutes of hanging around them. Even if they are 'snobby' or 'timid'.
66.) I want a big 75 gallon fish tank with kickass castles and plants and stuff for my future fish, because I always enjoy watching them swim.
67.) I made friends with a very pretty parrot in the pet store. He wolf whistles at me.
68.) I call him a flirt.
69.) Hee. I'm on number 69.
70.) I'm listening to India Arie right now. I love her sultry alto voice.
71.) I'm a cuddle addict. Cuddles beat sex about 75 percent of the time.
72.) From my experience, Devin, The Jewish Princess, Erik, Melissa and my Dad give the best hugs in the universe. EVER.
73.) I love people at the drop of a hat.
74.) However, I've only been in love (real, "head over heels, crazy about them" in love) with three people.
75.) Yes, there is a difference between 73 and 74.
76.) I used to be a controlling, domineering, close minded bitch when I was 18-21.
77.) I decided that mentality really sucked, and now I'm a little (okay, a lot) more relaxed.
78.) I have a fondness for telling dirty, inappropriate jokes at work to select co-workers.
79.) I've never, EVER gotten in trouble for it.
80.) I wonder about everything all the time.
81.) I was told recently by a friend that I don't act 25. Apparently I act 19.
82.) I don't know how much I appreciate that.
83.) I wonder if that's a bad thing.
84.) I think that if you take yourself too seriously, and never learn to laugh at yourself, you are going to get old before your time.
85.) My favourite Shakespearian sonnet is Sonnet 116.
86.) I like it because it tells the way that love SHOULD be, and not how most people think of it as.
87.) My favourite poet, is Robert Frost.
88.) Coincidentally enough, that's my dad's favourite poet as well. (I had no idea.)
89.) My dad can sing opera like Andrea Bocelli.
90.) The first time I heard him sing, (I was 16) I was stunned.
91.) I got my parents interested in collecting music.
92.) My family, despite how crazy they drive me, are one of the focal points in my life.
93.) My friends, writing, creativity, Devin, music and education are the others.
94.) Most of the time I get bored easily, and have to have a few things going on at once.
95.) I am left handed.
96.) I'm moderately disorganized, but usually know where everything is.
97.) I get frustrated with myself a lot.
98.) I have to tell myself all the time, that "Everything will all be all right in the end, and if it's not all right, then it's not the end".
99.) I make mistakes all the time, but usually don't have a problem admitting I made them.
100.) Soul filled music is the best stuff for me to write to. For this entire entry, I was listening to self titled album by India.Arie.
26.) I think Snoop Doggy Dogg has the hottest voice in the universe.
27.) I also think he's butt ugly.
28.) I have a horrible addiction to books and music. I need a new bookshelf and CD rack.
29.) I take obsessively good care of my CD's. Very few of them have scratches, and after I import them into my laptop, they rarely leave the CD book I have for them.
30.) I only drink Vodka for my hard liquor, and don't mix my types of alcohol when drinking.
31.) I don't like beer all that much, and rum gives me the worst hangovers in the universe.
32.) I was very quiet, shy and had only one or two friends for the majority of Elementary school and Highschool.
33.) I have 18 years of vocal training, the results of that training giving me a range of between six to six and a half octaves, from second soprano (very high) to lower tenor.
34.)In grade 12, I did a feature solo in my Jazz Choir for the song "Operator" by Manhattan Transfer.
35.)I got a standing ovation by my peers in the daytime performance in front of my whole school, and a standing ovation from the parents attending in the evening performance. My dad cried and that in turn made me cry in front of everyone. I wasn't embarrassed.
36.) I refuse to audition for Canadian Idol, and it irritates the hell out of my mother.
37.) She doesn't know that I'm going to audition JUST for her next year when they come into town.
38.) I really don't want to, but I want her to be happy more than anything.
39.) I am my own worst critic on everything from singing, writing, creative process, to my own bodyshape.
40.) I am going to attempt to run the Vancouver Sun Run in 2006, if I finally get my arse in gear and start training for it NOW.
41.) The likelihood of me actually being able to RUN the entire marathon is very slim due to a knee injury I received when I was a baker.
42.) If I don't actually end up running the duration of the marathon, I'm still going to finish it, even if I have to walk.
43.) I believe in marriage.
44.) I think that most people can't actually commit to being with one individual for the rest of their life. I think it scares them.
45.) As much as I believe in marriage, I don't know if I will ever get married.
46.) I think that every woman is a barbie girl/princess/glamazon in their heart, no matter how unattractive/modest/timid they may feel about themselves.
47.) I don't think there is anything wrong with them being a barbie doll/princess/glamazon.
48.) I'm feeling MUCH better today, and I'm glad I am.
49.) I'm old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again.
50.) I've always wanted to go to New Orleans.
51.) It's probably smelly, loud, and dirty, but I want to go anyways.
52.) My birthday falls on an international workers holiday in every country and continent other than North America.
53.) I want to go to Cuba for my birthday one year.
54.) I enjoy smoking cigarello's.
55.) I have a few Romeo Y Julietta cigars from Cuba that I smoke occasionally.
56.) I enjoy sitting on the porch on a warm summers day with a glass of lemonade and a good book.
57.) My father loves to garden, and the majority of the front and back yard in the house I grew up in was flower/vegetable beds.
58.) My Dad always saves me a pumpkin every year to carve for Hallowe'en.
59.) I've always wanted a bonsai tree, but I'm not green-thumb gifted like my father.
60.) My dad had to resuscitate my hanging ivy, and the lady that sold it to me PROMISED me I wouldn't be able to kill it. She lied.
61.) He won't give it back to me, because he's afraid I'll attempt to kill it again. :(
62.) I'm going to steal it back when I have my own apartment. (tee hee.)
63.) I'm not very partial to dogs, because I've been bitten by about seven of them.
64.) Dogs, however, are very partial to me. (Other than the ones that have bitten me.)
65.) I have magic cat petting fingers, and I tend to make friends with cats after about twenty minutes of hanging around them. Even if they are 'snobby' or 'timid'.
66.) I want a big 75 gallon fish tank with kickass castles and plants and stuff for my future fish, because I always enjoy watching them swim.
67.) I made friends with a very pretty parrot in the pet store. He wolf whistles at me.
68.) I call him a flirt.
69.) Hee. I'm on number 69.
70.) I'm listening to India Arie right now. I love her sultry alto voice.
71.) I'm a cuddle addict. Cuddles beat sex about 75 percent of the time.
72.) From my experience, Devin, The Jewish Princess, Erik, Melissa and my Dad give the best hugs in the universe. EVER.
73.) I love people at the drop of a hat.
74.) However, I've only been in love (real, "head over heels, crazy about them" in love) with three people.
75.) Yes, there is a difference between 73 and 74.
76.) I used to be a controlling, domineering, close minded bitch when I was 18-21.
77.) I decided that mentality really sucked, and now I'm a little (okay, a lot) more relaxed.
78.) I have a fondness for telling dirty, inappropriate jokes at work to select co-workers.
79.) I've never, EVER gotten in trouble for it.
80.) I wonder about everything all the time.
81.) I was told recently by a friend that I don't act 25. Apparently I act 19.
82.) I don't know how much I appreciate that.
83.) I wonder if that's a bad thing.
84.) I think that if you take yourself too seriously, and never learn to laugh at yourself, you are going to get old before your time.
85.) My favourite Shakespearian sonnet is Sonnet 116.
86.) I like it because it tells the way that love SHOULD be, and not how most people think of it as.
87.) My favourite poet, is Robert Frost.
88.) Coincidentally enough, that's my dad's favourite poet as well. (I had no idea.)
89.) My dad can sing opera like Andrea Bocelli.
90.) The first time I heard him sing, (I was 16) I was stunned.
91.) I got my parents interested in collecting music.
92.) My family, despite how crazy they drive me, are one of the focal points in my life.
93.) My friends, writing, creativity, Devin, music and education are the others.
94.) Most of the time I get bored easily, and have to have a few things going on at once.
95.) I am left handed.
96.) I'm moderately disorganized, but usually know where everything is.
97.) I get frustrated with myself a lot.
98.) I have to tell myself all the time, that "Everything will all be all right in the end, and if it's not all right, then it's not the end".
