Good God, She's Breeding!

*Sighs*

Britters, Britters, Britters.

Don't produce MORE progeny of the Federline, Please, pleeeeaaase!

I enjoyed the Britney/Christina/Madonna kiss attention grabbing nonsense, but please don't think that you're the first trio of women to play around for attention. I've seen much worse at the bar. (Hell, I've DONE much worse at the bar.) I enjoyed watching you become the slutty airline attendant/"Bond-ish" Girl (actually in that picture, it should be "Bondage" girl. Whoo...) in your catchy "Toxic" music video (I actually LOVE the concept behind that music vid, I'll admit that much.) Even though I most definitely despise you, indeed I do, I'm completely dissapointed that you've gone from semi-attractive (Though incredibly slow) coquette, and suddenly, you've sunk to the depths of white trash-o-rama becoming Lurleen-Jerlayne, country bumpkin, barefoot and preggers in the kitchen. However, it gives me GREAT fodder for posts such as these.

I'm all for popping out babies, (you've got the equipment after all) but when stupid breeds with stupid, (For instance, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechey *shudders*) expect some idiot savant progeny. They'll be counting out "Jelly Belly" jellybeans(TM) in a jar to exact numbers in mere seconds, but unable to hold intelligent conversation, repeating themselves ala Rain Man. (Definitely, definitely 4538 jellybeans. Definitely.)

Congratulations are in order, however, that you've managed to keep this marriage lasting (approximately) over 65.333333333 times LONGER than your previous one.

Kudos.

(A special thanks to Cryptic, who's style of posting influenced this one. It wasn't intentional, but after linking the HELL out of this post to other pages, I thought, why not do it exactly the way he does today?)