99.) I make mistakes all the time, but usually don't have a problem admitting I made them.
100.) Soul filled music is the best stuff for me to write to. For this entire entry, I was listening to self titled album by India.Arie.
Monday, May 16, 2005
part 1/4 of my next 100 Things...
Fuck that only one 100 things list per person. As the Ever so loquacious Mademioselle Jerilyn said to me,
"...If there are only 100 interesting things about you, then you might as well curl up and die."
That being said, I'm doing it in four parts, since I'm not feeling too hot right now, and have a really hard time concentrating. Hell, I have a really hard time lying down, (shuttup, you!) let alone thinking.
1.) I'm an addict to stand up comedy. My favourite channel is the Comedy Channel the rare times I do watch T.V. it's on that, or Much Music.
2.) I listened to the skit "80s Metal" by Patton Oswalt 11 times on the way home from Salt Lake City to Vancouver and laughed until I was crying.
3.) I'm sure the people on board thought I was either a terrorist or insane, seeing as I was sitting by myself.
4.) I get inspired by modern Opera, and wish I had trained in it vocally.
5.) I might get on that one day. Preferably if it's profitable.
6.) I love stargazer lillies. When I buy them my whole house smells gorgeous.
7.) I love the song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger." by Daft Punk. It's such a funk laden, unique use of mixing.
8.) I'm not feeling well right now, and I've been very dizzy all day.
9.) I'm sure I'm going to be fine within the next 24 hours, I hope.
10.) I am religious about my pedicures. I give myself one every week.
11.) I just painted my toenails "Hooker Red" on Saturday.
12.) That's really what the name of it is. I swear. That's why I bought the bottle.
13.) I corrupt all my friends and turn them into perverts.
14.) They've never gotten mad at me for it. I think they might even LIKE it!
15.) I enjoy shopping so much it's dangerous.
16.) I can cook pretty damned much anything you ask me to cook, and cook it well.
17.) I love workin' with my hands.
18.) Yeah, that's right. I'm REALLY good with my hands. On everything.
19.) I use expressions like "Rad" and "Dude" a lot. It would be more fitting if I was from the Southern coast of California. I guess the South West Coast of Canada is close enough.
20.) I've been browsing travelocity.ca every day to see how much tickets are to Dallas again.
21.) It's roughly $445.00 CDN for a round trip.
22.) That's roughly $20.00 USD. Damned exchange rate.
23.) True or False: If all Zibs are Zools, and all Zools are Zorks, then all Zibs are Zorks.
24.) The answer is true. I think. That's what I put anyways. Damned IQ tests.
25.) I'll be really embarassed if that's wrong. Maybe.
"...If there are only 100 interesting things about you, then you might as well curl up and die."
That being said, I'm doing it in four parts, since I'm not feeling too hot right now, and have a really hard time concentrating. Hell, I have a really hard time lying down, (shuttup, you!) let alone thinking.
1.) I'm an addict to stand up comedy. My favourite channel is the Comedy Channel the rare times I do watch T.V. it's on that, or Much Music.
2.) I listened to the skit "80s Metal" by Patton Oswalt 11 times on the way home from Salt Lake City to Vancouver and laughed until I was crying.
3.) I'm sure the people on board thought I was either a terrorist or insane, seeing as I was sitting by myself.
4.) I get inspired by modern Opera, and wish I had trained in it vocally.
5.) I might get on that one day. Preferably if it's profitable.
6.) I love stargazer lillies. When I buy them my whole house smells gorgeous.
7.) I love the song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger." by Daft Punk. It's such a funk laden, unique use of mixing.
8.) I'm not feeling well right now, and I've been very dizzy all day.
9.) I'm sure I'm going to be fine within the next 24 hours, I hope.
10.) I am religious about my pedicures. I give myself one every week.
11.) I just painted my toenails "Hooker Red" on Saturday.
12.) That's really what the name of it is. I swear. That's why I bought the bottle.
13.) I corrupt all my friends and turn them into perverts.
14.) They've never gotten mad at me for it. I think they might even LIKE it!
15.) I enjoy shopping so much it's dangerous.
16.) I can cook pretty damned much anything you ask me to cook, and cook it well.
17.) I love workin' with my hands.
18.) Yeah, that's right. I'm REALLY good with my hands. On everything.
19.) I use expressions like "Rad" and "Dude" a lot. It would be more fitting if I was from the Southern coast of California. I guess the South West Coast of Canada is close enough.
20.) I've been browsing travelocity.ca every day to see how much tickets are to Dallas again.
21.) It's roughly $445.00 CDN for a round trip.
22.) That's roughly $20.00 USD. Damned exchange rate.
23.) True or False: If all Zibs are Zools, and all Zools are Zorks, then all Zibs are Zorks.
24.) The answer is true. I think. That's what I put anyways. Damned IQ tests.
25.) I'll be really embarassed if that's wrong. Maybe.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
A Breath Of Fresh Air...
I sold my half of the business I've been running with my business partner this morning.
It was a nerve wracking process, but all in all, I made a good profit from it, and unfortunately, it's difficult to run a business with two hard headed individuals. Especially when they're related. To save face, a good friendship, and everything else that was on the line, I agreed to her proposition. Granted, it was hard to do, but I was getting frustrated with her and my clashing desires, where she had some very extreme notions of where she wanted this to go.
As another plus, I don't have to worry about nine hour long business meetings, hour long discussions on the phone where our opinions clashed constantly, and to produce stuff that would normally take me at least a day, with careful planning in advance to sitting down and working when she wanted it in an hour. For a control freak like me, releasing my work when it's sub-par, is not up for discussion it just simply won't happen. Especially when I'm not being paid for it. Maybe I was holding her back, but I don't dive headfirst into the pool. Perhaps taurus' people don't make the best entrepreneurs seeing as we miss some of the opportunities offered to us.
Now, it's a much different story. She loves the work I produce, and will commission me to retouch photos during this term, and design the site after term two is over. This is a more agreeable arrangement to me. It gives me the opportunity to do portfolio pieces, get paid the amount of money I SHOULD be getting in the first place, instead of doing it for free and just getting a thank you. That's okay the first few times, but I don't volunteer. The past while has only shown me that every bit of effort I was tossing into the mix was increasing my wealth minimally, not at all, or even taking money away from me when I could have been doing paid stuff, or better homework assignments. It was frustrating me, which in turn was frustrating her.
I was anxious about it, and phoned Dev, if only to get it off my chest, and I'm glad I did. He always has a way of putting things in perspective for me, or just simply being a willing ear to hear me voice the tyrannical thoughts dividing and conquering my dome. Thanks, love.
I finished my meeting this morning and left the house, the feeling of stress that I'd had for a few months lifted off of my shoulders. I was practically giddy. That alone ensures me that I made the right decision by agreeing with her.
This also means that any of the shmucks that went on their BDSM bible thumping brigade against me previously, can bite me. I'm not involved anymore, and I don't want to hear that annoying drivel coming out of your 'mouths'.
It was a nerve wracking process, but all in all, I made a good profit from it, and unfortunately, it's difficult to run a business with two hard headed individuals. Especially when they're related. To save face, a good friendship, and everything else that was on the line, I agreed to her proposition. Granted, it was hard to do, but I was getting frustrated with her and my clashing desires, where she had some very extreme notions of where she wanted this to go.
As another plus, I don't have to worry about nine hour long business meetings, hour long discussions on the phone where our opinions clashed constantly, and to produce stuff that would normally take me at least a day, with careful planning in advance to sitting down and working when she wanted it in an hour. For a control freak like me, releasing my work when it's sub-par, is not up for discussion it just simply won't happen. Especially when I'm not being paid for it. Maybe I was holding her back, but I don't dive headfirst into the pool. Perhaps taurus' people don't make the best entrepreneurs seeing as we miss some of the opportunities offered to us.
Now, it's a much different story. She loves the work I produce, and will commission me to retouch photos during this term, and design the site after term two is over. This is a more agreeable arrangement to me. It gives me the opportunity to do portfolio pieces, get paid the amount of money I SHOULD be getting in the first place, instead of doing it for free and just getting a thank you. That's okay the first few times, but I don't volunteer. The past while has only shown me that every bit of effort I was tossing into the mix was increasing my wealth minimally, not at all, or even taking money away from me when I could have been doing paid stuff, or better homework assignments. It was frustrating me, which in turn was frustrating her.
I was anxious about it, and phoned Dev, if only to get it off my chest, and I'm glad I did. He always has a way of putting things in perspective for me, or just simply being a willing ear to hear me voice the tyrannical thoughts dividing and conquering my dome. Thanks, love.
I finished my meeting this morning and left the house, the feeling of stress that I'd had for a few months lifted off of my shoulders. I was practically giddy. That alone ensures me that I made the right decision by agreeing with her.
This also means that any of the shmucks that went on their BDSM bible thumping brigade against me previously, can bite me. I'm not involved anymore, and I don't want to hear that annoying drivel coming out of your 'mouths'.
Friday, May 13, 2005
I Have An Annoying Munchkin Nibbling On My Brain...
For the past month and a half I've had some problems with my neck on one side of my body.
It seems that my head doesn't like turning too far to the left, which altogether wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that it annoys the shit out of me when I forget and have a little twitch of pain when I turn my dome. (For instance, ogling particularly fine men wandering around this lil' ol' town of mine.) I thought the massages I was getting helped, but that only seemed to last for about three hours after my massage, and then it was back to square one.
I've never visited a chiropractor, and I'm tempted more than you can imagine to go to one and have them pop my back and neck back into functionality. I've probably damaged my spine alignment years ago from all the lifting and bending over at the waist (shush, you.) oven work, and a multitude of other necessary tortures I got paid too little for, that I did working for Safeway. If not a chiropractor, then a petite Japanese woman can walk all up and down my back.
I won't complain, seriously.
It's progressed today, into a headache that seems to rest right behind my left eye, and along with being cranky while attempting (poorly) to not smoke, I've got this misfit of a mini-midget bouncing up and down on the nerve behind my eyeball, and swimming laps around the shallow end of my brainpan. It's nothing major, just a niggling, gnawing little bastard of a headache that is pretty darned distracting. I thought it was no caffeine that was incurring this thang, but after saucing myself liberally at Starbucks with an extra sweet vanilla latte, no dice.
I used to suffer from really nasty migranes when I was in my late teens, where I was pretty much incapacitated in a room that was dark, cool and utterly silent, lying as still as possible, breathing shallow-like, for fear of the slightest movement/sound/anything make my head explode. So this is nothing but an annoyance. Since I had to take these damned nigh hydroponic in propensity painkillers (otherwise known as T3's) and I've developed a resistance to Tylenol. I have had to resort to using Advil, which is pretty damned close to god's drug, as far as I'm concerned. Advil loves me, yes I know, the pharmaceutical company tells me so.
I've read three books (And YEAH D, it's the GOOD kind, Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Stick that in your pro non-fiction pipe, and smoke it. :P Just kidding.) all within the past week. My mother decided to toss me two plastic bags full of new vittles for my eyes and imagination, and it fills the time on transit in the morning. If you like a new twist on Fairy Tales check out "The Fairy Godmother" by Mercedes Lackey. I found it to be a really good read if you wanted to escape into a super in-depth, unique look at fairy tales.
Also enjoyable is "Medalon" by Jennifer Fallon. Unfortunately, it's book one of a chronicle set, which is probably the only thing I can bitch about with books nowadays. I understand that authors make wicked cash, the more books they sell, but I'm a believer in enjoying a story start to finish in one book. It's totally cool with me if they decide to continue the theme, with the same characters on a new adventure in another book, but it would be appreciated if they could keep a story in one novel. I also understand that sometimes, a story is too epic to be contained in one 500 page novel, without losing character depth and interesting storyline.
The only reasoning behind why I'm saying that, is this. It ensures that a new reader who accidentally picks up book five in a seven book series isn't totally confused, therefore increasing the likelihood of that reader purchasing more of that authors literature, given the fact that said reader enjoyed the writing style and story behind the novel. It's sorta like turning on the T.V. and watching a soap opera you've never seen before, and wondering what the fuck is going on, who the hell all the characters are, and why on gods green earth is the chick with the eyepatch that is obviously over 50 but built like a brick shithouse, macking on the hot stud that is barely out of his twenties and who is screwing her daughter who is pregnant with her mother's fourth husband's child, who died and then came back from the dead for revenge against his wife who murdered him in a jealous rage over his indiscretions and his murderous wife is trying to get back at her daughter by fucking her boyfriend who has fathered children with half a dozennnn... *gasps for a breath* Yeah. anyways. (I totally made that up, but I'm sure it's been an even more convoluted soap opera plot at one point in time or another.) This however, is just my opinion, which on the whole, means squat, as per usual.
At any rate, I'm going to take my drugs, finish reading book one, and lust after book two that hasn't been published yet.
It seems that my head doesn't like turning too far to the left, which altogether wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that it annoys the shit out of me when I forget and have a little twitch of pain when I turn my dome. (For instance, ogling particularly fine men wandering around this lil' ol' town of mine.) I thought the massages I was getting helped, but that only seemed to last for about three hours after my massage, and then it was back to square one.
I've never visited a chiropractor, and I'm tempted more than you can imagine to go to one and have them pop my back and neck back into functionality. I've probably damaged my spine alignment years ago from all the lifting and bending over at the waist (shush, you.) oven work, and a multitude of other necessary tortures I got paid too little for, that I did working for Safeway. If not a chiropractor, then a petite Japanese woman can walk all up and down my back.
I won't complain, seriously.
It's progressed today, into a headache that seems to rest right behind my left eye, and along with being cranky while attempting (poorly) to not smoke, I've got this misfit of a mini-midget bouncing up and down on the nerve behind my eyeball, and swimming laps around the shallow end of my brainpan. It's nothing major, just a niggling, gnawing little bastard of a headache that is pretty darned distracting. I thought it was no caffeine that was incurring this thang, but after saucing myself liberally at Starbucks with an extra sweet vanilla latte, no dice.
I used to suffer from really nasty migranes when I was in my late teens, where I was pretty much incapacitated in a room that was dark, cool and utterly silent, lying as still as possible, breathing shallow-like, for fear of the slightest movement/sound/anything make my head explode. So this is nothing but an annoyance. Since I had to take these damned nigh hydroponic in propensity painkillers (otherwise known as T3's) and I've developed a resistance to Tylenol. I have had to resort to using Advil, which is pretty damned close to god's drug, as far as I'm concerned. Advil loves me, yes I know, the pharmaceutical company tells me so.
I've read three books (And YEAH D, it's the GOOD kind, Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Stick that in your pro non-fiction pipe, and smoke it. :P Just kidding.) all within the past week. My mother decided to toss me two plastic bags full of new vittles for my eyes and imagination, and it fills the time on transit in the morning. If you like a new twist on Fairy Tales check out "The Fairy Godmother" by Mercedes Lackey. I found it to be a really good read if you wanted to escape into a super in-depth, unique look at fairy tales.
Also enjoyable is "Medalon" by Jennifer Fallon. Unfortunately, it's book one of a chronicle set, which is probably the only thing I can bitch about with books nowadays. I understand that authors make wicked cash, the more books they sell, but I'm a believer in enjoying a story start to finish in one book. It's totally cool with me if they decide to continue the theme, with the same characters on a new adventure in another book, but it would be appreciated if they could keep a story in one novel. I also understand that sometimes, a story is too epic to be contained in one 500 page novel, without losing character depth and interesting storyline.
The only reasoning behind why I'm saying that, is this. It ensures that a new reader who accidentally picks up book five in a seven book series isn't totally confused, therefore increasing the likelihood of that reader purchasing more of that authors literature, given the fact that said reader enjoyed the writing style and story behind the novel. It's sorta like turning on the T.V. and watching a soap opera you've never seen before, and wondering what the fuck is going on, who the hell all the characters are, and why on gods green earth is the chick with the eyepatch that is obviously over 50 but built like a brick shithouse, macking on the hot stud that is barely out of his twenties and who is screwing her daughter who is pregnant with her mother's fourth husband's child, who died and then came back from the dead for revenge against his wife who murdered him in a jealous rage over his indiscretions and his murderous wife is trying to get back at her daughter by fucking her boyfriend who has fathered children with half a dozennnn... *gasps for a breath* Yeah. anyways. (I totally made that up, but I'm sure it's been an even more convoluted soap opera plot at one point in time or another.) This however, is just my opinion, which on the whole, means squat, as per usual.
At any rate, I'm going to take my drugs, finish reading book one, and lust after book two that hasn't been published yet.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Pip-pah-pip-pip, DEAD.
As of Tuesday, I've been back in class. Today I had the opportunity to get at least 2500 bucks worth of software, and I took it. (Well, considering I paid for it, I damned well better.) It felt like Christmas. Seriously. Apple Production Suite is so pretty, and SO heavy!
Flash animation seems damned fun, and for anyone that has a basic grasp in Adobe Illustrator, it's a breeze. I'm planning on doing a brief minute long cartoon starring a black dude, afro comb in hair, doing karate kicks etc. (Yea, inspiration hits me with weird ideas. This particular one kicked me in the arse on the bus coming home.) If you've ever seen the music video for the Gorillaz in particular "Clint Eastwood" that's all done in flash style animation. (To hear the song, watch the intro, enter the site, and go play around on the jukebox in the office... Or just go to the second link to watch the music video. However, browsing the "lobby" is pretty neat. You'll see what I'm talking about. This is exceedingly detailed flash animation, creating a game out of a website. You can get stuck there for hours if you're bored.) I'm thinking something along those lines, but definitely my own, a video that is approximately one and a half to two minutes long, far, far less detailed, (Hey, I'm a beginner, cut me some slack) and with pupils, so it's not so creepy looking... Although, that kinda turns me on.
At any rate, other than that, life is a COMPLETE disaster, but I'm muddling through. Thank god I can think quick in a personal crises. The sad thing is, I tend to think more logically when I'm in an absolute panic. It's just that sometimes, things don't work out the way my brain figures they WILL end up. C'est la vie.
I'm attempting to quit smoking, and it's not very fun. I usually smoke about eight to ten cigs per day, and I've cut down to two or three per day, not purchasing my own, and only buying off of classmates and friends when I know I'm going to freak right the hell out if I don't. Cold turkey is SUCH torture. Please, non-smoker friends of mine, I will give you a brief, very well intentioned warning. If you have never smoked, if you don't know what it's like to quit, as much as your support is appreciated, CONSTANTLY bringing up smoking and the attempts to quit smoking, will drive someone that is quitting... Well, batty. We love you, but this is definitely a small version of our own personal hell. Sure, we deserved it for being stupid in the first place, but if you love us, keep your trap shut.
As an aside, if you want to go play with a very tasteless Charles Manson Tamagochi, (You remember, those virtual pets... big in the mid 90s, I believe.) at any rate, go check this out. You can feed him, (Crust of bread! Glass of water!) deny his parole, have him peek out between the bars of his cell, inject him with... Something... I dunno if it's drugs or what... Probably. You even get the luxury of cleaning up his shit.
Ah, it's as stupid as the Tamagotchi's of the olden days. Now I remember why my virtual kitty, died. (gimme a break, I was a kid.)
I've been listening to a lot of Patton Oswalt's stand up comedy. For those of you who have no idea who this guy is, he's a relatively short, cynical, hysterically funny comedian that plays the character 'Spence' on King of Queens. It's a pity that his character isn't played up a little more in the show. Yes, this is one sitcom, that when it's on television, I will watch and enjoy. It doesn't hurt that I think Kevin James (Doug) is absolutely adorable. (Ach! What a gorgeous man! Seriously! *fans herself*) I highly recommend you hear Patton's skit on 80s metal bands, as well as his skit on midgets. The 80s metal skit had me in tears I was laughing so hard, on the way back from Salt Lake City to Vancouver. I was getting an awful lot of odd looks from the very conservative looking older southern couple seated across the aisle from me.
"Squibbily-Flabbily-DOO!!" -- Patton Oswalt
Flash animation seems damned fun, and for anyone that has a basic grasp in Adobe Illustrator, it's a breeze. I'm planning on doing a brief minute long cartoon starring a black dude, afro comb in hair, doing karate kicks etc. (Yea, inspiration hits me with weird ideas. This particular one kicked me in the arse on the bus coming home.) If you've ever seen the music video for the Gorillaz in particular "Clint Eastwood" that's all done in flash style animation. (To hear the song, watch the intro, enter the site, and go play around on the jukebox in the office... Or just go to the second link to watch the music video. However, browsing the "lobby" is pretty neat. You'll see what I'm talking about. This is exceedingly detailed flash animation, creating a game out of a website. You can get stuck there for hours if you're bored.) I'm thinking something along those lines, but definitely my own, a video that is approximately one and a half to two minutes long, far, far less detailed, (Hey, I'm a beginner, cut me some slack) and with pupils, so it's not so creepy looking... Although, that kinda turns me on.
At any rate, other than that, life is a COMPLETE disaster, but I'm muddling through. Thank god I can think quick in a personal crises. The sad thing is, I tend to think more logically when I'm in an absolute panic. It's just that sometimes, things don't work out the way my brain figures they WILL end up. C'est la vie.
I'm attempting to quit smoking, and it's not very fun. I usually smoke about eight to ten cigs per day, and I've cut down to two or three per day, not purchasing my own, and only buying off of classmates and friends when I know I'm going to freak right the hell out if I don't. Cold turkey is SUCH torture. Please, non-smoker friends of mine, I will give you a brief, very well intentioned warning. If you have never smoked, if you don't know what it's like to quit, as much as your support is appreciated, CONSTANTLY bringing up smoking and the attempts to quit smoking, will drive someone that is quitting... Well, batty. We love you, but this is definitely a small version of our own personal hell. Sure, we deserved it for being stupid in the first place, but if you love us, keep your trap shut.
As an aside, if you want to go play with a very tasteless Charles Manson Tamagochi, (You remember, those virtual pets... big in the mid 90s, I believe.) at any rate, go check this out. You can feed him, (Crust of bread! Glass of water!) deny his parole, have him peek out between the bars of his cell, inject him with... Something... I dunno if it's drugs or what... Probably. You even get the luxury of cleaning up his shit.
Ah, it's as stupid as the Tamagotchi's of the olden days. Now I remember why my virtual kitty, died. (gimme a break, I was a kid.)
I've been listening to a lot of Patton Oswalt's stand up comedy. For those of you who have no idea who this guy is, he's a relatively short, cynical, hysterically funny comedian that plays the character 'Spence' on King of Queens. It's a pity that his character isn't played up a little more in the show. Yes, this is one sitcom, that when it's on television, I will watch and enjoy. It doesn't hurt that I think Kevin James (Doug) is absolutely adorable. (Ach! What a gorgeous man! Seriously! *fans herself*) I highly recommend you hear Patton's skit on 80s metal bands, as well as his skit on midgets. The 80s metal skit had me in tears I was laughing so hard, on the way back from Salt Lake City to Vancouver. I was getting an awful lot of odd looks from the very conservative looking older southern couple seated across the aisle from me.
"Squibbily-Flabbily-DOO!!" -- Patton Oswalt
Sunday, May 08, 2005
The Earth Shook, The Ground Trembled...
And a feeling of disquiet swept over the brain of Linds.
It's often a case where my own doubts eat away at the foundation underneath of me. It's a frustrating, often messy situation where I'm growling at my own psyche for tossing these negative thoughts my way. I fucking hate it. I don't think I'm the only one that suffers from this. As a matter of fact, I KNOW I'm not. I once had a guy ask me if I was Manic Depressive, which to be honest, shocked the hell out of me. I don't think there's anything wrong with me persay. I just think more than the average Joe Shmoe.
I'm going through a lot of change right now, psychologically. My brain is reshuffling those thought patterns around, redistributing ideas and notions into more efficient processes, prioritizing things, and shunting those unimportant thoughts down the garburator that is in that stainless steel trap of the drain of my mind. Or at least shoving them underneath the bed and in the closet to go over at a later date. I'm preparing my dome for another intensive term of design oriented shenanigans, and I'm half dreading it. I got my marks back btw, and all but one of them were higher than a B. (Pretty snazzy, eh?)
This isn't the first series of changes my brain has been attacking me with.
A while back, I was contemplating religion. I even attended church with my Grandmother (A devout Roman Catholic) I attended the Ash Wednesday ceremony at Saint Michael's feeling like a Catholic imposter the whole time, murmuring along with whatever the hell else the crowd was saying. I attempted to the best of my ability to follow along with Lent, giving up meat on Wednesdays and Fridays, and being celibate. It wasn't easy, and to be honest, I made a few mistakes on the meat eating end of the bargain. The celibacy, surprisingly enough, was easier to stick to. I went 40 days, and 40 nights, without so much as a hand/tongue/naughty bit below the waist. Of course, if you tallied up the time I didn't fool around BEFORE lent, including lent, and after lent, I went about 150 days and 150 nights celibate. For me, that's a remarkable effort. After this entire ordeal, I left a stronger individual, more in control of my body and my mentality, which ultimately was the goal. I admit, it wasn't quite the goal that the Roman Catholic Church had in mind for me, but I learned a lot about myself, which was MY goal.
Why, do you ask, did I refrain from carnal carousery for such an extended period of time? It's hard to pinpoint why. Perhaps it was because I was tired of being the cumbucket for assholes that didn't give a shit about my feelings, or about the thoughts and emotions of the person that owned the pussy they were blithely using. Perhaps it was because I was starting to feel that sexual relations with people that I didn't care about was as exciting/pleasant as playing cribbage with my grandmother when I was on the losing end, or watching grass grow, or paint dry, or chewing glass. You get the gist.
I was wondering how many people I had hurt intentionally with one night stands, where they seemed to have an interest in me, and I was just looking for that brief release that they could provide. (Hey, I'm no angel. Sometimes my sexual appetite is frightening even for me. I regret hurting people that way, more than I care to admit.) I was feeling overwhelmed with my own sexual desires, being that I'm a very emotional, passionate, demanding individual. So I forced myself to choose celibacy. It was a mixture of punishment, and a test, to see if I had the strength of character to deny my urges. I turned down offers from men that if I was in my normal state of mind, I would NEVER have turned down. Gorgeous men, intelligent men, but on the whole, shallow men. Men that regardless of experience or intelligence, wouldn't appreciate me as a person. Men that took my feelings, and thoughts, and made a mockery of them. That patronized me in order to get into my panties. Not cool. If you wanted to con me into fucking you, I'm intelligent/observant/aware enough to read through your bullshit a majority of the time, and honesty gets you a LOT further than trying to worm your way around the subject. I might turn you down, but at least you get an answer without fucking with my head.
Sexual frustration certainly held it's own temper tantrum in my brain during that 150 day/night long period, but the last person I had sex with before my "Chastastical** Celebration against Carnality" used it as a weapon against me. (As well as several other things) I think that is an unforgivable sin in the land of relationships. He rarely had time to TALK to me on the phone, let alone drop trou and give poor Linds a ride on the Sausage Express. (Thats the S. Ex. for short.) HIS needs were imminently more important than mine ever were, and he never failed to make it as complicated as possible when I asked for some nookie. I would bend over backwards, sexually or otherwise to try to make him happy. Not that it mattered. I don't care. The fucker called me two days before my trip, and I was shocked as hell to get a phone call from him. I guess his pecker wanted some kitty action, and I was very VERY happy to be able to deny him that pleasure. I'm not a booty call. At least not anymore.
The purpose of this written diarrhea? There is none really. I just wanted to write. This isn't a bitter attack against ex-lovers, because I've had enough that I've hurt myself to know it's probably karma biting me in the ass. I'm just lost inside my noggin right now, and this is as good a place to rant as any.
** Yes, I did make up the word Chastastical. It has a nice ring to it. Kinda like fantabulous and gigantism. Okay, maybe not gigantism. Hey, if "Baby Mama" can be a legitimate dictionary word, Chastastical can be, damnit.
As an aside, I just took an IQ test. Interesting results.
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.
It's often a case where my own doubts eat away at the foundation underneath of me. It's a frustrating, often messy situation where I'm growling at my own psyche for tossing these negative thoughts my way. I fucking hate it. I don't think I'm the only one that suffers from this. As a matter of fact, I KNOW I'm not. I once had a guy ask me if I was Manic Depressive, which to be honest, shocked the hell out of me. I don't think there's anything wrong with me persay. I just think more than the average Joe Shmoe.
I'm going through a lot of change right now, psychologically. My brain is reshuffling those thought patterns around, redistributing ideas and notions into more efficient processes, prioritizing things, and shunting those unimportant thoughts down the garburator that is in that stainless steel trap of the drain of my mind. Or at least shoving them underneath the bed and in the closet to go over at a later date. I'm preparing my dome for another intensive term of design oriented shenanigans, and I'm half dreading it. I got my marks back btw, and all but one of them were higher than a B. (Pretty snazzy, eh?)
This isn't the first series of changes my brain has been attacking me with.
A while back, I was contemplating religion. I even attended church with my Grandmother (A devout Roman Catholic) I attended the Ash Wednesday ceremony at Saint Michael's feeling like a Catholic imposter the whole time, murmuring along with whatever the hell else the crowd was saying. I attempted to the best of my ability to follow along with Lent, giving up meat on Wednesdays and Fridays, and being celibate. It wasn't easy, and to be honest, I made a few mistakes on the meat eating end of the bargain. The celibacy, surprisingly enough, was easier to stick to. I went 40 days, and 40 nights, without so much as a hand/tongue/naughty bit below the waist. Of course, if you tallied up the time I didn't fool around BEFORE lent, including lent, and after lent, I went about 150 days and 150 nights celibate. For me, that's a remarkable effort. After this entire ordeal, I left a stronger individual, more in control of my body and my mentality, which ultimately was the goal. I admit, it wasn't quite the goal that the Roman Catholic Church had in mind for me, but I learned a lot about myself, which was MY goal.
Why, do you ask, did I refrain from carnal carousery for such an extended period of time? It's hard to pinpoint why. Perhaps it was because I was tired of being the cumbucket for assholes that didn't give a shit about my feelings, or about the thoughts and emotions of the person that owned the pussy they were blithely using. Perhaps it was because I was starting to feel that sexual relations with people that I didn't care about was as exciting/pleasant as playing cribbage with my grandmother when I was on the losing end, or watching grass grow, or paint dry, or chewing glass. You get the gist.
I was wondering how many people I had hurt intentionally with one night stands, where they seemed to have an interest in me, and I was just looking for that brief release that they could provide. (Hey, I'm no angel. Sometimes my sexual appetite is frightening even for me. I regret hurting people that way, more than I care to admit.) I was feeling overwhelmed with my own sexual desires, being that I'm a very emotional, passionate, demanding individual. So I forced myself to choose celibacy. It was a mixture of punishment, and a test, to see if I had the strength of character to deny my urges. I turned down offers from men that if I was in my normal state of mind, I would NEVER have turned down. Gorgeous men, intelligent men, but on the whole, shallow men. Men that regardless of experience or intelligence, wouldn't appreciate me as a person. Men that took my feelings, and thoughts, and made a mockery of them. That patronized me in order to get into my panties. Not cool. If you wanted to con me into fucking you, I'm intelligent/observant/aware enough to read through your bullshit a majority of the time, and honesty gets you a LOT further than trying to worm your way around the subject. I might turn you down, but at least you get an answer without fucking with my head.
Sexual frustration certainly held it's own temper tantrum in my brain during that 150 day/night long period, but the last person I had sex with before my "Chastastical** Celebration against Carnality" used it as a weapon against me. (As well as several other things) I think that is an unforgivable sin in the land of relationships. He rarely had time to TALK to me on the phone, let alone drop trou and give poor Linds a ride on the Sausage Express. (Thats the S. Ex. for short.) HIS needs were imminently more important than mine ever were, and he never failed to make it as complicated as possible when I asked for some nookie. I would bend over backwards, sexually or otherwise to try to make him happy. Not that it mattered. I don't care. The fucker called me two days before my trip, and I was shocked as hell to get a phone call from him. I guess his pecker wanted some kitty action, and I was very VERY happy to be able to deny him that pleasure. I'm not a booty call. At least not anymore.
The purpose of this written diarrhea? There is none really. I just wanted to write. This isn't a bitter attack against ex-lovers, because I've had enough that I've hurt myself to know it's probably karma biting me in the ass. I'm just lost inside my noggin right now, and this is as good a place to rant as any.
** Yes, I did make up the word Chastastical. It has a nice ring to it. Kinda like fantabulous and gigantism. Okay, maybe not gigantism. Hey, if "Baby Mama" can be a legitimate dictionary word, Chastastical can be, damnit.
As an aside, I just took an IQ test. Interesting results.
Congratulations, Linds!
Your IQ score is 129
Your IQ score is 129
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
I'm a Technological CRIPPLE!
Okay.
So today I spent a large portion of my late morning and early afternoon sorting bottles with the Cubscouts (my five year old nephew is one of the scads of little boys associated with them.) It's amazing how you can differentiate between higher class areas of my neighborhood merely by seeing what bottles are returned for recycling. I sorted through about 800 bucks worth of cans, wine bottles, liquor bottles, beer cans, juice tetra packs, and a myriad assortment of other beverage containers. Thank god for rubbers.
Gloves, sickos. Gloves.
I watched the new release "Lemony Snickets an Unfortunate Series of Events" with my girlfriend Crystal, and I was slightly dissapointed in the movie. Granted, they left ample opportunity for a sequel, but left you hanging in a most dramatic way, I was tempted to stomp my dainty size 11 foot, and fling my very short, hair that is trapped underneath my bandana. Some of the scenes were beautifully done though, a veritable feast for the eyes. However, I'm glad I didn't go and see it in theatres. Speaking of watching movies in a theatre, I highly recommend "Kung Fu Hustle" imagine a fairly well done Kung Fu movie that was attacked by Mel Brooks. I saw this one in Dallas with Devin and Gedde. Both hunky boys, too bad I wasn't in the middle. (Ooo, that was dirty.)
Once I arrived back at home, I decided to fiddle with my computer with the intention of making my icons prettier. (Yeah, I'm a girl.) Lovely thought indeed. I changed it around some. I was satisfied, but there had been something irking me regarding the way my name was displayed on my Finder (This is Mackintosh geek speak, btw.) Lo and behold, the technological retard that I am, I change it around thinking nothing of it. I restart my laptop, and EVERYTHING on my desktop is gone. Oooh, that wasn't supposed to happen. Uhm... Maybe if I restart it again, it could be a glitch.
No. No it's not a glitch.
*Commence shitting pants.... NOW.* (I did not actually shit my pants. That's hyperbole.)
Granted, Mac's are super easy comps to use, and nothing was really 'missing' persay, everything was just... Well, NOT where I left it. I admit, my mind went *panicpanicpanicpanic!* (I did, indeed, panic.) I debated on phoning Devin for a few minutes, but thought to myself, "Self" I thought, "Fix your own damned mistakes, and if you're really stuck, make that phone call." I figured it out... sorta. I did lose ALL of my bookmarks, and I'm sure there are a zillion things out of whack now with my laptop until I run a few repairing programmes, but I saved my own arse. Let's hope. I know that my business files are still there, and so is all the other stuff I had done. Thanks be to the gods.
At any rate, The Jewish Princess and Chris, my part time design employer, are going to take me out and get me quite, quite inebriated. Not too shabby a deal.
Ciao for now.
So today I spent a large portion of my late morning and early afternoon sorting bottles with the Cubscouts (my five year old nephew is one of the scads of little boys associated with them.) It's amazing how you can differentiate between higher class areas of my neighborhood merely by seeing what bottles are returned for recycling. I sorted through about 800 bucks worth of cans, wine bottles, liquor bottles, beer cans, juice tetra packs, and a myriad assortment of other beverage containers. Thank god for rubbers.
Gloves, sickos. Gloves.
I watched the new release "Lemony Snickets an Unfortunate Series of Events" with my girlfriend Crystal, and I was slightly dissapointed in the movie. Granted, they left ample opportunity for a sequel, but left you hanging in a most dramatic way, I was tempted to stomp my dainty size 11 foot, and fling my very short, hair that is trapped underneath my bandana. Some of the scenes were beautifully done though, a veritable feast for the eyes. However, I'm glad I didn't go and see it in theatres. Speaking of watching movies in a theatre, I highly recommend "Kung Fu Hustle" imagine a fairly well done Kung Fu movie that was attacked by Mel Brooks. I saw this one in Dallas with Devin and Gedde. Both hunky boys, too bad I wasn't in the middle. (Ooo, that was dirty.)
Once I arrived back at home, I decided to fiddle with my computer with the intention of making my icons prettier. (Yeah, I'm a girl.) Lovely thought indeed. I changed it around some. I was satisfied, but there had been something irking me regarding the way my name was displayed on my Finder (This is Mackintosh geek speak, btw.) Lo and behold, the technological retard that I am, I change it around thinking nothing of it. I restart my laptop, and EVERYTHING on my desktop is gone. Oooh, that wasn't supposed to happen. Uhm... Maybe if I restart it again, it could be a glitch.
No. No it's not a glitch.
*Commence shitting pants.... NOW.* (I did not actually shit my pants. That's hyperbole.)
Granted, Mac's are super easy comps to use, and nothing was really 'missing' persay, everything was just... Well, NOT where I left it. I admit, my mind went *panicpanicpanicpanic!* (I did, indeed, panic.) I debated on phoning Devin for a few minutes, but thought to myself, "Self" I thought, "Fix your own damned mistakes, and if you're really stuck, make that phone call." I figured it out... sorta. I did lose ALL of my bookmarks, and I'm sure there are a zillion things out of whack now with my laptop until I run a few repairing programmes, but I saved my own arse. Let's hope. I know that my business files are still there, and so is all the other stuff I had done. Thanks be to the gods.
At any rate, The Jewish Princess and Chris, my part time design employer, are going to take me out and get me quite, quite inebriated. Not too shabby a deal.
Ciao for now.
Friday, May 06, 2005
"MEME" MANIA! SHE'S CRAZY!!
Fuck these things are addictive. Stupid Meme's.
Your #1 Match: ENFJ |
| You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. |
Your #2 Match: INFJ |
The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. |
Your #3 Match: ENFP |
The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. |
Ouch!
I'm torn between wondering if this is a good thing, or wondering if it's not so much.
Your Taste in Music: |
| 80's R&B: Highest Influence |
| Classic Rock: Highest Influence |
| 80's Alternative: High Influence |
| 80's Pop: High Influence |
| 80's Rock: High Influence |
| 90's Alternative: High Influence |
| 90's Pop: High Influence |
| Adult Alternative: High Influence |
| 90's Hip Hop: Medium Influence |
| 90's R&B: Medium Influence |
| Alternative Rock: Medium Influence |
| Gangsta Rap: Medium Influence |
| Punk: Medium Influence |
| R&B: Medium Influence |
| Hair Bands: Low Influence |
| Hip Hop: Low Influence |
| Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence |
| Progressive Rock: Low Influence |
| Ska: Low Influence |
Fuck! No way! *smirks*
You Are 25 Years Old |
25 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
All You Need Is Love...
Album of the Moment: Sarah McLauglan -- "Afterglow"
A couple Friday five questionnaires, that I found fitting for the week. Since it's been all about love, and looking at myself from a different perspective.
1.) Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
Yes, I'm a diehard romantic. I've always felt that there might be that slight possibility that the moment you make eye contact with the person that fate has tossed your way to be your "soulmate". My father asked my mother to marry him less than 24 hours after meeting her, and after 26 years they are still together. Sometimes not as happy as other times, but they still keep on trucking throughout all the difficulties that pop up. That, and the fact that every girl grows up with the notion that they will find their "prince charming" keeps a little bit of faith left in this heart of mine.
2.) What physical feature attracts you the most (romantically) to another person?
Hrm. Good question. Probably the eyes (How cheesy is that...) I'm a direct person, and if I can't make eye contact with them when they talk to me, I always seem to feel that they are hiding something from me. Oftentimes, I find that most men can't hold eye contact with me for very long, (and it's not like I'm having this staring contest to see who looks away first...) I just enjoy a person with the confidence to have a conversation and back up the things they say with the things that can be said in a look.
3.) What do you think is the biggest benefit of being in a romantic relationship?
The ability to develop trust and to have someone there when you need an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a naked body to rub up against. Having someone hold your hand when you walk down the street, or curl up next to you when you're falling asleep at night. Hearing the words "I Love You" whispered into your ear, when you need to hear it the most.
4.) Biggest downside?
I could say the small things, like having to compromise, or losing a little freedom, or not being allowed to be promiscuous, if that's your bag... However, the hardest thing for me to imagine, is something that my grandmother has gone through where she was madly in love with her husband for almost 40 years, and he died unexpectedly on Valentines Day in 1997. The thought of loving someone SO much, where they become an intregal part of your life and then having them suddenly ripped away, is terrifying to contemplate.
5.) Has your idea of love and romance changed? If so, how?
That seems to be a vague question. Perhaps if they specified an age differentiation. Whatever.
Yes, of course my idea of love and romance have changed since I was a child to present day. I might be disgustingly romantic, but I'm realistic.
I didn't date until I was 18, and I was a stupid teenage girl that thought the first person I dated was the person I was going to be with forever. (Thank Gad that's not the truth, since that first four and a half year long relationship was hellish in proportion.) I left that relationship a completely different person from the girl that entered it, and the shit that I dealt with left me a stronger, more independant person.
I dated around for a few years after that, but never found "love" other than a few brief relationships, and discovered, much to my dismay, that most men regard romance as something that the dog left behind and stuck accidentally to their shoe. Please note, that I say MOST, and not ALL. There are always exceptions to any statement. The ones that are decent, are taken for the most part, or never have thier potential realized because they are horribly shy, which is a pity.
Lately, love has taken a new form, and it's confusing and complicated. It's also more fulfilling than anything I could imagine, and it has taught me patience, communication skills, tolerance, acceptance, independance, and the ability to love unconditionally. Those lessons alone are worth more than gold.
Regardless of all this "life lesson" bullshit, I've always maintained the viewpoint that I would be happy living in a shack with someone that adored me (and that reciprocated that sentiment) than in a mansion with someone I could barely tolerate.
It's all about ME, ME, ME!
1) What is one thing about you that you hate?
One thing?! Well, I could say my body, but that would be too nondescript. (and quite honestly, most of the time I'm comfortable in my skin.) Most likely it would be the pooch I have that is genetically gifted to me from every female in my family. Gosh, thanks. The same goes for my size 11 feet. I pamper the hell out of them with pedicures and such, but I hate them.
2) What is one thing about you that you love?
I love my eyes. I communicate through them as well as I do through my mouth and my writing. I could never be a good poker player unless I wore shades, or a good liar because I can never hold eye contact long enough to tell a decent lie unless it's going to save my ass from being fired.
3) If you had to change one thing about you what would it be and why?
I bite my nails. It's an automatic reflex from when I was little, that I never notice until it's too late. I usually only do it when I'm stressed out, or riding in the back of my business partner's car when she's driving. (A wholly terrifying incident, let me assure you.)
4) What is one word that you would use to define yourself, and why?
Observant. I usually notice when someone has subtly changed the shade of lipstick they wear, or had a haircut, or dyed their hair about two seconds after I see them. I laugh at a lot of signs that I read along the way that seem to pique my sense of humour. I criticize the hell out of people with no fashion sense (but only in my head, unless Ryan is around.) I'm often asked to read over someone's writing to make sure there are no typos (to the best of my ability. My friend Travis calls me the spelling Nazi.) and catch them all the time in published books that I read. Gee, don't I sound boring.
5) Imagine what you would look like in a perfect world.. what do you look like?
My feet would be a size nine, my hair would obey my every command, I would still be curvacious, but wouldn't have the pooch happening, and my nails would not be bitten. Simple, superficial things that don't really matter.
A couple Friday five questionnaires, that I found fitting for the week. Since it's been all about love, and looking at myself from a different perspective.
1.) Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
Yes, I'm a diehard romantic. I've always felt that there might be that slight possibility that the moment you make eye contact with the person that fate has tossed your way to be your "soulmate". My father asked my mother to marry him less than 24 hours after meeting her, and after 26 years they are still together. Sometimes not as happy as other times, but they still keep on trucking throughout all the difficulties that pop up. That, and the fact that every girl grows up with the notion that they will find their "prince charming" keeps a little bit of faith left in this heart of mine.
2.) What physical feature attracts you the most (romantically) to another person?
Hrm. Good question. Probably the eyes (How cheesy is that...) I'm a direct person, and if I can't make eye contact with them when they talk to me, I always seem to feel that they are hiding something from me. Oftentimes, I find that most men can't hold eye contact with me for very long, (and it's not like I'm having this staring contest to see who looks away first...) I just enjoy a person with the confidence to have a conversation and back up the things they say with the things that can be said in a look.
3.) What do you think is the biggest benefit of being in a romantic relationship?
The ability to develop trust and to have someone there when you need an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a naked body to rub up against. Having someone hold your hand when you walk down the street, or curl up next to you when you're falling asleep at night. Hearing the words "I Love You" whispered into your ear, when you need to hear it the most.
4.) Biggest downside?
I could say the small things, like having to compromise, or losing a little freedom, or not being allowed to be promiscuous, if that's your bag... However, the hardest thing for me to imagine, is something that my grandmother has gone through where she was madly in love with her husband for almost 40 years, and he died unexpectedly on Valentines Day in 1997. The thought of loving someone SO much, where they become an intregal part of your life and then having them suddenly ripped away, is terrifying to contemplate.
5.) Has your idea of love and romance changed? If so, how?
That seems to be a vague question. Perhaps if they specified an age differentiation. Whatever.
Yes, of course my idea of love and romance have changed since I was a child to present day. I might be disgustingly romantic, but I'm realistic.
I didn't date until I was 18, and I was a stupid teenage girl that thought the first person I dated was the person I was going to be with forever. (Thank Gad that's not the truth, since that first four and a half year long relationship was hellish in proportion.) I left that relationship a completely different person from the girl that entered it, and the shit that I dealt with left me a stronger, more independant person.
I dated around for a few years after that, but never found "love" other than a few brief relationships, and discovered, much to my dismay, that most men regard romance as something that the dog left behind and stuck accidentally to their shoe. Please note, that I say MOST, and not ALL. There are always exceptions to any statement. The ones that are decent, are taken for the most part, or never have thier potential realized because they are horribly shy, which is a pity.
Lately, love has taken a new form, and it's confusing and complicated. It's also more fulfilling than anything I could imagine, and it has taught me patience, communication skills, tolerance, acceptance, independance, and the ability to love unconditionally. Those lessons alone are worth more than gold.
Regardless of all this "life lesson" bullshit, I've always maintained the viewpoint that I would be happy living in a shack with someone that adored me (and that reciprocated that sentiment) than in a mansion with someone I could barely tolerate.
It's all about ME, ME, ME!
1) What is one thing about you that you hate?
One thing?! Well, I could say my body, but that would be too nondescript. (and quite honestly, most of the time I'm comfortable in my skin.) Most likely it would be the pooch I have that is genetically gifted to me from every female in my family. Gosh, thanks. The same goes for my size 11 feet. I pamper the hell out of them with pedicures and such, but I hate them.
2) What is one thing about you that you love?
I love my eyes. I communicate through them as well as I do through my mouth and my writing. I could never be a good poker player unless I wore shades, or a good liar because I can never hold eye contact long enough to tell a decent lie unless it's going to save my ass from being fired.
3) If you had to change one thing about you what would it be and why?
I bite my nails. It's an automatic reflex from when I was little, that I never notice until it's too late. I usually only do it when I'm stressed out, or riding in the back of my business partner's car when she's driving. (A wholly terrifying incident, let me assure you.)
4) What is one word that you would use to define yourself, and why?
Observant. I usually notice when someone has subtly changed the shade of lipstick they wear, or had a haircut, or dyed their hair about two seconds after I see them. I laugh at a lot of signs that I read along the way that seem to pique my sense of humour. I criticize the hell out of people with no fashion sense (but only in my head, unless Ryan is around.) I'm often asked to read over someone's writing to make sure there are no typos (to the best of my ability. My friend Travis calls me the spelling Nazi.) and catch them all the time in published books that I read. Gee, don't I sound boring.
5) Imagine what you would look like in a perfect world.. what do you look like?
My feet would be a size nine, my hair would obey my every command, I would still be curvacious, but wouldn't have the pooch happening, and my nails would not be bitten. Simple, superficial things that don't really matter.
Fucking Tuition...
Apparently, my tuition is able to go up three hundred dollars without breaking a sweat. I however, am sweating profusely. I'm also cursing profusely.
I'm also phoning around profusely, getting my life back in order. Since it seemed to go off of the rails for the duration of my break. I'm not one to linger in disorder for too long.
I'm also phoning around profusely, getting my life back in order. Since it seemed to go off of the rails for the duration of my break. I'm not one to linger in disorder for too long.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
"The Heart Wants What It Wants...
There's no logic to those things." - Woody Allen
Devin and Linds.
The photo is slightly blurry, but it matches my mood right now.
My hair is possessed, but that's nothing unusual after waking up in the morning. It does what it wants on top of my head... So I manage. I smile EVERY time I see this picture.
Devin and Linds.
The photo is slightly blurry, but it matches my mood right now.
My hair is possessed, but that's nothing unusual after waking up in the morning. It does what it wants on top of my head... So I manage. I smile EVERY time I see this picture.
Oh, It's flooding down in Texas...
But not all of the telephone lines are down. Figures that the weather as soon as I step off the plane in hometown has better weather than poor Dallas and surrounding area. All I could see was sunshine when I got off my Delta Airlines flight.
I don't know exactly what to say. I had a good time. I fell head over head over head over heels, and I knew it was coming. It still hit me unexpectedly. And I'm...
*sighs*
I'm at a loss for words, and for me that's rare.
I didn't want to leave. I cried after he left me at the terminal, like the pussy girl I am. I didn't want to cry in front of him. He consoled my heart the way he does best, the way he always has. I was loathe to leave, when I'd finally found some simple happiness in someone's arms... And I had to walk away from it. And not a few miles away, but over three thousand miles away. Quite honestly, I'm exhausted, and it's not really a physical exhaustion.
Mike Guerrero, you're a doll. Really really. Any girl that gets you is lucky. You're demeanor and your generosity of spirit is overwhelming.
Jerilyn, Devin has those CD's for you. I wish I had the chance to hang out with you, but knowing how hectic your schedule has been lately... I understand. Another time, princess.
I need a long hot shower. Maybe the tears won't be so noticeable.
I don't know exactly what to say. I had a good time. I fell head over head over head over heels, and I knew it was coming. It still hit me unexpectedly. And I'm...
*sighs*
I'm at a loss for words, and for me that's rare.
I didn't want to leave. I cried after he left me at the terminal, like the pussy girl I am. I didn't want to cry in front of him. He consoled my heart the way he does best, the way he always has. I was loathe to leave, when I'd finally found some simple happiness in someone's arms... And I had to walk away from it. And not a few miles away, but over three thousand miles away. Quite honestly, I'm exhausted, and it's not really a physical exhaustion.
Mike Guerrero, you're a doll. Really really. Any girl that gets you is lucky. You're demeanor and your generosity of spirit is overwhelming.
Jerilyn, Devin has those CD's for you. I wish I had the chance to hang out with you, but knowing how hectic your schedule has been lately... I understand. Another time, princess.
I need a long hot shower. Maybe the tears won't be so noticeable.
Okay, so....
I'm gonna be pretty forthright, and admit that there won't be posts for a few more days. I've got a lot of thinking happening in my head, and I need to sort through a large portion of it.
In all honesty... I don't really wanna go home... I know I have to though.
In all honesty... I don't really wanna go home... I know I have to though.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Gooooood Morning Vancouver!!!
Long time no post. *smiles*
I'm sitting in the living room of the "swamp" (What is it with myself and the people I care about anthromorphizing the places we live in?)
I could tell you my vacation was perfect, and it's pretty damned close to it. I'm enjoying myself, I just wish I wasn't so damned tired right now. I can't exactly pinpoint why. (And get your mind out of the gutter, damnit.)
It hit me yesterday, that the people I read about, are real. That's pretty trippy. I was sitting in the back of the car with Devin driving, and Marty in the passenger seat, and I'm thinking in my head, Jesus, Linds. You're actually HERE. This isn't another random picture of Marty and Dev from the back of the car.
As it stands right now, I'm watching Star Trek The Next Generation, (yeah I'm a dork... Whatever.) Consoling a very talkative Edison (Who, btw, loves my dress shirts, They seem to make a perfect kitty bed.) and typing out a brief entry in Glamazon Shoes, with Devin sitting right beside me yakking on the phone. Stupid that simple things like this seem so unreal to me, but I've been waiting for a little over two years to do this simple little action. That's what makes it seem so unbelievable. Dev and I have been talking A LOT. Which is expected, I realize. And it's wonderful to have this unadulterated chance TO talk to him. Amidst many other things. I'm awash in a million different feelings that are a little overwhelming, but seem to be able to handle most of them. The most prominent being happiness. There are a few less savoury emotions mixed in there. However, I'm not going to mention them.
I'm going to get off the computer for a while now, I've been remarkably adept at avoiding using it for the majority of the time I'm here. (And let me tell you, it sure makes a smile cross my face when Devin drools over my laptop. I couldn't help but grin. Who am I to deny Dev playing around on a slick little machine like this.) I'm just happy to be here.
I'm sitting in the living room of the "swamp" (What is it with myself and the people I care about anthromorphizing the places we live in?)
I could tell you my vacation was perfect, and it's pretty damned close to it. I'm enjoying myself, I just wish I wasn't so damned tired right now. I can't exactly pinpoint why. (And get your mind out of the gutter, damnit.)
It hit me yesterday, that the people I read about, are real. That's pretty trippy. I was sitting in the back of the car with Devin driving, and Marty in the passenger seat, and I'm thinking in my head, Jesus, Linds. You're actually HERE. This isn't another random picture of Marty and Dev from the back of the car.
As it stands right now, I'm watching Star Trek The Next Generation, (yeah I'm a dork... Whatever.) Consoling a very talkative Edison (Who, btw, loves my dress shirts, They seem to make a perfect kitty bed.) and typing out a brief entry in Glamazon Shoes, with Devin sitting right beside me yakking on the phone. Stupid that simple things like this seem so unreal to me, but I've been waiting for a little over two years to do this simple little action. That's what makes it seem so unbelievable. Dev and I have been talking A LOT. Which is expected, I realize. And it's wonderful to have this unadulterated chance TO talk to him. Amidst many other things. I'm awash in a million different feelings that are a little overwhelming, but seem to be able to handle most of them. The most prominent being happiness. There are a few less savoury emotions mixed in there. However, I'm not going to mention them.
I'm going to get off the computer for a while now, I've been remarkably adept at avoiding using it for the majority of the time I'm here. (And let me tell you, it sure makes a smile cross my face when Devin drools over my laptop. I couldn't help but grin. Who am I to deny Dev playing around on a slick little machine like this.) I'm just happy to be here.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Birthday?
Well, 25 sure doesn't feel much different than 24. Let's hope it works out nicer than 24.
Here's my horoscope, and this is the only damned horoscope I look forward to each and every year. This is from georgianichols.com
Daily:
Here's my horoscope, and this is the only damned horoscope I look forward to each and every year. This is from georgianichols.com
Daily:
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You want to help a little old lady across the street. (Whether she wants to go or not.) People see you as kind and sympathetic today. This quality is actually "public" for some reason. Perhaps your idealism shows. (You want to relieve suffering in the world.)
If Your Birthday Is Today
Singer Tim McGraw (1967) shares your birthday. You're realistic; and yet you see life's ironies. Personally, you're calm and reasonable. You have excellent powers of observation. You're interested in whatever is happening around you. You know how to use the power of laughter. Get ready for a fabulous time: the year ahead might be one of the best years of your life!
Tim McGraw?! Sweet! He's fucking HOT!!
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